Love Handles: A Sign of Commitment?

I had been dreading getting on the scale for weeks. I kept asking myself whether I should fast, skip breakfast, or do an extra hour of exercise every day. This particular anxiety creeps up on me right before I have my annual checkup at the doctor. I never look forward to my doctor's appointment in general, but getting on that big scale where the red neon numbers show up, like the scoreboard at a baseball game, is always an anxiety provoking experience for me!

But this time, it was different. I was actually interested in seeing the numbers on the scale so that I could compare it to my premarital weight. My interest was prompted after reading a new study by Drs. The´ and Gordon-Larsen from the School of Public Health at the University of North Carolina, published in the July issue of Obesity. If the study findings were correct, my seventeen years of wedded bliss would have added a few pounds to my figure.

The study showed that when heterosexual partners move in together or get married, after just a few years, they gain weight. In fact, partners who marry are twice as likely to become obese as those who are simply dating. And at the one year anniversary, these "love handles" are more likely to occur on women than men. Happy anniversary honey, here is your gift! No thanks! And right back at you dear, because the study also showed that there is a 230% increased chance that both spouses will gain weight together compared to dating partners. Given all the numerous physical and psychological benefits of being in a live-in close relationship-is weight gain just one of the inevitable downsides of marriage, especially for women?

So what is the story here? The researchers speculate that live-in partners are more likely to become obese because they attach greater meaning to regular meals together, decrease physical activity, and stop worrying about attracting a mate, when compared to single or dating partners.

I think we also need to remember that after the first few years of marriage (or living together), the honeymoon aura and giddiness wear off and both partners have the stress and added responsibilities of children, work, making a living, and providing for a family. Not being able to effectively manage or cope with these stressors may lead to unhealthy eating and exercise patterns. And let's be realistic...all relationships have times when one or both partners are stressed for some reason.

The most important step is to figure out how you and your partner can de-stress together. Taking the time to chill out with your partner will increase intimacy and closeness between the two of you leading to better physical health and a reduced chance of gaining weight. Here are my three simple ways to mellow out with your live-in partner.

1. Exercise. Walking, biking, or playing a sport with each other is a good way to relieve stress and have some fun (but leave the competition on the sidelines). Your partner can motivate you to stay with your workout program or help get you off the couch when needed! But most importantly, research shows that the arousal hormones produced through exercise can make you more amorous and spice up your relationship.

2. Do a creative activity. This includes things like cooking, pottery, art, listening to music or reading to each other. These activities are relaxing when done together. They also let you use your imagination and allow you to escape from the pressures and strains of whatever is bothering you.

3. Laugh. Often times we are so concerned with financial security, children, and jobs, that we forget relationships should also be about fun and happiness. Remember to smile and laugh together. Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones. Laughter also creates a positive feeling and a sense of connection between you and your partner. Go to a comedy club, rent a funny movie, or email a comic or humorous story to your partner. Studies show that women laugh 126% more than men.

So, go live, love and laugh. And I'm just happy I don't have to face that big scale for another year!