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Key points
- Emotions are fundamental to our daily lives.
- They are an evolutionary adaptive way of processing the world around us.
- Suppressing emotions does not take them away, but it does lead to more pain in the long run.
As a psychologist, my number-one goal for my patients is to create space to process emotions. I've made this my main focus because, in my experience, a lot of folks come to therapy because they don't have a place in their lives where they can safely and freely feel their feelings. They are told to "suck it up" or to "keep calm and carry on" when they experience any form of negative emotion. It’s unfortunate that we live in a world where many of us are constantly bombarded with messages that emotions don’t matter, that they are "irrational," or somehow not valid, or at the very least are far inferior to logic and reason. I will be the first one to tell you that these messages are untrue and damaging.
To be clear, we are not the only species that experience emotion.
In fact, those "pesky" and "unruly" feelings are what most animals use to survive in the wild. In a sense, emotions serve as a compass for interpreting the stimuli around us. They let us know when we are in danger and give us a sense of reinforcement or satiation when we've experienced something pleasurable like a delicious meal. Most evolutionary scientists would argue that humans would be lost without emotion!
Despite the breadth of evolutionary science supporting the importance of emotion, society continues to tell us that we have evolved past needing them to function. There’s so much emphasis on algorithms and arguments that seem to fundamentally obscure the complexity of human behavior. Yet, if we truly had moved past the need to rely on emotion, why do people so often act in ways that go against their best interests? Why do so many of us still rely on alcohol, drugs, food, or sex to suppress our feelings when it would be so much easier to just experience them as they come?
As someone who is all about feeling my feelings, I recognize that emotions can be tough.
They can get the best of us sometimes. Sitting with pain can be uncomfortable at best and pure misery at worst. Heck, even positive emotions like joy can be overwhelming. It's just scary to feel sometimes. In many respects, it may seem easier to numb ourselves with "logic" or distract ourselves with all the modern marvels of technology, which brings me to the purpose of my blog…
In a nutshell, I hope to provide you with some unconditional support to let yourself feel again. I will share practical tips for sitting with and truly being present for your emotions. I will apply what I've learned through research, my clinical work, and, frankly, my experience struggling with the same stuff (I am human, after all). I look forward to guiding you on how to just sit with and be with your emotions, no matter how big or seemingly insignificant. At the very least, I hope this blog will serve as a reminder that emotions matter and that they are meaningful.
