Is Happiness a Goal or a Journey?

Happiness is defined as a condition of long-lasting fulfilment and joy, in which the individual feels positive about their life and has found a meaning to their existence. Beyond this definition though, happiness is hardly experienced as a stable or permanent state in real life. This is the reason why people are – oftentimes – convinced that they will find happiness once they achieve a key milestone, either in their career or in personal life.

Let us think about it. On a weekly basis, this is something we all do. For many of us, Sunday is the surrogate of the closest goal we desperately wish to achieve. We work the whole week waiting for this day. On Sunday, we will finally have some rest and find happiness. But when Sunday comes, we are troubled because on Monday, we will have to get to work again. This feeling is so pervading that it has been vulgarly called “Sunday Blues."

But can we break this vicious and apparently inevitable cycle?

According to the Italian writer and poet Giacomo Leopardi, the happiest moment of the week is the evening of the day that anticipates the festive day. In his poem Il sabato del villaggio (Translated: Saturday night in the village), at nightfall, the inhabitants of a small rural village dream of the next day: A feast will take place in the main square and all of them will participate. While the young lady walks light-hearted, the old lady remembers her youth. The carpenter works more vigorously and tenaciously because he will soon have time to rest. But when the festive day comes, the inhabitants of the small rural village return to think about their usual job. Although it may seem like a paradox, Leopardi is telling us that people are happy when they wait for their happiness to come. We will get back to this in a while.

In his poem Felicità raggiunta (Translated: Happiness attained), Eugenio Montale — another Italian poet — describes happiness as a fading condition that once attained, immediately vanishes. In his words, we are like kids with their coloured balloons: the happiest creatures on Earth. But the balloons will soon slip through our weak fingers and disappear into the sky.

At this point, everything seems to suggest that happiness is just a fantasy that reveals its illusory nature precisely when humans embrace it. But what if, instead, Giacomo Leopardi and Eugenio Montale were trying to tell us that we are seeking for happiness in the wrong place?

People are happy when they wait for their happiness to come. Happiness can be found in the journey required to achieve happiness itself. Instead of picturing happiness as a final, fixed goal to be achieved, we should rather picture it as the force that drives us towards the goal.

To explain this distinction, psychologists differentiate between extrinsic values and intrinsic values. Examples of the former ones are obtaining a promotion or finding the perfect relationship, becoming famous or rich. Even the aforementioned desire for Sunday can be pictured as an external goal. Examples of the latter ones are obtaining personal development or a sense of belonging. Intriguingly, extensive literature shows that when individuals are focused on the achievement of external goals, they drastically lose interest in the intrinsic activities they perform to pursue such goals. While extrinsic values are processed as immobile, discreet checkpoints over a lifetime, intrinsic values are lived as dynamic experiences that can elongate the duration of associated emotions and feelings, including happiness.

There is more to say. Doubtless, the attainment of an external goal, such as a career promotion, can generate a flush of happiness. However, this hardly lasts over time. People tend to emotionally adapt to their new standards, no longer experiencing the initial improvements in their emotional state. This could prompt them to immediately set higher standards to acquire a new sensation of happiness, establishing a frustrating vicious cycle.

That said, all this evidence should not convince us that an equilibrated and healthy goal-oriented lifestyle is deleterious. Goal-setting represents a useful strategy to stimulate behaviour change, to explore new directions and ultimately satisfy needs that are in accordance to personal interests and values.

It is therefore essential to find a good balance between extrinsic goals and intrinsic pleasure.

In other words, pursuing external goals could represent a valuable chance to explore multiple and novel intrinsic values and activities. For instance, recent findings suggest that engaging with social activities that promote interpersonal equilibrium and positive connection with others are good ways to find happiness because they increase individuals' well-being.

Happiness Essential Reads

How to Cultivate a Sense of Purpose

3 Ideas from Aristotle on How to Build a Good Life

Giacomo Leopardi would probably tell us that what matters is not attaining happiness, but rather finding happy strategies to attain it.