10 Ways to Model Humanity for Kids

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I live in New York City. Two years ago, at the start of our pandemic quarantine mandates, it felt desolate, almost completely silent except for the sounds of sirens. Now, New York is bustling again. As we discover our new societal norms with added stressors from global headlines, we are again forced to re-evaluate our priorities, values, work, health, opportunities, identities, addresses, relationships, finances — frankly, everything.

This re-evaluation of our fundamentals has been bumpy. I frequently find myself hoping we uphold respect for our differences and remember to practice humanity. How we model our growth as we live through the pandemic will shape a generation.

At the most base level, social reproduction theory tells us that we learn from the words and actions of those around us throughout life (Lind, 2019). There are few instances in which black-and-white thinking is applicable. Rather, we should strive to emphasize understanding and acceptance. Cliched and accurate, our kids, and we, are sponges (Morin, 2021).

David Brooks wrote in the New York Times, "As Americans’ hostility toward one another seems to be growing, their care for one another seems to be falling." (Brooks, 2022)

We are in an era when students act out in schools, adults become aggressive over regulations on planes, and medical staff are forced to deal with demeaning behaviors from patients. Let’s not lose our way. The wider global community demand it of us.

Ideas for Being Better

We can reflect and make intentional decisions about who we are, and who we are for our children. We are ripe for the opportunity to become positive role models:

1. Admit your shortcomings. Be a reflective practitioner. How do your actions impact others? Make a commitment to admitting mistakes, fixing them, and doing better moving forward. A teacher friend of mine often reminds her students that the word FAIL stands for “First Attempt At Learning.” Perhaps we need to be reminded of the glass houses in which we live, lest we throw stones.
2. Confront social media. Talk with children about what they see on social media, and share what you are seeing as well. Don’t simply watch a video of women fighting over a turkey and laugh, but rather discuss the myriad ways this situation could have been resolved. We need to be fully aware of the algorithms we allow to influence our headspace.
3. Keep good company. Evaluate with whom you and your children spend time. How we engage in relationships directly influences those in which our children engage. As the saying goes, “If you’re the smartest one in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”
4. Do a kindness audit. Carefully consider how you respond to stressful situations. Do you meet others with grace and kindness, or do you wear your stress and angst on your sleeve? There is already an abundance of malice and negativity in every facet of society. Pledge to model positivity.
5. Embrace work-life balance. The "great resignation" is very real. Employees at all levels and in all industries have taken inventory of what they find valuable in career and work environments. Work-life balance has taken center stage, and family members know where they fall on your list of priorities.
6. Engage in philanthropy. We can all be givers on whatever scale works for you. In the U.S., our societal supports are increasingly lacking, from universal healthcare to equitable access to quality education. When you can, there is always space to give, which, in turn, proves most rewarding.
7. Be trustworthy. Quality role models earn and build trust over time.
8. Exhibit integrity. Actions may speak louder than words but your actions should reflect your words and beliefs. What are your ideals and do you consider the greater good over your individuality? In the U.S., for example, maintaining democracy requires each of us to make sacrifices. Can we endeavor to eliminate selfish behaviors to counter global ills from climate change to totalitarianism?
9. Have a positive attitude. Attitudes, like laughter and yawns, can be contagious. As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you wish to see.” Maybe make an effort to find the silver lining. Demonstrate strength, calm, and perseverance in stressful times.
10. Be an inspiration. A good role model motivates others to reach their full potential. We can’t all be Robin Williams from Dead Poets Society or Michelle Pfeiffer from Dangerous Minds, but we can commit to making an effort to listen first and talk second. We can offer positive, actionable advice and applaud loudly at the success of others.

Increasingly, we each have a responsibility to society. Young people are rightly calling out societal ills. So, let’s examine how we can change. If not now, when?