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A New Approach to New Year's Resolutions
Resolutions are fraught with self-judgement. Here's a fresh approach to 2015.
Posted December 30, 2014
This is the time of year, of course, when we look back and assess how the last 12 months have progressed. We take stock of what went well, but too often focus on what didn’t. The New Year brings an opportunity to do things a little differently. Many of us set New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes they actually change behaviors. And…sometimes they don’t.
The changing of the year offers a bright and shiny opportunity to start over, improve in particular ways, or accomplish things you didn’t accomplish during the last year. It’s also a great time to create goals that are full of expectation and excitement. And maybe a little fear, too—I always think that’s okay. It means you’re pushing yourself.
The New Year reminds me of the start of school, with shiny new notebooks full of potential learning and a calendar that promises organization and discipline you swear you’ll keep throughout the year. By December, how many of us had notebooks crammed full of papers, missed homework assignments here and there, and not enough sleep to function at our highest levels?
Then, we beat ourselves up for not doing what we promised. We felt worse than ever — – maybe even like a loser who can’t change. Well, we do the same kind of thing now that we’re all grown up, and it doesn’t do us much good.
Here’s a better approach: Wanting to change yourself or how you do things too often implies judgment, a belief that we failed or somehow screwed up. Instead of focusing on everything you want to change, focus on what would encourage a fuller expression of who you truly are.
What do I mean by that? When was the last time you did something because it actually resonated with who you are, who you want to be, rather than what you should do, what others told you to do, what might make others happy, or even make them like you more?
It helps to take stock first. Look back on 2014 at some of the more impactful decisions you’ve made.
Ask yourself:
- What motivated me to choose this course of action?
- Why did I say yes instead of no (or vice versa) ?
- Was I paying attention to my own needs and wants or just reacting to what was put in front of me?
- Was my decision part of loving myself or pleasing others?
These can sometimes be difficult questions to ponder, but if you’re really honest with yourself, you’ll probably find a fair percentage of the decisions you made were not in alignment with living a full expression of yourself.
This is part of being human—so don’t beat yourself up! I would just like to encourage you to act more in alignment with what will make YOU happy and more fulfilled—because guess what? The happier and more fulfilled you are, the better others are around you. The ripple effect is huge. When you end up making decisions based on what is in alignment with you, the law of attraction states that you will attract MORE that is in alignment with who you are!
Let me give you a common example. Often, the first resolution we make on New Year’s is to get in shape or lose weight. Instead of feeling lousy about the way you look or feel, and focusing on “changing what is bad,” remind yourself that your desire to do things differently now is about being the fullest expression of yourself. The difference is huge—change based not on feeling self-contempt, but based on self-love! If you love yourself, how will you eat? If you love yourself, how will you speak about yourself? If you love yourself, how will you move or exercise? It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks. When it comes from inside you, it has great meaning and a powerful impact on your motivation.
So, this new year, if you base your decisions and goals on loving yourself and being the fullest expression of who you are, I bet you’ll be pretty happy with the results!
Remember:
If you love yourself, how will you treat yourself, talk to yourself? What will a decision or resolution truly in alignment with who you are look like? Feel like?
Wishing you a year filled with great love for yourself and big dreams of fulfillment come true.
