5 Ways to Show Up for a Friend in Treatment

I remember answering the phone from the adolescent unit of the psych ward. My grandma. Great. I didn't want her to know I was here. Would she think differently of me now? But I was glad to hear from her. She offered to bring in her chihuahua (I love dogs), but thought better of it, saying, "Oh, right, your mom said they don't let us keep our purses if we visit." I smiled just a bit.

Unfortunately, not everyone has this experience in hospital or treatment. For some, no one visits. Others, like me at that time, feel ashamed.

As a culture, we know how to rally around each other. We send kind cards and bring each other casseroles. We celebrate graduations and sports wins. We text each other encouraging words before a job interview. But how do we support each other when we need inpatient treatment for a mental health condition or addiction?

In support communities, these are sometimes called "no casserole" conditions. There isn't as much of an outline of how to band around someone dealing with mental illness or addiction. Some folks even bow out due to not knowing how to bow in.

With misunderstandings surrounding mental health, often those struggling are more apt to keep their journeys through mental health treatment quieter than other difficult times.

Yet, the reality is that companionship and warmth are often appreciated in these times. Indeed, support from others can be key to a person's recovery. So, these are five ways you can support someone going through an inpatient stay.

1. Be You

Treat your friend with the same genuine you-ness that you always have. This kind of strong presence can mean a lot. Sometimes people worry about being treated differently if others know of their struggles. Just being yourself is a small and powerful way to deny this fear.

2. Respect Space

If your friend is in a residential treatment or hospital setting, they may need some time to reflect. Group and individual therapy can be heavy, as can the realizations that spring forth. Your friend might only be allowed phone calls during certain times and may or may not want to talk.

3. Offer Practical Things

Especially if your friend's treatment stay was unplanned, there may be practical things they would appreciate assistance with. Things like feeding their cat or bringing them non-hospital shampoo are gestures that can go a long way.

4. Show Regard for Your Friend Taking This Time

Taking days to weeks or months out of your life to focus on your healing is no small thing. It is something to be applauded. Yet, your friend might not feel that way. Your friend might be experiencing some shame or sensitivities around this. Show your friend that you value them and their willingness to get help.

5. Ask Your Friend How You Can Be There for Them in Their Recovery

In time, your friend will be released from treatment and return to the community. The first few weeks after an inpatient stay can be a vulnerable time. You might check in with your friend in those early days. If your friend is in addiction or eating disorder recovery, there might be subtle things you can do, like choosing new, sober, fun spots to check out on the weekend or sharing meals. Asking your friend how you can show up for them demonstrates that you care about their wellness.