3 Therapist Attitudes That Are Key for Healing

Most psychologists and psychotherapists will be familiar with Carl Rogers’ client-centered theory of therapy. Rogers was famous for proposing that there are three therapist conditions that are important for developing a healing therapeutic relationship. The three therapist conditions are congruence, empathic understanding, and unconditional positive regard.

Congruence refers to the self-knowledge and self-awareness of the therapist as well as their ability to be open, transparent and genuine with the client.

Empathy refers to the attempt by the therapist to understand the client’s moment-by-moment experiences in therapy and communicate that understanding to the client.

Unconditional positive regard refers to the therapist’s ability to have a consistent level of warm regard and respect for the client without imposing any of their own values or needs on the client.

Research shows that client-centered therapy is effective at producing change and helping people lead more fulfilling lives. Most psychologists and psychotherapists today recognize that these are the fundamental attitudes for developing a good therapeutic relationship.

The Power of Combined Conditions

When first introduced to Rogers’ theory, it is usually taught as if these three conditions were separate from each other. That is understandable. As students, we must learn about ourselves, practice being empathic, and reflect on our ability to be unconditional with others, and often that involves exploring each condition in turn.

But it is also misleading to think of these three conditions as separate from each other. The true magic of Rogers’ approach is only seen when these three conditions come together. To fully understand Rogers’ theory, it is necessary to see these three conditions as parts of a whole.

Take congruence. Congruence is about being true to yourself and expressing yourself openly. But in learning to be more congruent, people can forget that it needs to be in the context of empathy and unconditional regard. Congruence on its own can be harsh and damaging.

I'm sure we all know someone who speaks their mind as they see it, but who, in talking to us, seems unable to take our perspective and who relates to us in terms of what they want us to do. It could be a friend, work colleague, or neighbor. Such people are often the source of conflict and tension. Their interactions are certainly not healing or growthful. Being congruent on its own is not therapeutic. It is no use being congruent without the other two conditions. The magic is in learning to be congruent and simultaneously empathic and unconditionally regarding of the other person.

Similarly, it is no use being empathic without the other two attitudes. Empathy on its own can be used to control and manipulate people. Psychopaths use empathy in this way. But when empathy is underpinned by congruence and unconditional positive regard, it becomes a powerful and benevolent force for interpersonal healing.

The client-centered therapist will spend years of training and education to develop these attitudes in themselves and to be with other people in a way in which these three attitudes are expressed simultaneously.

This becomes what Carl Rogers referred to as a way of being.