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Key points
- Realizing what is and is not under our control (and accepting it) may help with uncertainty and chaos.
- Stress reduction techniques such as yoga, meditation, taking deep breaths, and sound healing may help.
- Individuals who grew up in chaotic families may experience more stress in times of uncertainty and chaos.
As I gazed out onto the mounds of boxes in the living room (preparation for a big housing move), I was struck by the unnerving chaos of it. How do we feel peace when our world is being shaken up?
It’s a question all of us face at some point in our lives; sometimes we are fighting chaos around us. What calms your nerves when the ground beneath you shakes? A cup of tea? Yoga? Deep breaths? Or maybe a tool that’s not quite as productive and healthy—a few glasses of wine or over-working, perhaps?
Finding an inner reserve of strength can also be a helpful part of the process and challenge. We may need to reach deep inside ourselves for something to grab onto when our earth is shaking.
Then There’s Uncertainty…Ugh
I don’t know about you, but being amidst chaos and uncertainty makes me a little nuts. And there’s been a fair amount of it for many of us recently. There’s a safety in knowing what to expect each day. But “life happens” and we grasp at whatever safety railing we can to steady ourselves.
Go with the flow? Much easier said than done. Do you need to be a New Age guru to find peace in the chaos? No. There are, however, steps we can take to gracefully find peace amidst seeming chaos and uncertainty, reducing our feelings of stress.
Going With the Flow of Life: Letting Go of Control
We hear many phrases about the importance of letting go: “Let it be”, “Let go and let God," etc. Trite sayings, perhaps, but there may be something to them.
Let’s face it. Letting go of control in our lives can be scary. We want to peak around the corner or over the fence to see what lies ahead to control it. It makes life more manageable and predictable.
When we were children, many of us felt a lack of control over our lives and our destinies. For those who grew up in chaotic or dysfunctional families, this need to control our lives as adults may be even more profound and felt even more strongly.
There’s a certain amount of faith in letting go of control. Faith may come in the form of a spiritual or religious belief, just a general belief that all will turn out alright, or even in an awe-inspiring natural moment gazing at a beautiful sunset. Faith may be challenging to maintain, though, when the next wave of chaos crashes down on us. A positive psychology model of well-being has even been proposed as the Faith-Hope-Love model that may help with stressful long-term situations.
Stress and Uncertainty
I’m not saying I have all the answers or that I don’t have stress. Stress has become far too common in Western society; we could even consider it a stress pandemic. But we can try to remember to slow down for a little while, take a few deep breaths, and utilize some stress reduction techniques.
Certain techniques may allow us to “go with the flow” with more ease and be gentler on ourselves. For instance, when I remember gratitude, it helps me live with more ease and grace; research has shown that gratitude may help improve well-being. And it allows us to get unstuck, to get out of the “woe is me” perspective. Remembering this when we are in the middle of our emotional stuff, though, can be a challenge.
Tools: Dealing with Uncertainty and Chaos
One goal, though, may be to find a belief or practice that gets us smoothly and safely through life’s ups and downs. Many have found yoga, meditation, and sound healing to assist in dealing more gently with the hills and valleys. While in the past these practices were considered too “out there” for many individuals, they have become much more accepted as a means of navigating the storms we encounter throughout our lives. In fact, there has been a great deal of research in these areas in recent years to support the use of these practices in lowering stress, as well as assisting with anxiety and depression.
Realizing and accepting the difference between what is under our control and what is not (such as in the Serenity Prayer in 12-Step programs) may be a helpful tool. Even for those who are agnostic or atheist, this philosophy may still be beneficial.
The first step is accepting what is—and is not—under our control. The second step (and this is the clincher) is to try to let it go: Let go of the worry and anxiety. Sometimes, merely the act of letting go of a situation that is out of our control can be extremely freeing. Whether one trusts this to a higher power, the universe, or just a faith that things turn out the way they’re supposed to can be a big sigh of relief. Ahhhh…
Speaking of sighs of relief, this may be another way to help us to let go of that which is out of our control. When you feel that anxiety over not knowing a situation’s outcome—whether it’s getting that job you really want, the dream house, a family situation, or even larger situations such as what’s happening with the country or the world—breathing is important. Stop and take at least three long, deep breaths. Take a few more long, deep breaths and let it go!
Perhaps trying a stress reduction technique, such as those listed above may help. Positive affirmations may also be helpful. Try an affirmation that all will turn out the way it’s supposed to, such as “I am filled with faith that all will be well for (fill in the situation)”.
Let’s get unstuck and try to find our inner peace. We can all use it.
