Verified by 
Key points
- Make daily deposits into your mental health for pleasure and progress through actions such as taking time to relax or begin a new hobby.
- Invest in your mental health by committing to your values and morals.
- Pay attention to your mental health balance and flag when things are going wrong.
Ever feel burned out? Tapped out? Exhausted? Look around and think, “What do I have to look forward to?” These can all be signs that your mental health is in the red. Just like our monthly bank statements, our mind’s health can be seen as a series of deposits and withdrawals. Drinking tea on the couch while watching my favorite TV show is a deposit and running late for an appointment is a withdrawal. The past year with the COVID pandemic has been the equivalent of a financial crisis on our emotional resources, so it's a great time to reassess how we take care of ourselves on a daily basis. I'll be helping you open a mental health bank account today. Now, let’s walk you through the steps.
Tip 1: Take a Log of Mental Assets and Debts
Taking an inventory can feel like the most difficult step, as it involves taking an honest account of how we've been living. You will want to isolate the behaviors and activities that have an additive benefit to your life (aka, your assets), and also the aspects of life that cause you stress (aka, your liabilities). It’s important to note here that there isn’t a method to eliminate all stress. In fact, some of our stressors are also our greatest assets.
For instance, raising children can sometimes make you want to pull your hair out. However, for those who make that choice, child rearing can also be an enriching endeavor. The goal is to make sure that life isn’t so imbalanced that you are living in a psychological deficit.
Examples of assets can include healthy relationships, regular participation in recreational activities, and a non-judgmental mindset. Your debts often look like the reverse of your assets. These can include: damaging relationships, lack of hobbies or wellness activities such as cardiovascular fitness, and a highly critical mindset. The key is to look at both internal and external factors that are contributing to the plus and minus columns of your life.
Tip 2: Make Daily Deposits
Remember the old adage, “A penny saved is a penny earned”? Well, that definitely applies here! Many people consistently fall into a mental health trap known as magnification and minimization.
It can look like this: “Spending quality time with my partner and our animals at the end of the day isn’t going to help. My boss is still going to be around every day making my life terrible!” In this example, you’re minimizing the impact that a deposit (quality time with a loved one) could have to mitigate work stress. When you magnify situations in your mind, it can lead to feeling vulnerable, which increases the magnitude of the withdrawal from your mental health bank. Think of it like hidden fees. We want to accumulate as many positives per day as possible, whether they are the equivalent to a dime or a $50 bill.
I think of deposits in two extensive categories which I call “Pleasure” and “Progress.”
Let’s start with Pleasure. This category is all about doing things that feel good. This could range from having the thought, “I’m a kind and helpful person,” to going on an all-inclusive vacation at a tropical resort. The goal here is to do at least one thing per day that is enjoyable for you. Remember, there’s no shame or judgment here; if you find pleasure in watching old episodes of Full House for the nostalgia factor, or Bachelor in Paradise for the drama, then go for it!
Next up is Progress. These are activities that leave us feeling a sense of accomplishment. When you have more confidence, it can lead to a reduction in negative emotions. Just like with Pleasure, you want to pick one thing that you can do each day for the Progress column. You should choose something that feels challenging but doable.
For instance, if you’ve never played soccer in your life, you wouldn’t set an expectation to join a neighborhood team and score five goals in your first game. Instead, set an incremental goal that is just enough to make you stretch, but not enough to make you fall flat on your face. The idea here is to plan for success, not failure, which involves gradually increasing the difficulty over time. Remember: this is a no-judgment zone. Don’t get critical about the size of your challenge! As you accumulate achievements in the longer-term, you can improve self-esteem and overall happiness.
Tip 3: Diversify Investments
You probably know that with any financial investments, it’s important to diversify. We need short term positives that pay off right now and long term investments that pay over time. These investments are usually linked to our values. Values are our principles, morals, ethics, and standards of living. For example, if I am a spiritual person, then studying religion and attending religious services may be a top priority.
Investments tend to be ongoing because a value isn’t something you complete. You can, however, finish a goal related to a value. So, if I value being helpful to others and I bring my elderly neighbor's mail to her door for her each morning, I’d never say, “Challenge complete! Now I can go around being a jerk to people for the rest of the day.” What you will notice about living within your values is that they provide our lives with meaning and purpose -- and these investments usually pay back with interest.
Tip 4: Turn on Mental Alerts
In order for all of this to work, we have to mindfully manage our mental health bank. You will need to monitor for suspicious activity and write down warning signs to watch out for in your emotional spending habits.
Have you been spending time with people who are toxic for you? Have you been staying up late at night doomscrolling and not getting enough sleep? If you aren’t paying attention to your debts, they can quickly accumulate and outpace your deposits. Consequently, this also involves creating routines that include accumulating positives as a standard practice.
This could include creating a routine involving a new hobby, like running or jump-roping, setting aside time for reading or studying something new, or saying one affirming and compassionate comment about ourselves in the mirror every morning. And then, when we are engaged in a pleasant event, we must fully participate in that moment. That means focusing our attention on the here and now, not worrying about when the good thing will end, or if we deserve it. Fully acknowledge that in this moment our experience is one of satisfaction, or relief, or happiness.
Another mindful tactic is to take a few minutes to pause and absorb the positives. Recall your experience: the thoughts that went through your mind and the emotions you felt. It’s a great way to save an event in your mind and have access to it later when you’re going through a stressful time. For example, let’s say you’re going through a breakup and you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m all alone.” That’s a pretty massive withdrawal, but if you really think back, and recall all these wonderful memories with friends and family, it may lessen the impact on your mental health wallet. You might instead think, “Going through this breakup is rough but luckily, I have people around who love me.” From an emotional perspective, that could be the difference between totaling your car or having to get a new transmission from your mental health bank. Who doesn’t want those kinds of savings?
