Therapists in Sebastopol, CA

Welcome! Do sadness, worry, anger, and/or shame consume you? Is a sense of dread stopping you from making some difficult decisions? What about your sense of connection, happiness, and fulfillment? I know how frustrating and exhausting this is. How and when will this change? First of all, you have made the healthy and brave choice of looking for help. Accept that you are not fundamentally flawed or a finished product. Commit to developing and putting into action the changes that will provide you the safety and security we all crave. Individual sessions are 50 minutes and couples/family sessions are 80 minutes.

My name is Wesley Ervin, and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist living in small town Lemoore, California. I work with adolescents and adults, specializing in anxiety, stress, depression, and queer identity. I work with queer therapy, geek therapy, and an eclectic approach including CCT, CBT, and EFT. I enjoy working with all sorts of clients but tend to be a better fit for queer clients and those who enjoy nerdy interests. I have experience working with a variety of identities withing the LGBTQ+ community, and especially enjoy working with my gender expansive siblings to help them with their transitions.

I prefer to work mainly with individuals who are existentially challenged (death/grief, meaning, purpose, freedom, creativity, anguish/anxiety/depression) or individuals who are open to work on attachment/relational/trauma issues from mostly a non-directive approach: present-focused, person-centered. In addition, I work with couples who are looking to improve communication and intimacy mainly from an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) lens and from a Mindful approach to Non-violent Communication (MNVC). Also, I utilize Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for those looking for or open to it.

What makes it hard to say what’s really on your mind? To get the comfort and affection you desire? What’s keeping you from showing people who you really are? Traditional talk therapy approaches all of those questions in an open-ended way that can sometimes feel like aimless exploring. Exploring is great if you're on a leisurely hike, but in the context of personal healing and getting what you want out of life, you need a map and clear direction. The map that I use comes from EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), one of the only empirically-validated couples therapy approaches, which is now also being used for individuals and families.

I help couples to change their relationship patterns so that they can feel heard, understood and loved by their partner once again. Couples usually come to me feeling intensely frustrated and stuck in reoccurring issues that, despite their best efforts, they are unable to work out. I help couples get to the heart of what is so difficult and then communicate in new ways that allow connection where there was previously only hurt, anger or distance.

Clients often come to me during a deep life transition of some kind. They are looking for clarity and deeper meaning. They are motivated, and sometimes afraid to change. Issues of grief and death, relationship, career change, loss or aging often show up; a sense of "Who am I? What next? Where am I going? Where have I been?" Many times clients are looking for deeper spiritual awareness, either wanting to renew abandoned practices, or looking for something beyond their past experience. In each case they are looking to connect more directly with life and find methods to do so. They are looking for greater balance, peace and stability.