To Raise Happy Puppies, Spare the Rods

Source: Mihaela Pastiu Pexels

Demystifying dogs depends on knowing what makes them tick and what they're feeling. In Dogs Demystified: An A-to-Z Guide to All Things Canine, you can read about what puppies and all dogs want and need. This will help you become fluent in dogs and allow you to develop and maintain a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship, in which there's give and take, and you and your dog are able to ask what you and they would like and hopefully agree with one another as much as possible.

Taking a dog of any age into your home and heart is a huge decision. It’s truly a life-changer, even if you’ve lived with a dog or are bringing in a second one. However, it’s not necessarily twice the fun but an older dog could be a good role model for a newcomer.

Puppies Bring Joy

On the other hand, a puppy can bring joy if your daily schedule allows and you can afford to do it, what with added costs for toys, puppy training, food, and veterinary care, along with more demands for spending high-quality time with them and allowing them to meet other puppies, other dogs, and other people on walks—always keeping in mind their walk and playtime is for them, not you—or at dog parks or at other areas where dogs gather, then there’s no reason not to bring home a puppy. Just be ready for new “demands” in your life.

Because young dogs are unique individuals, tailor your positivity to match their personalities and freely praise and love, so you can teach them what you would like them to do and be sure they agree with what you're asking of them. Of course, there will be situations where you ask them to do something that they don’t want to do. It’s unsafe or “human-inappropriate” for them to do something like mounting or humping or sticking their noses into human “private areas.”

An important rule of thumb is that it’s always essential to use positive, do-no-harm force-free methods to educate them; science shows these work the best. The more you try to get their consent and to give them choices with which they agree, the happier they will be. This positive state of mind will have long-term benefits for you and for them as you develop a strong, mutually respectful, ongoing relationship in which there is as much give-and-take as possible.

Choice, Consent, and Context

The importance of choice (agency), consent, and context appears all over the place in the daily life of a puppy and in their relationships with humans and other dogs. Giving them room to tell you what they want and need will make it easier for you to coexist with your dog in mutually respectful ways. Puppies also like consistency and calmness. These "5-C's—choice, consent, context, consistency, and calmness work for all dogs.

Dog-human relationships require give-and-take and constant negotiations that might favor a dog or favor a human, depending on what is happening at any given moment. We must strive for ongoing balanced relationships, as symmetrical as possible. Isn't that what living with a dog should be all about? Mutual respect and trust begin early in puppyhood.

The Ten Freedoms: Enriching a Puppy's Life

Like all animals, puppies and dogs need the following freedoms. The more freedoms they have, the happier they will be.

1. Freedom from hunger and thirst

2. Freedom from pain

3. Freedom from discomfort

4. Freedom from fear and distress

5. Freedom from avoidable or treatable illness and disability

6. Freedom to be themselves

7. Freedom to express normal behavior

8. Freedom to exercise choice and control

9. Freedom to frolic and have fun

10. Freedom to have privacy and “safe zones”

Granting the freedom to be a fun-loving puppy is critical. Most, but not all puppies love to play; if they do, let them play to their heart’s content. If they don’t, there’s not necessarily something wrong with them, but it might be a good idea to find out why they don’t like to play and see if you can teach them to do so with user-friendly dogs and people.

Play to Learn

Play is important for learning social skills (socialization), physical training (developing joints, muscles, tendons, and bones), cognitive training (how hard they can bite or slam into another dog, how high a rock they can jump onto or jump down from), and learning how to deal with unexpected situations they surely will encounter. Giving puppies extra socialization can also be beneficial and it surely won't hurt them.

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Play is also lots of fun, and there’s no reason why “having fun” isn’t one of the main reasons why puppies like to play and why it evolved in the first place. Just watch puppies zooming here and there as if they’re going crazy. They do so because it’s tons of fun.

Puppies also learn to play fairly and follow the ”golden rules” of play—asking first, minding their manners, admitting when they're wrong, and being honest—which is critical for making friends and maintaining long-term friendships. Cheaters often have trouble getting other dogs (or humans) to play with them. They’re often avoided or ignored. Why play with another dog if they might not play fair?

A Culture of Abundant Sharing and Mutual Respect: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Dog

Living with a puppy can bring a lot of joy to everyone involved. All in all, puppies want and need to feel safe and free to come to you for help, safety, and love. They're not inherently our best friends or unconditional lovers, and we need to earn their trust by making them feel safe and loved, displaying empathy by sharing their feelings, and allowing them to be puppies as much as possible. How could you not enjoy and love watching young dogs being young dogs with few if any responsibilities other than being young dogs?

I don't think it's possible to spoil a puppy—we're their lifeline—but if we don't pay careful attention to what they're asking of us because we're not fluent with a dog, or don't pay careful attention to what is happening to them in different situations, it can be all too easy to ignore what they want and need. This can have long-term negative consequences for them and consequently for us.

When we do all we can to give them a great life and they know they can depend on us to offer fun-filled, enriched opportunities to do what they love to do—despite how much it might challenge and bug us from time to time—it’s a positive for all, even with all of the ups and downs of trying to live with one another.