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How to Keep Your Professional Networks Warm
The most important words in relationship management
Posted November 3, 2020 Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
There is a cliché in banking:
The best time to ask for a loan is when you do not need one. And the worst time to ask for a loan is when you do.
The same concept applies to managing the relationships important for your career: The worst time to approach your network is when you need a favor. The best time to approach them is when you do not.
Our mission is to help Psychology Today readers create trigger mechanisms in their mobile devices to alert them when it is time to reach out to professional relationships. We call this procedure “Keeping Your Network Warm.”
The Importance of Keeping Your Network Warm
Time demands of work and family can easily result in your professional relationships growing cold. The result is that when you MUST access your network to identify career opportunities, you are worried that the person you are reaching out to will think, “The only time she contacts me is when she is needy. Otherwise, she ignores me.”
Keeping your network warm means deliberately structuring times during the year when you place a telephone call to people for reasons that have nothing to do with you. You keep your network warm by calling about them.
2020 Triggers
The most charitable thing one can say about 2020 is that it has been an unusual year. People on the West Coast are dealing with forest fires and air pollution, people who live near the Gulf Coast are dealing with hurricanes and flooding. And everybody has been impacted by COVID-19.
Use these 2020 triggers as a reason to call your network: “I just wanted to call and see how you and your family are coping during this crisis.” Begin a conversation by focusing on their lives rather than yours.
“Pick Up the Phone” Season.
The “Pick up the Phone” Season begins 15 November, when you can start wishing your contacts a Happy Thanksgiving, and ends 15 January, when you can still call people to wish them Happy New Year. That means you have approximately sixty days to contact the people in your network.
Do not waste time or money on a card. A card is all about your good wishes. It does not allow you to have a conversation. And the conversation is what you are after.
Birthdays
On Facebook, click “Events” and then click “Birthdays.” It will show you the birthdays of all the people on your Facebook network. You can key in names and dates on your mobile device calendar to remind yourself to pick up your mobile device wish happy birthday.
On LinkedIn, click “Messages” and scroll down until you get to “Birthdays.” LinkedIn will tell you who had a birthday yesterday and who has one today. Write the names down on your mobile device calendar.
After you have made the call, move the date up to next year so that you do not have to enter the data again.
Avoid checking “Congratulations” on social media. Your goal is a conversation.
Dates of Employment
Ask Human Resources to provide you with the dates of employment of people on your team. On their work anniversary, give them a call to express personal appreciation for their contributions to the company. Ask their perspectives about how things are going at the company.
It is one of the few times when you can legitimately work around the corporate hierarchy without offending the direct supervisor.
Once you have finished the call, move the notation on your calendar to the same date next year.
What Should You Talk About?
The purpose of these phone calls is to keep your network warm by engaging in conversation. After the initial pleasantries, it will be time to ask the five most important words in relationship management: “How can I help you?”
“Help” need not necessarily be about job opportunities for you. You can provide “Help” in the form of useful introductions to people in your network, useful articles to share, and your own perspectives.
Motivation is Overrated.
This piece began with a cliché: The best time to connect professional networks is when you are not needy. This blog ends with another cliché: Givers gain.
In the short term, some people are takers and not givers. In the long term, most people who freely give value tend to receive value. Do not wait until you need to initiate contact. Do not wait for motivation to initiate contact. We recommend that you use the structure of your mobile device calendar to prompt you when to reach out to your network on a consistent basis.
Keeping your network warm is not a “nice” idea. It is a business imperative for managing your career during uncertain times.
