Does Perfectionism Kill Creativity or Feed It?

Perfectly prepared to create...

Source: Jess Bailey on Unsplash

I studied music therapy at Southern Methodist University years ago, and my job as a graduate intern was to teach word processing to the music students and their fellow colleagues in art history. We had the newest technology of course; the Apple IIc proudly adorned the desks in the computer lab, as they thankfully replaced whatever you'd been using — your mother's old clunky typewriter or, if you were lucky, an earlier model of the fairly recent arrival of the wondrous personal computer.

I was about as far from a computer geek as I could be. So I battled my way through the provided (but onerous) manual, as I tried to stay a page or two ahead.

I could always distinguish the meticulous art history students from their more laid-back counterparts by observing their relationship with the screen.

The history lovers' eyes would be persistently straining to see the screen up close, scouring it for every tidbit they could possibly soak up. The musicians would appear as if they'd just dragged themselves out of bed, and definitely had to warm up to the "excitement" of copy and paste.

All of these students were creative. Some might very well have been perfectionistic, practicing for hours on end to get a decrescendo just right. Or searching for that long-lost piece painted by an artist who'd remained relatively unknown, but whose work was true genius.

Yet the monumental difference in their approach to the computer was amusing. And kept me smiling through my own confusion.

Perfectionism is like that; it has two faces.

Destructive perfectionism is debilitating. Draining. Joy-sapping. Its focus on product, on task, on over-achievement, and exceeding all expectations can sabotage the creative process. it can lead to paralyzed decision-making, or procrastination (aka "insecure perfectionism"), as any budding self-confidence you might've mustered is shred to a pulp.

As artist Tee Mugayi described: "In some instances, I would design one thing today and love it, but wake up the following day completely hating it, this would inevitably lead to picking it apart forcing myself to either redesign it if time permitting, or if it’s a personal project, I end up just scrapping it completely."

And yet, is a perfectionistic streak all bad when it comes to creativity?

I don't think so.

Neither does Alice Boyes, who writes in the Harvard Business Review that perfectionism can actually lead to higher creativity. First, she states that perfectionists don't ignore the puzzle piece that doesn't fit or that fact that doesn't necessarily go along with the normal line of thinking. "Perfectionists find it harder to ignore 'the emperor has no clothes' situations in which the herd has settled on a way of thinking but there are flaws in that consensus," she says. She also stresses that perfectionists can be highly curious people who thrive on new learning. You are a seeker — and seekers discover.

So whether your perfectionistic streak leads to the excitement of discovery depends on whether it's almost exclusively goal-oriented (often more destructive) or process-oriented. The constructive perfectionist is more concerned with the journey of creating than whether or not their creation meets the expectations of others. Your inventive voice is inwardly focused. Not outwardly obsessed.

That's a huge difference.

But isn't a balance important?

It can be confusing. You may have a little of both. After all, you have to pay the bills, so shouldn't you keep an eye on what will please others? You bet. But then again, you can often get so lost in the creating that time whizzes by and you give absolutely no thought to food or drink. It's heady and even effortless, as you enjoy what's coming out of your mind, soul, and heart.

I went through a period in my own writing when I decided that subject nouns weren't important. I was quite caught up in how wonderfully clever that was — until a reader quite rightfully commented that my article was tremendously hard to follow, that I couldn't obviously make a proper sentence — and so why was my work being featured?

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Sometimes the world will teach you that you might consider another tack.

Finding self-acceptance.

But if you listen, you can feel and hear the difference. If you fall more on the destructive side of perfectionism, you can become more aware of the shame and fear that you're dead set on proving wrong, but that sits in your soul like dead weight.

And you can learn that you don't have to fight with those voices, but realize they no longer serve a purpose for you. You can take back your own power and belief. And you can trust in your inner striving — without having to prove a thing.

And simply enjoy being a creator.

If you're curious about the behaviors and beliefs that can cause destructive perfectionism to morph into actual depression, click here.