Verified by 
All of us can get anxious at work, for example, if we have an upcoming performance review by an unreasonable boss.
But some people are anxious too much of the time, and the anxiety doesn’t dissipate when they enter the workplace door. If that sounds like you, might any of these help?
If your anxiety is generalized, that is, even many little things worry you more than they would other people, you may want to accept that it's part of your makeup, just like any other handicap. We all have one or more, whether bad looks or low intelligence, a physical disease or psychological problem. Even if you do the standard anxiety reducers: exercise, deep breathing, you’ll still be more anxious than are most people. It's okay. Plenty of anxious people do well at work and in personal life. Candidly, I've seen more worrywarts do well than do kick-back types.
If you’re anxious about something specific, there’s a tendency to avoid thinking about that painful subject. Instead, try to do the obviously correct thing: make yourself think about what, if anything, you can do about it. Then make yourself take baby steps to get started.
For example, if you fear getting fired or "laid off" it\s tempting not to think about it rather than asking yourself the question: If you were the boss would you fire you?" If so, should you accept that as immutable or work on your hard or soft skills, attitude, play office politics more? Obviously not thinking about it is a short-term pleasure. But at the risk of sounding like your mother, life success requires learning to choose short-term uncomfortability when it's likely to yield greater long-term benefit.
Another example, let’s say you have to give a talk at a meeting and are afraid you’ll sound stupid. Anxious people tend to avoid thinking about it until the last minute so they can spend less time worrying. Of course, that, rather than starting to practice early, increases the risk of the fear coming true.
Sometimes you can reduce a specific worry by changing your erroneous thinking. Let’s say you’re afraid to reach out to people for career connections, romance, whatever. You could harbor that fear for a number of reasons:
- If you fear rejection, remind yourself that you can survive lots of rejections; it just means you haven’t yet found the right person—We’re kind of like a musical note, we harmonize only with a small percentage of other notes.
- If you fear imposing, remind yourself that you’re willing to impose on a stranger when asking for directions. In asking a networking contact for information or a job lead, you’re imposing no more. If they don’t want to give you more than a few seconds, they can say so, and if they choose to give you more, it’s their choice. Many people like to help others.
- If you’re afraid of being embarrassed, use that fear to motivate you to practice, perhaps first by scripting it, reducing it to a few-word outline, then attempting it by yourself, talking into your webcam or phone’s voice recorder, or with a friend. If you do end up sounding bad and are embarrassed, it helps to remember, of course, that you’ll have chances with other people. (Tip: Try out your pitch on your least-desired contacts first so you work out the kinks before trying your prime prospects.)
Remember, you can survive having screwed up. As your parent told you when you were learning to ride a bike and fell off, to avoid fear building up and to ensure you get better, you gotta get right back on the bike.
If there’s nothing you can or want to do about your fear, realize that your anxiety is just a thought and can be banished. Say “stop” to yourself and distract yourself to something constructive.
It may, and I repeat may, help to ongoing remind yourself to have perspective: How important is this to me or other people, now? A week from now? Sometimes, I calm myself by telling myself “You’re worried about a first-world problem. Have perspective.” It may also be calming to remember that even surgeons make mistakes, life-and-death mistakes, yet they sally on knowing that if they let fear get the best of them, they’ll quit and thus help fewer people. Most likely, the mistakes you fear making won’t kill anyone.
Psychotherapy can sometimes help, whether the cognitive-behavioral or the childhood-rooted kind. For example, your parents called you stupid and you can’t get over it, so you’re anxious every time you’re given a cognitively difficult task. A gifted therapist could help you move forward from that.
To the extent any of the above works or doesn’t, try not to worry about being a worrier—as mentioned, plenty of anxious people do okay, even a lot better than okay. Indeed, within limits, worry can motivate you to try to be your best, more so than are many super-confident people. I like to think that in my own life, being a worrier has been a net plus.
