Why Existential Anxiety Is Not a Crisis

Redefining “Crisis”

I often hear from clients: “I’m having an existential crisis.” As flexible and creative as I try to be as a clinician, my response to this sentiment is often the same: “No, you are thinking existentially. And that is not a crisis.”

I respond this way not out of invalidation but rather out of normalization and humanization. Big questions—really big ones that do not have clear answers—tend to make us uncomfortable. As humans, we like to analyze, understand, connect the dots, and feel we have full comprehension of things. When we lack clear answers, our anxious minds have free reign to draw conclusions and come up with their own answers and explanations, which are sometimes less than soothing or reassuring.

The reality of existential anxiety is that it has been a part of our collective consciousness for the duration of our existence as humans. In Edgar Allan Poe’s famed 1845 poem “The Raven,” the tormented narrator asks, “Is there balm in Gilead?” Translation: Is there a cure-all that will heal and soothe the various pains of being human? This very question has been pondered in countless works of art and literature over the course of human history. This prevalence alone should remind us that existential questions are not only common but also acceptable. But society sometimes tells us otherwise, suggesting that these types of very human concerns are, actually, neurotic or depressive.

Normalizing Existential Concerns

Working to normalize these existential considerations can be helpful in fostering an embrace of uncomfortable questions rather than shame or avoidance of them. Society unhelpfully tells us to “look at the bright side” and to ignore uncertain yet commonly experienced parts of our existence. This messaging permeates our daily lives. The innocuous song “The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow” from the musical Annie, for instance, suggests that a cloudy or stormy day is best ignored and merely tolerated and that we should, instead, focus on the next sunny day. The implicit suggestion is that an uncomfortable present is less valuable than a comfortable future.

The work of normalizing human life might encourage us to embrace a cloudy day, to be present within it, and to resist the urge to just “push through it” until the sun returns. An existential and humanistic approach encourages us to sit with the clouds. The more we allow them, the less uncomfortable, threatening, and frightening they become.

The normalization of existential thoughts and concerns requires an understanding and acceptance of commonly expressed human sentiments. An incomplete list of the existential questions I have not only heard from clients but also asked myself follows.

• What happens when we die?
• What is the meaning of life?
• What is my purpose?
• Are we alone in the universe?
• What is the difference between “right” and “wrong”?
• Do we have free will?
• Why is there suffering in the world?
• What does it mean to be “happy”?

How Clinicians Can Validate Existential Thinking

The questions asked above, when met with compassion and acceptance, lose their power to make us uncomfortable and afraid. In his book Existential Psychotherapy, Irvin Yalom remarks that “life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is guide as well as enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient’s awareness and vitality.” A true humanistic therapy approach requires the therapist to:

• Encourage and embrace conversations about existential topics and concerns
• Help clients recognize that their concerns are commonly expressed
• Help clients destigmatize discomfort about existential concerns
• Work with clients to normalize existential thoughts rather than stigmatizing or pathologizing them
• Help clients embrace the unknown and become comfortable with unanswerable questions