The Most Extroverted Time of the Year

Heeeeere we go.

We're about to step on the thrill ride that is the holiday season.No telling what it will be like this year, what with so many of us being broke and worried and all. Maybe it will be a low-key holiday season. (Although not for retailers, whose desperate bids for our attention started the day after Halloween.) Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing, ratcheting down the whole business. The stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day is traditionally the most extroverted time of the year. Maybe this year it will be more of an introverted holiday season, a quality over quantity season, a soulful rather than chattering season.

Even so, chances are good it will involve a lot of things that drain psychic energy for introverts, like parties and house guests and days and days of togetherness.

Too much togetherness? A shopping cart can be your getaway car. Photo by morning theft via Flickr (Creative Commons).

We've talked about getting through parties in Party Survival Tactics for Introverts, and about how to leave when we've had enough in There Must Be 50 Ways to Leave a Party. We asserted our right to alone time in We Gotta Fight For Our Right Not to Party, thought about how to weigh invitations in Solitude vs. Socializing, When to Say Yes, When to Say No. Many of you say that family and friends don't respect your need for space, or try to guilt you into social events you'd rather skip. I tried to address that in Plug Energy Drains With These Magic Words, though I know deflecting the pressure is easier said than done.

Family is often the toughest. Sure, you love them, but they sometimes think they know you better than you know yourself, and they don't always edit what they say. After all, you're family! If they don't tell you (for your own good), who will?

Still, pushing back can be a lot of trouble when you just want a little head space without a big scene. For those times, here are some ideas for activities that might get you a little peace even if you're still surrounded by people.

Hide in plain sight: A crowd can take the pressure off the individual. On a group excursion to a mall or shopping district, while everyone else is distracted by shiny things, you can wander off between clothing racks or bookshelves, retreat into a dressing room, or duck into a shop (make mysterious references to gifts) for some alone time.

Sit in a dark room: Take the kids (or the parents, for that matter) to a movie. Let them pick the movie so they get absorbed and pipe down. You can watch the movie, or go to the happy-quiet place in your head for a couple of hours.

Make a "sacrifice": Volunteer for supermarket duty. Think about it: you can stroll up and down the aisles, sing along with the piped-in music (Christmas carols, I presume), commune with nothing more demanding than Brussels sprouts and canned pumpkin. If you can go late at night or early in the morning, when the store is empty, even better. And you can sell it as a noble gesture. The longer the shopping list, the better. Also good: raking leaves, washing dishes, or other chores. Even taking out the garbage can buy you a few minutes.

Have a project: I'm a fan of jigsaw puzzles during long stretches of house time with others. Set it up on a table and there it sits, for days, where anyone can work it when the mood strikes. Sit at the table and you can be in the middle of everything, but focused on the puzzle, which never natters or nags. And this kind of activity, because it requires some concentration, can sometimes quiet even chatterboxes if they get pulled in to it.

Got any other ideas?

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