How to Approach Parental Leave with Emotional Intelligence

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Expecting and becoming a parent can be a stressful experience, even when planned. Parental leave allows for new parents to bond with their children and adjust to their new roles as caregivers.

However, taking time off from work can also be a challenging experience, both emotionally and financially. During this time, the emotional and physical demands of parenting can be overwhelming, and this is where emotional intelligence comes into play.

When parents approach parental leave with emotional intelligence, they can maintain their well-being while making the most of their time with their new child. Parents who develop emotional intelligence are better equipped to navigate the emotional roller coaster of having a child, identify when they need outside support, and ask for help.

Five benefits of parental leave for new parents:

1. Bond with the baby/child without the distraction and demands of work. Parental leave offers new parents an invaluable chance to bond with their newborn. Relationships formed during this stage are crucial in terms of emotional and physical growth for children as well as for emotional well-being of parents. Attachment is formed between a child and caregiver when the child feels safe, secure, and protected. Parents who take parental leave have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to establish long-lasting bonds of affection, trust, and mutual understanding with their baby.
2. Recover from childbirth or the stressors/demands of adoption/fostering. Parental leave can play an essential role in safeguarding and improving both parents’ physical health and that of their baby. New parents need time and space for themselves in the early weeks and months following childbirth to recover physically and emotionally. By taking time for themselves and resting, new mothers can recover fully from the physical demands of childbirth and strengthen themselves through rest and self-care. Additionally, extended time at home with their newborn allows new parents to better monitor and care for their health as a parent, seek medical advice when required, establish routines such as sleeping and feeding schedules, and provide a nurturing environment so their infant can flourish.
3. Take time to adjust. Process the adjustment in terms of your identity, lifestyle, daily routines, relationships, and family system (including sibling relationships/sibling rivalry). Promote sleep/rest, proper nutrition, and self-care to help recover from childbirth and/or the demands of caring for a new child. Set healthy limits and boundaries with extended family members by communicating assertively with your partner and with them and learning to say no. This includes saying no to a mother-in-law who wants to move into your home for three months!
4. Prepare for transition. Prepare for the transition back to work by making sure support systems are in place for childcare and other household/personal/financial responsibilities. Allow friends, family, and community members to provide help and support as feels comfortable and positive (such as assistance with meals, help with the baby so you can rest, and household responsibilities). Research childcare options and other resources (such as community programs, financial support through government programs, or resources through your Employee Assistance Program) to ensure you have the support in place to return to the workplace.
5. Follow-up. Attend follow-up care for yourself and your baby with healthcare providers like doctors and therapists to ensure health and well-being. Get screened for postpartum depression and consider a wellness check-up with a counselor or therapist.

What’s the Process for Qualifying for Parental Leave?

Start by exploring whetherf you qualify under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which provides eligible employees up to 12 weeks of job-protected, unpaid leave, including continuation of group health benefits. Qualifying reasons for FMLA include the birth and care of the newborn child of an employee as well as an employee adopting a baby or taking in a foster child.

If you are a woman with a pregnancy-related disability and work with an employer who has 15 or more employees, explore whether you are covered under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) as well as the requirements of Title I of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

There are other options, including:

• Using any accrued sick or vacation time.
• Asking your employer about the possibility of quitting and then being rehired after taking time off from work. Go in understanding there may be the risk of not being rehired.
• Using your emotional intelligence to be honest and direct with your employer and asking about other options. Perhaps the company would let you work a limited number of hours from home to help with the adjustment.
• Exploring other job opportunities.
• Considering temporarily moving in with family members who can help.
• Dividing and conquering with your partner. Maybe your partner is eligible for leave or you can each shift or reduce your work hours to better accommodate the new demands of childcare.
• If you have the financial means, consider hiring a nanny, night nanny, or au pair.

Summing Up

Emotional intelligence can play a significant role for new parents in allowing them to recognize and appreciate the benefits of taking parental leave. The transition to parenthood can be overwhelming, and many parents struggle to balance the demands of work and family life. Fortunately, emotional intelligence can help parents navigate this new phase of their life.