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“Too often we idolize a ‘middle’ stance as more rational, more fair, more loving. We wear it as its own kind of moral superiority. But virtue is not synonymous with neutrality. Sometimes integrity demands a choice.”—Cole Arthur Riley, Black Liturgies
Increasing global tensions and the imminent 2024 US presidential election are prompting significant inquiries into our psychological well-being. The unending flow and access to information; the barrage of strong opinions on social media; and the rapidly changing landscape of geopolitical news can be overwhelming. Because of this, we may have heightened emotions, fear, and worry. It’s no wonder many have opted for a seemingly safe and neutral stance, acknowledging the complexity of a given situation but refraining from expressing a clear opinion. In this heated climate, people hesitate to take a stand so that they can minimize the risks of being ostracized, canceled, and misunderstood. Aligning with the “wrong” side can feel like a significant threat to our identity. Neutrality feels like a safe option.
But is neutrality an effective strategy for psychological well-being? While it can temporarily defend against the threats to our identities, taking a neutral stance is often psychologically incongruent. Psychological congruence is defined as living in alignment with one’s values. Congruence boosts psychological well-being and is associated with greater life satisfaction. Incongruence is not living according to one’s values. When people avoid taking a stand only to protect against the fear of being wrong, they are acting incongruently. Taking a stand for what you really believe in would be psychologically congruent, even (and especially) when taking a stand is scary.
At its core, taking a stand is a moral issue. When people categorize issues as amoral, they have more freedom from worry and anxiety. Examples of amoral issues are choosing your fruit for lunch, designing your bedtime routine, or deciding whether or not to own a pet. These choices have few repercussions and do not appear to define our moral standing. On the other hand, the more we associate morality with an issue, the less freedom we have from anxiety and worry about that issue. There are real repercussions for choosing what others might perceive as the “wrong” side, for example. With such high stakes we assume, perhaps incorrectly, that our identities will be defined by what we stand for—particularly if we get it wrong—so we hesitate to take a stand and we choose neutrality instead. We falsely think we can appease all sides by being neutral. But this leads to psychological incongruence.
To develop psychological congruence and boost our well-being accordingly, we should experiment with a departure from cautious neutrality. Acknowledging the fear of taking a side is the first step. The discomfort associated with potential backlash must be weighed against the moral imperative to stand for truth and justice. Confronting the emotions of astonishment, confusion, helplessness, fear, despair, rage, and alienation inherent in a tense landscape means we must also confront the fear of taking a decisive position—for the sake of our psychological congruence. Transforming this fear into a catalyst for thoughtful, informed, and courageous engagement becomes essential.
Here are some ways to build your psychological congruence:
Educate Yourself:
● Fear often thrives in the unknown. To build your confidence about the issues, educate yourself about the context, the history, and the broader landscape. Understanding the nuances of the topics at hand will empower you to make informed decisions and alleviate some of the uncertainty that contributes to fear.
Engage in Constructive Dialogue:
● Fear of backlash is often rooted in the potential for conflict. Instead of avoiding conversations, actively engage in constructive dialogue with individuals who hold different perspectives. Set ground rules— such as assuming positive intent and agreeing that nobody has a monopoly on the truth—to ensure a good environment for everyone. Approach discussions with an open mind, listen actively, and seek common ground. Constructive conversations can diminish fear and foster understanding.
Define Your Values:
● Clarify your values and principles. Knowing what you stand for provides a solid foundation for taking a stance. Reflect on the issues that matter most to you, and understand how your values align with different positions. This self-awareness can instill confidence and conviction in your decisions.
Connect with Like-Minded Communities:
● Fear of isolation can be a significant deterrent. Connect with like-minded individuals or communities that share your values. Building a support network provides reassurance and a sense of belonging, even increased self-esteem. Knowing that you're not alone in your convictions can help mitigate the fear associated with taking a stance.
Start Small and Take Incremental Steps:
● Overcoming fear is a gradual process. Begin by taking small, incremental steps toward expressing your opinions. Share your thoughts with friends or family members, or participate in discussions within a supportive community. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually extend your engagement to a broader audience.
Taking a stand can be a vulnerable step to take in your developmental journey towards psychological congruence. However, being congruent with your values pays dividends to your psychological well-being. Finding inspiration in leaders who have taken the risk to voice their opinion, even when the opinion was unpopular, can help you to navigate the tenuous political landscape ahead of us this year. With self-compassion and grace, you can build your psychological congruence.
