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Key points
- Aging can be accompanied by many physical health challenges.
- Older adults can struggle emotionally to adjust to their aging bodies.
- Clarifying your values can help you remain engaged in what's important despite physical problems.
- Shifting your thinking and perspective can help you remain realistic and focused on what you can control.
As much as we might acknowledge that growing older is a privilege, many people in the later chapters of life will tell you that aging isn’t for the faint of heart. Numerous physical changes occur in late life: reduced muscle mass and bone density, less cardiovascular efficiency, altered hormone levels, thinning of skin, and shifting circadian rhythms. These are only a subset of the normal physical changes that accompany aging.
And then some things go sideways. High blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, falls, heart disease, cancer, neurodegenerative disease, and vision or hearing impairment can, unfortunately, be part and parcel of having an aging body. Our bodies are trying the best they can to adapt to the myriad of stressors we face throughout the lifespan but the inescapable fact is, we are human.
Many older adults will have a tough time adjusting to physical changes. Some feel anxious and scared as they’re more aware of their physical vulnerability and lack control over their bodies. Others may feel frustrated and angry about how their bodies are falling apart and aren’t as reliable as they used to be. Then some feel embarrassed or self-conscious about new limitations and need more help than they ever did before. They don’t like looking old.
If any of this sounds like you, know you’re not alone. Many older adults feel the same way. But just because you may be facing physical challenges doesn’t mean you have to wave a white flag and resign yourself to a life devoid of meaning, engagement, or fun. If you want to better handle the curve balls that get thrown your way in an aging body, here are a few suggestions.
Clarify What’s Important
Physical illness or other limitations often throw a wrench into how we accomplish our daily goals or pursue things that are meaningful to us. Feelings of frustration, sadness, and stress can soon follow. While it may be tempting to stay dwelling on how things aren’t like they used to be, it’s important to pivot and focus on clarifying what’s most important to you, such as your values. Perhaps that means relationships with family members, community service, learning new things, or being physically active.
Your values are the compass that guides you in the most meaningful directions. And when we live consistently with these values, we are more satisfied with our lives—even if our bodies are causing problems. Physical challenges can require us to adapt how we are living by our values. The important thing to focus on is how you might still be able honour your values in light of the physical limitations or challenges you have. An older adult with limited mobility who values being in nature might find a great lookout point to sit in as opposed to a 10-mile hike to go on.
Identify What Story You’re Telling
We all have that voice in our head that narrates our experience, judging what’s happening and making predictions about what’s going to happen in the future. The only problem with this voice (and it’s a big one) is that it’s prone to making extreme conclusions based on emotion and limited information. This voice might tell you that “unless you’re pain-free, you won’t be able to live the life you want.”
One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is to identify that this voice consists of thoughts and not facts. Many of these thoughts are distorted, contain internalized ageist beliefs, and grossly underestimate your ability to cope with physical challenges. Cognitive behavioural therapy can help older adults identify and change unhelpful patterns of thinking. You may benefit from working with a professional or consulting self-help to change how you think about aging.
Shift Your Time Perspective
Some of the distress that older adults can experience about their aging bodies isn’t just about what’s currently happening but it’s about what may happen in the future. What if my cancer returns? How will I manage at home when my macular degeneration worsens? Will I develop dementia someday?
Our brains love to play time machine and bounce forward to predict what will happen. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be incredibly useful if we anticipate things that are likely to happen and identify what is in our control to do about them. But the time machine can backfire when we’re focusing on hypotheticals that may not happen or on things outside our control. When this happens, it is important to step out of the time machine and focus your attention on the present or imminent future (e.g., this week). Mindfulness meditation can be a tool to help refocus on the present.
The physical changes that accompany aging don’t have to be feared or mean that life comes to a screeching halt. By focusing on your values, changing your narrative of aging, and balancing your attention between the present and future, you can live your life to the fullest at any age.
