Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Adverse Childhood Experiences

Valday/Pixabay

If you’re on the Psychology Today website, you probably have an interest in psychology and self-improvement. There are various reasons for this interest, but for some, it may be to try to make sense of adverse childhood experiences and/or a dysfunctional childhood.

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have been linked to adult stress, depressed mood, and overuse of alcohol and drugs, among other issues. If you are on the path of examining your adverse childhood experiences, I commend you for your courage. While it may be a rocky road, with the help of a qualified therapist or counselor, it can be rewarding in the long run.

Many will choose to check their ACE luggage at the gate and not pursue unpacking. But for those of us courageous enough to delve into past trauma, it can assist us in opening up to the complete range of human emotions, deepening our experience and appreciation of this life.

The Process of Unpacking

Unpacking adverse childhood experiences can be a journey. Many individuals with a history of ACEs may decide to carry around a steamer trunk their whole lives and never take the steps to release it. For others on this path, it may be a very gradual process of realization—not a conscious unpacking, but instead pulling out a smelly sock here and a dirty t-shirt there. They may lighten their load one musty shoe at a time and still haul fairly large baggage for many years.

Then there are a few who go all in to overturn and dump out the entire suitcase, initiating a deep cleansing process on the worn, stinky, ripped contents. For this extremely deep laundering process, it’s especially important that a professional ‘cleaner’—a qualified therapist or counselor – is called in, to not just spot-clean but to help sort out the laundry of painful experiences and feelings. This process will certainly not be a quick or easy one. It’s also important to have supportive loved ones who can help you through the washing, drying, and re-folding of the suitcase contents that have been lugged around for many years.

As time goes on and the process unfolds, some individuals may decide to switch to carry-on bags. They may decide to keep the emotional items that still hold value to them, storing the tattered clothing in an attic to gaze at only occasionally, and even discarding the old worn rags that no longer serve them in their lives. Others may even lighten their load more and need just a sturdy handbag to house the most important ways of being that they hold dear.

Monstera Production/Pexels

Self-Care

Whatever your unpacking journey, every time you unpack your burden slightly, please reward yourself in a healthy way. It may be a relaxing walk in nature, a cup of hot cocoa, yoga, a warm salt bath, or whatever soothes your soul—but treat yourself to a gentle self-care reward for bravely facing your experiences and feelings. Rest your shoulders from the load you’ve been carrying and treat yourself to a bit of self-care for having the courage to continue your healing process.

Being Triggered and Healing

Traumatic national and world events may also emotionally trigger you, so be extra kind and gentle with yourself and others at this time. Follow your inner guidance (with the help of a counselor), to help you gently unpack the past and move toward a future of emotional healing and well-being.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.