The Critical Importance of Self-Care for Women During COVID

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By Elissa R. Gross, Psy.D.

Two-thirds of caregivers in the United States are women. This includes those taking care of children, older adults, and/or disabled people. Many essential workers, such as nurses, social workers and other therapists, teachers, and childcare workers are women. Because the many caretaking roles that women perform have been on the rise during this pandemic due to school closures and changes in school schedules, reduced daycare and childcare options, and the need for many to work from home, women are at serious risk of becoming overwhelmed, overworked and totally burnt out.

As this pandemic continues, with the inherent uncertainty and major changes in daily routines and overall lifestyle, all of us are at a higher risk of becoming anxious, stressed, and/or depressed. It is important to be aware that feelings of fear, worry, anxiety, stress, and sadness are very normal responses to dealing with the ongoing pandemic and the many consequent changes to our lifestyles across the board. With that said, there are many steps that can be taken to lessen the negative impact of the pandemic on our physical and mental wellbeing.

Because many women are accustomed to “wearing many hats” at all times (e.g., mother, worker, caretaker, partner) oftentimes we do not prioritize our own physical and emotional wellbeing. In particular, during the pandemic, it is especially important that we women go the extra mile to take extra good care of ourselves, otherwise, we run the risk of becoming physically, mentally, and emotionally compromised.

The following are various tips and tools recommended for women during this very difficult time, in particular as we head into the winter months, with longer, darker, colder days, increased social isolation, and less time to be outside. To all of you women out there, take some time to read this list and commit to act each and every day. It is especially important that we encourage our fellow women to do the same!

• Let go of the notion that you must be a “superhero” to everyone. Acknowledge and accept that it’s ok not to be ok and to ask for help and support when you are feeling overwhelmed.
• Stop expecting absolute perfection in all that you do; during this time, many women have had to take on extra roles; for example, caring for and homeschooling children while also working from home themselves. It is so important to acknowledge that you are doing the best you can and to stop criticizing and beating up on yourself!
• Keep a list of the things that you accomplish each day, even the “tiny ones” like taking a shower, making the bed, and/or feeding the kids and pets! At the end of the day, review the list and remind yourself of the many things you accomplished each day. This can be very helpful at a time when multiple demands make it more likely that you will end the day feeling that you accomplished very little.
• Make sure to practice good basic self-care: Eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, try to spend some time exercising each day, disconnect from social media for periods of time throughout the day, and make it a point to connect with your friends and loved ones via phone or video.
• Try to stick to a daily routine; this will help you feel more in control of the things that you can control when the world is feeling so upside down.
• Schedule virtual dates with friends and family, even short check-ins every couple of days can be beneficial. Some women have been participating in book groups and watching movies and TV series via Netflix and then share!
• Try doing some breathwork or meditation. There are so many apps out there. Experiment with apps on your phone or computer to see what you like!
• Make sure to get a good night’s sleep every night. When you feel tired during the day, make sure to set aside even 5 or 10 minutes for yourself to sit and do nothing!
• Write in a journal. Journaling is a great way to record and spend time noticing and acknowledging your feelings. Taking some time to write morning, noon and/or night can be a great way to decompress even if there is no one available to talk to.
• Try your best to fit in some physical activity each day; this could include a socially distant walk with friends, or simply putting on your headphones, listening to your favorite playlist or podcast, and getting outside for some fresh air and a brisk walk. If you can’t get outside, take advantage of apps and different YouTube videos offering short workouts and activities like yoga and stretching.
• Learn to meditate.
• Write down a list of the things you usually enjoy doing and do your best to fit in at least one enjoyable activity, even if only for 5 or 10 minutes a day. Activities can include things like coloring, browsing through magazines, working on a jigsaw puzzle, watching some funny or uplifting YouTube videos, reading inspirational material, and trying out new recipes.
• Pay careful attention to your mood and stress level; if you feel that you are struggling, reach out for support. Online forums, teletherapy, and talking with friends about how you are feeling are great ways to get additional support when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Dr. Elissa R. Gross, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of children, adolescents, and adults experiencing depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-injury, post-traumatic stress disorders, couples therapy, family therapy, and issues related to adoption and blended families.