(Un)comfortably Numb: 5 Ways to Alleviate Emotional Numbing

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It’s an all-too-familiar phenomenon. Your favorite actor, singer, or musician just passed, perhaps in their fifties or early sixties. Or you just found out that someone you know, perhaps younger than yourself who was especially full of joy and zest for life and you did not know was even ill, has died of cancer. Or a news update reminds you that armed conflict continues to take the lives of thousands of children around the globe.

With the rapidity of news delivered via social media platforms on our devices, we may be alerted to events such as these several times a week, or even daily. Recently, I have noted friends’ reactions to such events include profound sadness, distress, and disbelief, but also numbness. What does emotional numbness look like, and what might it say about our health and status?

Defining emotional numbness

Also referred to as affective blunting, emotional numbing has been described as feeling flat, and disconnected from the world around us. Numbness is often associated with post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety (Duek et al., 2023), but can co-occur with other conditions or even be a side effect of medication, such as (ironically) some anti-depressants. Being numb can make it difficult to connect with others, which can lead to isolation and disaffection.

Short-term, emotionally numbing can be beneficial in that it helps calm us down when we feel stressed and overwhelmed. It has been likened to the sympathetic nervous system saying "Hold up! That's enough for now" and giving us a little break. However, in the long term, one can begin to “zone out” so frequently or for increasingly longer periods of time that one becomes detached and apathetic. This can reach the point where one loses interest in activities that once gave you pleasure or enjoyment. For example, someone who loves music—listening to it or playing it—might “forget” to include music in their day for weeks or months, or someone who really enjoys exercising might stop doing it. Cessation of these healthy activities translates to a reduction in self-care, and elimination of the things that make us who we are.

5 things to do to address emotional numbness

Numbness can sneak up on us and elude our detection, because awareness of a typically unconscious process is hard to come by. But by engaging in self-reflective processes, such as daily journaling, yoga, and meditation, we might realize or intuit when we are showing signs of being numb. When something very sad, even tragic, happens, and you’re not choked up or do not feel tears welling in your eyes, you might then realize it’s been some time (i.e., months or years) since you cried. But assuming you have become aware of numbness, here are some things you can do.

1. Get regular exercise. Moderate physical exercise five days a week is recommended by the CDC, and it is a great way to "unfreeze" yourself and get sweat and neurochemicals like enkephalin flowing.

2. Talk to someone whom you trust. Disclosing how you have been feeling (and not feeling) lately to someone who has your back is another thing you can do. Connecting with another person fights the loneliness and separateness you may be feeling and replaces it with “bonding”. Pick someone who really “gets” you.

3. Sleep 7-8 hours per night. Our minds and bodies need plenty of rest, so this might sound like a no-brainer and easy but often it’s not. Avoid bright screens for at least an hour before you intend to sleep. Read a book, engage in conscious intentional breathing, and try to keep regular sleep hours so it’s easier to transition to it.

4. Centering and grounding techniques (or 2-5 minute self-care breaks). A little bit of time several times a day goes a long way toward self-care. Listen to a favorite tune, engage in deep breathing exercises, enjoy making yourself a cup of coffee or tea, attend a yoga class, listen to a calming sound on a meditation app, or more radically, scream in your car to reset (when no one can see you or hear you; who wants to get pulled over for road rage?). Make time, whether it’s 3 minutes, 30 minutes, or 60 minutes, for you by carving it out of your incredibly busy schedule. Because you’re worth it.

5. See a therapist. Severe loss and trauma can precipitate numbing as a form of temporary self-protection, and this is understandable. You can find a therapist here in the Psychology Today Therapy Directory. Check out the options and see who you think might be a good fit.

Emotional numbing, once we realize it’s happening, is something we can remedy with courage and consistent effort. This commitment to feeling deeply again is worthwhile, as it is a part of our being fully human.