A Tool to Help You Manage Your Anxiety in the New Year

With the start of a new year, we think about goals we can set and hope to achieve. It's worth highlighting the intention of actionable and practical skills for helping the management of anxiety. It's not about getting rid of anxiety, which is unrealistic, it's about setting up for success—by thinking about useful and healthy steps to accept, work with, and cope with anxiety. This can help prevent anxiety disorders, and we can learn to live in an uncertain world.

Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder in children and teens, with the median age of onset being 11 years of age. (Julian, 2020). The rates of diagnosable anxiety disorders have significantly increased in recent years (Florida Atlantic University, 2023)

First, what is anxiety? Most people have experienced some levels of anxiety but what exactly qualifies as an anxiety disorder? Anxiety is characterized by worry or fear, mostly about the future, or thinking of worst-case scenarios. Fleeting anxiety and worries about things are normal parts of life, but when that thinking and catastrophizing turns into persistent worry or fear, it is likely an anxiety disorder (Lebowitz, 2021). The amygdala is a small (almond-sized) part of our brains, located in the limbic system, responsible for protecting us from danger (Siegel, 2012). For example, if a car immediately turned a corner out of nowhere while you were crossing a street, your amygdala would step into gear, and your fight-flight-freeze response would be activated (Goldstein, 2020). Essentially, acting before thinking when you are actually in danger. Although, in a day-to-day situation that may be stressful but not life-threatening, it is much more beneficial to think before you act (Siegel, 2012).

I have come up with a new tool that may help. I call this Pause.

P—Power of the Pause. I constantly hear my clients quickly jump to worse-case scenarios in their thought patterns or be extremely fearful about something that is out of their control. It can be the fear of something that has not even happened yet. This thought is a good example: I have a math test next week, and I know I am going to fail. This can then spiral into catastrophic thinking. Catastrophic thinking is repetitive and negative thought patterns that predict the worst-case scenarios. Catastrophizing inherently overestimates the level of danger you are in, and underestimates your ability to handle the situation (Bourne and Garano, 2016). For example, the thoughts would look like this: If I fail this math test, I will fail the class, and then never get into a good college and I will be a huge disappointment. The P stands for the power in the pause. Your thinking here may activate the fight-flight-or-freeze response when you are not in imminent danger. Pause once you notice a trigger and a negative thought pattern begins to start.

A—Ask yourself, Am I in danger? How am I doing? Psychiatrist and UCLA professor Dan Siegel coined the phrase: Name it to Tame It. Simply naming what emotion you are feeling, and having the capacity to label it can tell your prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of your brain) that you are not in immediate danger. For example: With the test example, I would encourage the client to pause and then ask: What am I feeling right now? Stress, nervousness, being unprepared for the exam? Per Siegel, naming our emotions also prepares us to learn how to be with our emotions, instead of getting swept up in them (Siegel, 2011).

U—Utilize your Breath: Utilizing the breath is important in calming down the nervous system when it gets activated (Bourne and Garano, 2016). Turning your attention to your breath, and taking deep inhales and exhales activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms down your body (Amthor, 2020). Breathing is one of the most important tools to practice and achieve mastery. “Use your breath” is a phrase that we hear often, but it's important to understand how to utilize and practice it when your nervous system is activated—and when you are not in immediate danger. Practicing deep breathing daily can help you access mindfulness when you need it most.

S—Say a Mantra: “I can do hard things” or “I love and accept myself” are two different examples of mantras. A mantra is a word or phrase that one repeats to oneself and is an effective tool to override repetitive negative thought patterns (Lynch and colleagues, 2018). Developing a mantra that works for you, and one that has meaning for you, can be transformative in rewiring and creating neural pathways in the brain. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to rewire and form neural connections (Kissen and colleagues, 2020). Let's go back to the math test example mentioned earlier. If your brain’s fight-flight-or-freeze response gets activated when thinking about the math test, and you begin having negative thought patterns, this neural pathway gets strengthened. In this example, the negative thought pattern is being reinforced. Our brains like to take the familiar route and engage in the thought process that it is accustomed to (Lyons, 2023).

Instead, create a helpful and powerful mantra for yourself, and once you have activated your deep breath, say your mantra to yourself. This will initiate the rewiring of your brain.

E—Enter the situation you are in. One of the most important things to know about anxiety is that accommodation and avoidance of the perceived threat (for example, the math test) make anxiety worse (Julian, 2020). Avoidance of a stimulus strengthens the fear response to this stimulus. It undermines the ability that we can handle it and makes us feel more anxious. Entering the situation you are currently in (even if you feel anxious), will help you unlearn the neural connection you formed that paired it with immediate danger (Bourne and Garano). As with neural pathways and the brain’s ability to rewire, you can form a new association with the situation you are entering (that is causing you anxiety, even if it is not a real threat). To grow, evolve, and live a life where you can expand yourself and try new things, even if anxiety is present, makes life fulfilling and powerful.

You are strong. You are capable. Even when your anxious thoughts tell you that you cannot handle something, whether it be speaking at a work event, asking for a raise at work, or learning a new language. Remember to pause when your fear response is activated when trying something new, or when you are in an uncertain situation. Practice this and you will thrive. Happy New Year.