Moms Matter More Than Memes

Body image is a wildly popular topic these days. Undoubtedly, there is a lot of advice out there, whether for you or your daughter. Everyone has weighed in on this topic (pardon the pun), from celebrities to influencers to experts ranging from dietitians to physicians.

You will probably not find it surprising that women maintain a high rate of body dissatisfaction throughout adulthood (Runfola et al., 2013). But did you realize that body dissatisfaction generally begins in childhood (Paxton & Damiano, 2017)? As developmental and social psychologists, we have come together to write the first research-based book (forthcoming from American Psychological Association Books) that considers moms and daughters as allies in healthy body image development and tailors guidance to girls’ developmental levels. When it comes to raising a daughter with a healthy body image, the science shows that moms matter most; they are the ultimate “influencers.” Moms matter not just in how they parent their daughters but in how they see themselves and what they say and do in front of their daughters. In short, moms who hope to instill healthy body image development in their girls will be most effective when they have first carefully examined their own body image.

Where and how do we begin? Three themes guide our approach:

Moms, Not Memes

You have likely come across tidbits of advice in memes, such as “Be a role model for your daughter,” “Love yourself,” “Reject diet culture,” or “Embrace body positivity.” These all sound sensible and, on the surface, helpful, but they often do not provide enough information to take action, and do not consider individual circumstances.

It takes much more than a meme – it instead requires targeted, long-term effort – to build a healthy body image. Like you, we believe in helping girls have the healthiest view of themselves. To do this, consider some important factors: your body image and how it impacts your daughter's body image, your daughter’s age and developmental milestones, and the unique aspects of the mom-daughter relationship that are important for body image development.

Science, Not Stories

Recent CDC reports revealed that many parents use social media as a major source of health information. Although there is a lot of good information at our fingertips, it is important to be able to tell the difference between science-based facts and narratives, personal opinions, and downright misinformation, which are rampant on social media. Body-image problems have serious consequences, and you have limited time to sort through all of the sources out there. We will try to unpack evidence-based tips for healthy body image in a manageable, understandable way.

Development, Not Damage Control

Although it is never too late to partner with your daughter for a healthy body image, an early start is ideal. We want to build a healthy body image as girls develop in preschool and onward rather than try to “fix” body image problems that are too often only recognized in preadolescence or adolescence. As psychologist Jean Twenge recently noted, adolescence presents a perfect storm in which body image issues become difficult to address. We suggest putting the focus uniquely on body image development in 3-to-10-year-old girls, based on what we know about body image in the context of physical, social, and cognitive developmental milestones.

Science has shown that most women live with body dissatisfaction throughout much of their lives (Runfola et al., 2013), but we do not have to accept this outcome for our daughters. We have the science-based tools to improve this pattern for future generations of girls.