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Mind Games We Play on Ourselves

Some mind games can be helpful, but not all.

Key points

  • Helpful mind games can include creating an artificial deadline, suppressing a negative thought, and pretending you’re your best self.
  • Harmful mind games can include hypermonitoring your health, zoning out, and deliberately triggering others.
  • It’s helpful to become aware of both helpful and harmful mind games you may be using.
Megan Rexazin, Pixabay, Public Domain
Source: Megan Rexazin, Pixabay, Public Domain

We sometimes play mind games with ourselves. Some are helpful, others not.

Helpful mind games

If you use these and find them of value, great. If not, do you want to try one or more?

Creating an artificial deadline. Intellectually, you know the thing isn’t due until a week from now. But you also know that if you don’t do it now, you’ll risk procrastinating and doing a rush job or even not doing it at all. So you lie to yourself: "I gotta get this thing done today, non-negotiable."

Suppressing a negative thought. You’re waiting for a test result, are afraid you’ll be tongue-tied on a date or, even though you’ve prepared, you're scared of your upcoming job interview. So, as soon as the hairy thought leaps to mind, you say “stop” to yourself and distract yourself with something fun or constructive.

Pretending you’re your best self. Like most people, you’re insecure, at least in some situations. So as you’re facing something scary, you pretend you’re not your insecure you but your most justifiably confident self.

Harmful mind games

Watch out for these:

Hypermonitoring your health. Of course, it’s reasonable to monitor our health for severe or otherwise scary changes, but it's not healthy to be hypervigilant. We all get myriad pains that are minor or transient. The hypermonitor benefits from the stimulation but that benefit is dwarfed by the reduction in peace of mind.

Maxing adrenaline. You get a shot of adrenaline by pushing the envelope. Examples: You see how little work you can get away with. Or you drive as fast as possible. Or you allot the minimum time to do something so you can get the rush of racing against the deadline, whether keeping an appointment or doing what you promised you’d do. If adrenaline-seeking becomes compulsive, it’s both physically and mentally unhealthy. Plus, you often won't get tasks done on time because there’s only one way that something takes the minimum time and myriad ways it can take longer.

Zoning out. This is the converse of the previous mind game. We all need respites, even a bit of daydreaming. But as with mind-altering substances, some people need ever bigger doses to get high, or in this case, to get low. So they spend more and more time spacing out. That mind game can yield bad outcomes like not getting done what you need to get done, not being present in your interactions, even car accidents.

Deliberately triggering others. Some people get off on triggering people. For example, knowing that someone is insecure about their intelligence, the perpetrator makes a particularly cogent assertion and then asks the person to counter. That game can also be played passive-aggressively: For example, you know that your spouse loves when you’re being responsible, so you deliberately do something irresponsible that affects your spouse, for example, “forgetting” to pay bills.

So, is there a helpful mind game that you want to be sure you continue to use? Is there a harmful mind game you want to banish from your mind? Not a bad New Year's resolution.

I read this aloud on YouTube.

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