The Importance of Empathy and Humility in Leadership

Nearly everyone has seen the clip by now. Football star Travis Kelce was captured angrily confronting his head coach, Andy Reid, during the Super Bowl. The verbal intensity of Kelce’s dissatisfaction was punctuated with minor physical contact as Kelce sought to get Reid’s attention. A lot has already been said about the moment, mostly around the appropriateness of Kelce’s actions. However, the most important lesson comes not from Kelce’s actions but from Reid’s; everyone in leadership would be wise to learn from it.

Emotional Work Leads to Emotional Teams

I have spent my career in animal shelters and like the big game, working with people and pets is intensely emotional. The staff members at animal shelters deal with literal life-and-death decisions every day. It is not uncommon for a shelter worker to go from the high of placing a long-term resident into a new home to the low of euthanizing another long-term resident on the same day. The emotional whiplash of such work is jarring and can lead to moments like what we witnessed between Travis Kelce and Andy Reid.

When Kelce confronted Reid, the coach could have handled the situation differently. Few people would have blamed Coach Reid if he had gotten right back in Kelce’s face and demanded to be shown the “respect” his position “deserves.” He could have been embarrassed by the very public assault on his “authority” and felt compelled to act to preserve it. After the game, Reid could have shamed Kelce, leveled a fine, or enacted another punishment to show his “strength.”

However, Coach Reid did none of these things. Instead, he took the strongest leadership action possible: He did nothing (and won the game while preserving the relationship with a key employee).

Leadership Means Support

Strong leadership in animal welfare (and everywhere else) means emotionally supporting your staff and volunteers even when you are the (temporary) target of their frustration. In this work, leaders will encounter frustrated staff at their wit’s end. It is unavoidable, but how they handle them can be the difference between a vibrant, lifesaving organization and a dysfunctional mess.

Effective leadership requires humility and the understanding that every job, even the leader’s, is just one of many that keep things moving forward. Empathy and compassion for the pets in their care, the people they serve, and the staff they supervise must be the driving force behind the leader's management decisions.

Balance Is Key

Should Travis Kelce have grabbed Coach Reid and raised his voice at him? No, of course not. Considering the situation (the Super Bowl!), was Kelce’s behavior understandable? Yes. While it is essential to have and enforce standards of behavior (such as no yelling or grabbing), leaders must understand the power of letting those standards temporarily slip and becoming a willing sponge for their team member’s catharsis.

That said, it is just as important that leaders follow up after things have cooled down. Team members should be held accountable for actions, but that accountability doesn’t always have to come with force or immediacy (or publicity). When such a confrontation happens, it may be important to reinforce an organization’s culture of respect and to gently remind everyone of the proper way to handle their grievances. Walking that fine line enables leaders to build trust with their team while avoiding promoting a culture of confrontation.

Every leader can learn from the Kelce-Reid situation that effective leadership is not about exerting authority or demanding respect but rather displaying empathy, humility, and compassion. These qualities are even more important in animal welfare, healthcare, and public service.

Don't Go It Alone

Serving as an emotional keystone for a group of others is exhausting and isolating. Thankfully, most sectors have leadership groups and forums, so you do not have to go it alone. Seeking advice and support from others going through the same challenges is key to self-care and avoiding burnout.