8 Steps Toward a Happy Retirement

Source: Image by Nick Youngson, CC3.0, picserver.

I made a smooth transition from full-time work to retirement, and I assumed that almost all retired people had a similar experience. You’re retired! Your time is your own! What’s not to like?

Most studies support my experience. Usually, retirement—defined succinctly by blogger Judith Nadratowski as "the phase of life after leaving a primary career"—can improve both health and life satisfaction. In addition, numerous surveys worldwide show that, in general, older people tend to be happier people, contradicting the stereotype that older people are grouchy, ill-tempered folk, as I write here. A recent World Happiness Report confirmed this general trend, ranking Americans over 60 as number 10 in happiness among 143 countries. (For details, and for the dark side of this report for young people, click here.)

Still, in the past few years, I have learned that retirement can present a significant problem of adjustment for many people. In fact, I was shocked to read that almost one-third of U.S. retirees are depressed. For many, these feelings of depression stem from the loss of their work role and, with it, a loss of structure, identity, and purpose.

I was able to sidestep these problems in retirement, doing, in retrospect, what turned out to be 8 Good Things. I retired from my full-time job in 2005 without knowing that these “good things” are now recommended by numerous retirement experts. Luckily, I did know myself well enough to stumble onto the right path for me. But everyone is different. To find your best path, be sure to read the ideas of retirement specialist Mike Drak at the end of the post.

8 Things I Managed to Get Right When I Retired

What did that path look like? Here is a rough account of my retirement journey:

1. I had enough money. I was fortunate to build my retirement on a solid financial foundation. I say “fortunate” because I was not money-savvy during most of my early life. Just by luck, my various jobs in education and counseling were all part of the same healthy public school retirement system. When I was ready to retire after over 32 years in education, a traditional pension was waiting for me. Thanks to my union, the National Education Association (NEA), I was able to escape the burden of money worries that contribute to anxiety and depression among retirees and workers alike.

2. I had a sense of purpose. While I loved my last, longest, and best job as a counselor at our local community college, I had an intense desire to write a book on successful habit change. I already was teaching a short personal development course inspired by the loss of a wonderful aunt who had died from lung cancer because she couldn't stop smoking cigarettes.

I figured it was now or never for my writing ambitions. But would it work out? Freelance writing is a chancy business. I’m not a risk-taker nor particularly entrepreneurial. What would I do with myself if I had no job or meaningful preoccupation? I sensed that, for me, a sense of purpose would be essential to a happy retirement. (As it turns out, many retirees feel the same way.)

3. I retired gradually. To hedge my bets, I decided to continue to work part-time at the college after retirement. I checked with my supervisor; luckily, he was happy that I could still be a resource for the counseling department even after I took the retirement plunge. I would be able to teach short courses part-time, plus I could help out during registration. I worked part-time for about four years while I labored on the book that would become Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success. Nowadays, retiring gradually is often dubbed a “phased retirement.” A Yahoo! Finance article predicts that phased retirements will be the wave of the future; if so, I was just slightly ahead of my time.

4. I stayed in touch with my work friends. I still meet regularly with my beloved colleagues from the college. And “beloved” is not too strong a word to describe how I feel about my fellow and sister workers. Two colleagues and I have had monthly lunches together for at least 10 years. My wonderful supervisor of over 20 years throws a yearly holiday party that I would not miss for the world. Here, I reconnect with lovely people, catch up, and reminisce.

5. I had a little bit of luck—OK, a lot of luck. With the help of another colleague, I succeeded in finding a publisher for my book. The cream in the coffee was that the publisher linked me to the blogging opportunity here at Psychology Today, a creative outlet that I’ve enjoyed for 14 years and counting. At that point, I retired from part-time work at the college and became a full-time writer.

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6. I created a helpful structure for my days. Some people nearing retirement probably have a rosy picture of sleeping late and then doing whatever they want whenever they want. More power to them! But oddly enough, research indicates that a predictable and pleasant daily structure is linked with both happiness and mental health.

My weekday schedule was built around my goals of health, purpose, pleasure, and relationships. For the curious, it usually includes breakfast, 20-30 minutes of exercise, business details and email, lunch with friends or with the New York Times crossword puzzle, writing, watching Jeopardy, dinner, reading, or TV.

7. I am grateful to have a solid support system of family and friends. I have a supportive partner who loves to cook. He cooks dinner! Think of the time I save. Although my family lives elsewhere, we speak frequently and visit regularly. I Zoom with my granddaughter once a week. I have regular lunches or coffees with close friends.

8. I make room for volunteer work, fun, and mini-adventures. While our interest in "big travel" has waned as we've aged, we still enjoy one-tank trips to various spots near home and are dedicated in-town tourists.

The Key to a Good Retirement

According to author and retirement specialist Mike Drak, in his book Retirement Heaven or Hell, retirees “basically fall into two broad categories: comfort-oriented retirees and growth-oriented retirees.”

Comfort-oriented retirees seek leisure, relaxation, and fun during their retirement. My partner Brian, for example, likes to describe himself as “cruising” in retirement, throwing himself into hobbies such as gardening and home improvements. Other friends happily fill their retirement days with golf, tennis, and other pleasures.

Growth-oriented retirees tend to be goal-oriented and need projects that give them a sense of purpose. Some take on "encore careers." Some embark on projects that fulfill youthful dreams. Some, like me, yearn to get started on long-postponed projects, like writing that book. Others, like my good friend, whose modest goal is to “end world hunger,” devote themselves to extensive volunteer work for the good of all.

This helpful distinction between a growth-oriented or comfort-oriented retirement can help individuals think through their future preferences. It can also help couples have a realistic discussion about their similarities and differences. If both members of a couple can accept each other’s vision of a happy retirement and adjust according, they can spend their days together with much less friction. Realistic expectations matter.

That said, you don’t really know how you’ll feel once you do retire. The woman who just wanted to rest and relax might eventually realize that a comfortable life does not provide enough meaning for her. The man who was inspired to change the world through a volunteer project might eventually decide to spend more time with his grandchildren. Be prepared to pivot.

There’s no one “ideal retirement.” But there are many ways to have a happy retirement if you build your retirement activities on a solid foundation of self-knowledge.

(c) Meg Selig, 2024.