The Importance of Decision-Making Skills for Kids

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Prior to the advent of the internet, parents often raised free-range children. Kids often got up early, left the house for the day, and returned home in time for supper. Throughout the day, kids made hundreds of decisions. One of the first decisions kids make is deciding what to do that day. Should I visit a friend or engage in some solitary activity? If the decision is made to visit a friend, which friend should I visit? When kids meet their friends, the two kids must jointly decide what to do. This decision-making process often involves compromise. One person may want to do one activity, and the other person may want to do a different activity. Informal negotiations take place. If you agree to do what I want to do today, we will do what you want to do tomorrow. The negotiations produce a joint decision to play a pickup baseball game.

Playing a pickup baseball game is not as easy as people may think; it involves a lot of decision-making. The rules of the game must be jointly negotiated. The boundaries of the field must be agreed upon. The distance between the bases must be decided. Will the game be played with a hardball, a softball, or a whiffle ball? How will balls and strikes be called? During the game, more critical decisions must be made. For example, the batter hits the ball and runs to first base. The throw to first base is made at the same time the runner crosses the base. Is the runner out, or are they safe? No umpires are present, so the players must decide if the runner is safe or out. The negotiations can become heated, but a compromise is typically agreed upon. In this case, the runner will be given a do-over.

The decision-making process often involves making bad decisions. As a kid, I remember making a decision to practice hitting a baseball in my small backyard. I took a swing and hit the ball. Much to my surprise, the ball flew sideways through my neighbor’s basement window. I had to make some hard decisions. Should I confess? I decided that honesty is the best policy. My father wasn’t angry. Instead, he directed me to notify the neighbor about the mishap and offer to fix the window. I had to buy the glass, the metal stays, and the putty with the money I earned from my paper route. No small amount when I was making one dollar a day delivering newspapers. On top of that, I measured the window wrong and had to buy another pane of glass. That mistake cost me a lot of candy bars and comic books. Note to self: Don’t make that same bad decision again. Think about the consequence of your actions before you decide to act.

In the post-internet world, kids don’t have to make as many decisions. Other people often make decisions for them. Kids are not allowed to roam too far from parental eyesight. Play dates are arranged and supervised by parents. If the play-date kids argue over a toy, the parents immediately intervene and decide how the toy will be shared. When the kids are old enough to play baseball, the parents drive their kids to the venue. Everything at the venue has been preordained, leaving no decision-making to the players. The umpire decides all close calls. The rules are firm, and the decisions are final. Consequently, post-internet kids have a difficult time making decisions. They tend to look to others or the government to decide for them.

Making decisions is an anxiety-provoking activity. People often feel great relief when they make decisions. Pre-internet kids made hundreds of decisions each day. They learned the consequences of their decisions, took responsibility for bad decisions, and learned not to make the same bad decisions a second time. The ability to make decisions creates responsible adults who experience less anxiety. As adults, post-internet kids are forced to make decisions, often for the first time, which causes frustration and anxiety. Additionally, negotiating compromises is an unknown art. Since other people have been making decisions for them throughout their lives, the consequences of bad decisions are often misattributed to others.

Decision-making is a practiced skill critical to becoming a well-adjusted adult. Childhood should be the practice field for the skills required in adulthood. In the pre-internet world, mistakes were a part of growing up. Mistakes evaporated and were forgotten with time. In the post-internet world, mistakes are recorded forever on social media. Comments made on social media when a person is a teenager are often weaponized to destroy that person as an adult. Forever memories make decision-making in a post-internet world much more difficult and anxiety-provoking—a sad unintended consequence of the post-internet world.