Escaping the Perfectionist Trap: 7 Signs and 7 Solutions

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Renaissance artist Michelangelo meticulously crafted one of his greatest sculptures, the masterpiece Florentine Pieta. But one day, he took a sledgehammer and chopped off its arms and legs. Why? He wanted the perfect sculpture.

Do you spend hours curating a document, blog post, email, or Instagram post? If so, there’s a good chance you might be a perfectionist.

While many self-applaud this trait, it can make you hard to live with, harder to work with, and even harder to work for. Recognizing perfectionistic tendencies is the first step towards regaining control.

7 Signs You’re a Perfectionist

Many of us hold ourselves to impossible standards. These impact our personal aspirations, commercial endeavors, or social relationships. Perfectionists tend to fear failure and can’t settle for "good enough."

Of course, there’s a spectrum. Adherence to high standards has turbocharged next-generation scientific advances and spectacular technological feats. Precision matters in engineering, aviation, and other safety-related industries.

But some measures of "perfection" are innately subjective and can sabotage careers and communities.

We recognize this phenomenon in our friends, family, and colleagues but perhaps less so in ourselves. Conider these seven telltale signs:

1. Unrealistic Standards. Do you constantly strive to live up to unrealistic expectations in all aspects of your life? It’s pervasive. Just as innovators want to develop the perfect prototype, parents want to raise perfect children. "If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word,” says Margaret Atwood, author of The Handmaid’s Tale.
2. Over-generalization. "I made a mistake once and always mess up.“ Tying your self-worth to external approval leads to a lifetime of self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. One mistake doesn't define you, your career, or your accomplishments. The world's number-one tennis player makes mistakes in every game but it's the bigger picture that counts.
3. Compulsive Behavior. Do you relentlessly refine endless versions of your work? Do you obsessively preen and clean? Compulsive behavior like reorganizing and rearranging are warning signs of perfectionism.
4. Catastrophic Thinking. Another telltale clue is when minor mistakes feel like major disasters. A verbal slip-up, typo, poor review, or bad haircut must keep its place in the universe. Any form of feedback is interpreted as inflated criticism and a balanced perspective gets lost.
5. Reassurance Seeking. The insecure perfectionist continuously seeks validation and others’ approval. Constantly seeking reassurance does not just hurt the individual, but is draining for the recipient. Over time, it often destroys valuable relationships.
6. Compliment Dismissal. Perfectionists struggle to accept compliments or celebrate accomplishments. They think, “It’s not my best but it’ll do.” They haven't matched the high standards exhibited by others. But confidence is often a con and a practiced art.
7. Excessive Procrastination. Procrastinators who delay starting or completing tasks are often closet perfectionists. Most people postpone dieting or saving, for example, because the time is never quite right.

The Price of Perfectionism

Unmanaged perfectionism exacts a high price. Most perfectionists operate in a perpetual state of self-induced misery, leading to distress, disappointment, and defensiveness. It also spreads stress, contaminating colleagues and clients. Excessive second-guessing makes everyone miserable.

Perfectionist leaders struggle to prioritize, tending to micromanage and ruminate without resolving dilemmas. This depletes productivity. Spending more time on your favorite project doesn’t necessarily improve the outcome—or others' appreciation of it.

Research shows that perfectionists also achieve fewer outcomes than high achievers. Why? Self-imposed pressure takes a toll on mental health, prompting chronic stress and burnout.

It also accelerates misjudgment. Cyclist Lance Armstrong denied taking drugs for two decades. When he admitted it, he blamed the need to be perfect.

How can you combat perfectionism and regain balance? Below, I identify seven behaviorally-informed strategies anyone can use.

Seven Hacks to Reduce Perfectionism

1. Set Smaller Goals. Find the middle ground between high performance and mediocrity. Break tasks into smaller steps, time-bound decisions, and focus on progress rather than ideal outcomes.
2. Broaden Perspective. Most situations don’t carry life-or-death outcomes. Question your standards and evaluate if they’re necessary. Adjust expectations to align with what matters. A broader perspective creates psychological distance from perceived failures.
3. Recalibrate What Matters. Recognize when you’ve reached a point of diminishing returns. Extra hours on a document, garden, or email must achieve proportionate impact.
4. Embrace Self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. Even experts get it wrong—doctors, negotiators, artists, and lawyers. Life scuppers most plans. Striving for the impossible is exhausting and a source of inevitable disappointment. Don’t wear perfectionism as a badge of honor; it’s just a ton of weight.
5. Automate Processes. Automate processes, habits, and routine tasks to reduce the risk of delays caused by indecision. (I outline several strategies to overcome indecision in my TEDX talk.)
6. Celebrate Progress. Acknowledge achievements, no matter how small. Recognize that progress comes from consistent effort, not from striving for the unattainable. Done is better than perfect.
7. Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking. Recognize the tendency to see things in extremes. Embrace being good enough and lower the benchmark. You should separate self-worth from performance.

There’s no need to smash your own sculpture. Remember: Perfectionism is an elusive standard.

Let go of the need for perfection, and make life easier for yourself and those around you. Three words matter: “It’s good enough.”

And there's no perfect time to begin.