Your Best Online Narcissism Stories

Last week, I posted asking you for your stories of narcissists on social media. You send a bunch of emails, and I've chosen a few to share here.

One message I received was from someone who manages a few groups on Facebook. The groups are closed, so people must request membership and have it approved by the group's owners. One classic narcissistic behavior this group owner saw many times is to complain when a membership request is denied. Narcissists have a sense of entitlement, and even when they should have no expectation to be let into a private group, it pushes a button for them when they are not given exactly what they want.

Another, more specific example, came from a reader who pointed me to a narcissistic blogger. She (the blogger) focused her posts on the high-status people she met and fancy places she goes. She presents herself as someone highly educated and familiar with the "best" people in a number of traditionally "high-class" arenas (ballet, literature, arts, etc.). She also name-drops and takes pains to associate herself with whatever celebrity she might run into. In short, she believes she is special and superior to most people, and her blog is her outlet to let everyone know.

One other online case described a person who used his Twitter account to brag about his accomplishments at work, which he thought were much more important than they actually were. He would also belittle co-workers who ranked (or he perceived as ranking) below him. The emailer also reported that at work, this guy seemed incapable of recognizing or showing gratitude for favors other people had done for him. All these behaviors are classic narcissistic traits.

And here's a final story, based more in the offline world, that I couldn't pass us. I am fortunate to have had an amazing and supportive advisor as a grad student (thanks, Jim!). He opened up opportunities for me as a student that I probably didn't deserve and now, nine years after I finished my PhD, he still sneaks in favors for me behind the scenes. His generosity and insights totally changed my career.

And that praise is to emphasize the impact an advisor can have on a young researcher. Unfortunately, that impact can also be negative. This article in The Chronicle describes a narcissistic nightmare of a post-doc supervisor that was worth sharing, even though it's not social media related.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. May you suffer no problems from the narcissists in your lives!