Are You Having an Existential Crisis?

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Everything has been figured out, except how to live. –Jean Paul Sartre

Source: Eetum / Istock

Søren Kierkegaard was a Danish philosopher who is considered to be the father of existentialism. He was critical of religious philosophy, emphasizing that individuals must give meaning to their own lives rather than base it on abstract thought or social doctrines.

Kierkegaard argued that the driving force of human existence is not about achieving certain earthly goals but to evolve from our perceived self to a more idealized version of ourselves. He suggests that freedom of choices causes a state of despair and, for that reason, humans outsource the meaning of life to external factors such as having a prestigious job rather than coming to terms with their true desires, morals, and purpose. The earthly goals serve as a distraction to the despair that is associated with the search for the meaning of life.

Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts. –Kierkegaard

The inability to identify meaning in one’s life causes anxiety, which today is referred to as an existential crisis.

Other early existential philosophers, such as Friedrich Nietzsche and Fyodor Dostoyevsky, also explored the anxiety that comes with the burden of creating one’s own identity and finding one's purpose.

The most common lie is the lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception. –Nietzsche.

Like Kierkegaard, Nietzsche also viewed Christianity and other religious philosophies as self-denying and believed that they lead to conformity rather than individualism.

One of the contributions Nietzsche added to existentialism is the concept of "will power," in which he refers to the infinite human drive to overcome the obstacles that get in the way finding one's true self. Nietzsche emphasized that self-creation cultivates a unique purpose in life on an individual level.

Dostoyevsky’s Notes From Underground is considered one of the first existential novels, which describes how free will and emotions can dictate human behavior. The novel portrays the diary of an underground man, who, amidst his infinite failures, tries to exist and struggles to define himself, to define the universe around him, and to belong.

Existential Therapy

The German psychoanalyst Otto Rank is considered the first therapist to practice existential therapy. Rather than focusing on past experiences, or sub/unconscious motivations and drives, Rank focused on the present by exploring feelings and thoughts.

Existential therapists believe that anxiety comes from uncertainty about existing in an unpredictable world and see the desire to assert one’s own existence on the world as one of the most fundamental human drives. The goal of existential therapy is to guide the client to come to terms with one’s mortality and the changing nature of the world and to cultivate a deeper sense of self.

Carl Jung believed that the first half of our formation is devoted to developing our ego, and the second half is about integrating our unconscious to our identity and, thus, thriving forward to wholeness. During this transition, the questions we ask ourselves may cause pain and trigger an existential crisis.

According to the Jungian psychoanalyst James Hollis, many people base the metric of success on tangible achievements and material possessions, but at some point in their lives come to the realization that these things do not bring happiness or a sense of fulfillment. This awakening leads to a search for the meaning of life and their purpose in this world, and they start their journey to find their true self and inner wisdom.

Existential therapy is based on the following:

• Self-awareness
• Free will
• Choices
• Exploring unique qualities of one’s self
• Growing through interpersonal relationships
• Freedom of creating self
• Thriving to idealized self
• The discomfort of the search of true self
• Anxiety and despair associated with the human experience of finding purpose and meaning of life.
• Questioning one’s morbidity
• Creating a path
• Anxiety related to uncertainty to the changing nature of self, meaning of life, and the physical “world”

Existential therapy guides the client in self-exploration and focuses on coping with the anxiety about existence such as fear of death or loneliness, making meaning of their own lives, and finding their true identity and purpose.

An existential crisis is when a person questions their existence and the meaning of their life. This can be a bleak and lonely experience; however, it can also be a time of great self-discovery and growth.

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What Constitutes an Existential Crisis

• Questioning the meaning of your life
• Feeling numb, empty, or unfulfilled
• Feeling nihilistic
• Feeling one should not exist at all
• Feeling really small in a grand universe
• Feeling lonely
• Dreading the future
• Questioning one’s life choices
• Conviction that one has chosen the wrong path
• Feeling stuck
• Feeling lost
• Unexplainable sadness, guilt, and anxiety
• Lack of purpose and meaning of life

What Causes an Existential Crisis

Existential crises can be triggered by losing a loved one, not feeling fulfilled in one’s job or accomplishments, having unrealized dreams, having broken relationships, or feeling that one’s investments and efforts have not paid off.

An existential crisis comes from the desire to shed the part of us that conforms to society’s norms of success and thrives for self-expression.

How to Cope With an Existential Crisis

• Cultivating our connections: Humans flourish in connection with one another. In moments of despair, it’s important to reach out to our loved ones, cultivate new meaningful relationships, and establish a feeling of belonging within our communities.
• Identifying your own values: Explore what is important to you. What drives you? What gives you a sense of fulfillment?
• Self-awareness: Recognizing your feelings and thoughts and identifying certain repeating patterns and dysfunctional narratives is an essential element of personal growth and fulfillment.
• Authentic living: Analyze your lifestyle and make sure that it is in alignment with your core beliefs and values.
• Self-expression and creativity: Find ways to express your feelings and make room for activities that are meaningful and joyful for you.
• Designing one’s own life: Evaluate your life choices and make necessary adjustments so your day-to-day life reflects your inner truth.
• Redefining success: At different stages of life, our understanding of success changes. In earlier stages of development, we may view financial success and recognition from others as the main identifiers of success, but in later stages, we might notice that these things are not sufficient or fulfilling on their own. We might realize that our health is our biggest asset, and our understanding of success may be about finding joy in life, being content with who we are, having healthy habits, and making meaningful connections with others.

In a world in which you create your own meaning, it is easy to fall into despair and have the belief that life is pointless. The inability to identify meaning in one’s life causes distress; however, an existential crisis could be a deeply transformative journey of exploration, creativity, and finding a new sense of identity.

Discomfort is the catalyst of growth, and being content with the anxiety of one’s quest for true self rather than running from it will lead to wholeness and self-actualization. Letting go of the pain that uncertainty causes will promote a sense of freedom where taking risks, seizing opportunities, and living a more colorful and meaningful life is possible.