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The world of internet self-help is quite bizarre. It’s hard to fit a lot of nuance into a tiny screen or caption.
We are bombarded with short little messages constantly. We soak in every ounce of content our brains will allow and apply these messages to our life, consciously and unconsciously.
Unfortunately, many of these sayings are limiting and they often don’t take the whole picture into consideration. When we hear things like, “no is a complete sentence,” we often try to apply that in areas of our life where it doesn’t fit. When these little inspirational statements don’t work or leave us feeling worse, we may think there’s something wrong with us.
These are a few messages that I see everywhere. They make sense for some people in some situations. Honestly, these sayings have never fit me, which is why I have translated them into (well, much longer) more appropriate sayings for my life.
- “Your attitude is everything.” Updated Version: Your attitude is important. But, there are a lot of other things that may impact your life or the outcome of this situation.
- “No days off!” Updated Version: Um, how about some days off so I don’t work myself into a breakdown? I’ll work hard when I can and rest when I need to.
- “No one will love you until you love yourself.” Updated Version: I may not pick the best people to have in my life when I don’t love myself. People can and will love me and see my value even when I don’t see it myself.
- “You don’t owe anyone anything.” Updated Version: I would like to honor any commitments I made to the best of my ability and give people kindness, respect, love, and empathy whenever I can. I don’t owe people an explanation for who I am or my choices when they are committed to misunderstanding me or disliking me.
- “No is a complete sentence.” Updated Version: No is a complete sentence in a lot of situations. But for people I love or respect, I’ll provide an explanation. It helps me build real relationships and deal with conflict in a healthy way.
- “Never apologize for being you.” Updated Version: Sometimes being “me” involves not being the best version of myself. I will apologize when the version of me I am presenting to the world doesn’t align with who I want to be.
If you see something on the internet and it doesn’t fit what you’re going through or doesn’t capture your full situation, that is normal. Everything you read is written from the perspective of the author. They are writing based on their own beliefs, experiences, and values. Sometimes a saying that is meant for everyone only captures the feelings of a select few. You have the right to discard or ignore any self-help advice that you’ve ingrained and being fact. You are the only person who gets to decide what applies to you and what doesn’t. Maybe even some of these sayings work for you; that’s ok!
What are some other ones that you’ve seen floating around? How have these self-help phrases impacted you?
