Life After 50

Guilt

The Difference Between Guilt and Regret

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on January 11, 2025

Regret is when you wish you had done something different, but you do not necessarily feel bad about yourself as a result.

Regret is when you wish you had done something different, but you do not necessarily feel bad about yourself as a result.

Family Dynamics

Childhood Patterns With Siblings

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on September 22, 2024

If parents are not emotionally available, sibling bonds are based on trying to get basic needs met or are the result of needs not being met.

If parents are not emotionally available, sibling bonds are based on trying to get basic needs met or are the result of needs not being met.

Therapy

Psychotherapy by Phone

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on May 23, 2024

Speaking on the phone can make it easier to talk about difficult subjects and may feel more intimate than even in-person treatment. But there are drawbacks.

Speaking on the phone can make it easier to talk about difficult subjects and may feel more intimate than even in-person treatment. But there are drawbacks.

Guilt

Overcoming Irrational Guilt

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on April 1, 2024

The movie "One Life" is about irrational guilt and the difficulty of forgiving oneself for something one has no control over.

The movie "One Life" is about irrational guilt and the difficulty of forgiving oneself for something one has no control over.

Transference

What Is Negative Transference?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on March 15, 2024

Melanie Klein’s concept of envy may be the single-most important contribution to our understanding of negative transference.

Melanie Klein’s concept of envy may be the single-most important contribution to our understanding of negative transference.

Addiction

Do Adults Need Security Blankets?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on June 19, 2023

The concept of "transitional object" is useful in understanding the seemingly inexplicable attachment that some adults have to things.

The concept of "transitional object" is useful in understanding the seemingly inexplicable attachment that some adults have to things.

Alcoholism

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on March 25, 2023

Adult temper tantrums are not necessarily physical, but they can still turn into abuse.

Adult temper tantrums are not necessarily physical, but they can still turn into abuse.

Guilt

The Portrayal of Mourning and Melancholia in “Drive My Car"

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on February 24, 2023

Ryûsuke Hamaguchi’s film “Drive My Car” teases out the implications of how Yusuke and Misaki have coped with tragedy.

Ryûsuke Hamaguchi’s film “Drive My Car” teases out the implications of how Yusuke and Misaki have coped with tragedy.

Narcissism

"The Menu" and the Narcissism of High-End Dining

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on January 10, 2023

As brutally demonstrated in "The Menu," high-end chefs often become dissociated from the pleasure of eating.

As brutally demonstrated in "The Menu," high-end chefs often become dissociated from the pleasure of eating.

Education

Do You Avoid Learning New Things?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on December 8, 2022

A Personal Perspective: For some people, the novice period is intolerable because they experience it as a hit to their egos. It destabilizes their sense of self.

A Personal Perspective: For some people, the novice period is intolerable because they experience it as a hit to their egos. It destabilizes their sense of self.

Career

Do You Repeat Patterns That Don't Work?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on November 22, 2022

Many of us have blind spots in love based on our early relationships.

Many of us have blind spots in love based on our early relationships.

Marriage

Psychological Considerations in Writing a Will

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on October 15, 2022

Are you thinking about writing a will? It's not just about your assets.

Are you thinking about writing a will? It's not just about your assets.

Trust

Collective vs. Individual Mistrust

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on September 27, 2022

Is the mistrust of the government a reflection of a widespread individual problem with basic trust?

Is the mistrust of the government a reflection of a widespread individual problem with basic trust?

Attention

What Does It Mean to Feel Like You Have Nothing to Say?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on August 24, 2022

Patients in psychotherapy often feel they have nothing to say. But there is usually a lot to say about it.

Patients in psychotherapy often feel they have nothing to say. But there is usually a lot to say about it.

Relationships

Living With Ambivalence About People You Love

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on July 27, 2022

Does feeling ambivalent about people you love make you feel guilty? Ambivalence is unavoidable. Not being able to tolerate it is a problem.

Does feeling ambivalent about people you love make you feel guilty? Ambivalence is unavoidable. Not being able to tolerate it is a problem.

Trauma

What Is Acting Out?

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on June 16, 2022

Repetitive acting out can be an attempt to master a traumatic experience or to maintain a fragile sense of self that is based on identifying as a victim.

Repetitive acting out can be an attempt to master a traumatic experience or to maintain a fragile sense of self that is based on identifying as a victim.

Relationships

Why We Repeat Painful Patterns in Relationships

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on May 25, 2022

Destructive patterns in relationships can be explained in various ways but they all need to be identified with insight and worked through.

Destructive patterns in relationships can be explained in various ways but they all need to be identified with insight and worked through.

Forgiveness

Making Up After an Argument

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on April 23, 2022

The capacity to work through and resolve conflicts, rather than ignore or only partially work through them, is at the heart of safety and security in a relationship.

The capacity to work through and resolve conflicts, rather than ignore or only partially work through them, is at the heart of safety and security in a relationship.

Anger

Feelings vs. Actions

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on March 26, 2022

A Personal Perspective: Do you feel guilty, as if your feelings were actions?

A Personal Perspective: Do you feel guilty, as if your feelings were actions?

Narcissism

Narcissism and Self-Righteousness

Roberta Satow Ph.D. on February 1, 2022

The self-righteous narcissist derives his narcissistic validation and supply by maintaining himself as a morally superior person or a hero.

The self-righteous narcissist derives his narcissistic validation and supply by maintaining himself as a morally superior person or a hero.