After the 12-Step Program, Avoid the Dangerous Step 13

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A few weeks ago, while listening to the radio, I heard about a podcast called The 13th Step. As a social psychologist, I was familiar with the 12-step program advocated by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to advance recovery from addiction, but I had never heard about the 13th step.

After listening to the podcast, and researching the scientific literature, I learned that while the 12 steps are recommended by AA for recovery, the 13th step is a dangerous and harmful experience.

Research on Vulnerable Members

As authors Bogart and Pearce (2003) explain, “thirteenth-stepping” refers to the predatory practice employed by some individuals (either members or outsiders) who seek vulnerable partners at AA meetings for sexual relationships. Individuals who are not in recovery may attend meetings for the sole purpose of initiating these relationships. Individuals who are further along in their recovery process may take advantage of more vulnerable, newer members.

It is even possible that sponsors may be “thirteenth-steppers.” In the podcast, The 13th Step, reporter Lauren Chooljian from New Hampshire Public Radio details allegations regarding the sexual harassment and assault of women recovering from addiction by the founder of a recovery facility.

Although research on thirteenth-stepping is rare, the phenomenon is very familiar to those in recovery. In Bogart and Pearce’s research, they surveyed 55 women who were current or former AA members ranging in age from 17-72.

The majority of these women reported seeing thirteenth-stepping behaviors at AA meetings, whether directed toward themselves or toward other women. These behaviors ranged from flirting to unwanted sexual comments to feeling pressured to have sex.

In this small sample of women, two respondents reported being raped by men they had met at an AA meeting. Although the authors note that thirteenth-stepping behaviors may be directed toward or perpetrated by individuals of any gender or sexual orientation, the survey conducted by these authors specifically addressed women as respondents and referenced only thirteenth-stepping behaviors performed by men.

Women with a history of sexual abuse may be particularly vulnerable to thirteenth-stepping behaviors and may even blame themselves when they are victimized (Bogart and Pearce, 2003). Furthermore, individuals in recovery may not be believed when they report sexual harassment or assault.

Hold Off on New Relationships

Newly sober individuals are counseled to avoid new relationships for a one-year period for many reasons. Individuals in recovery may view the new relationship as a “replacement addiction” for drugs or alcohol. A person with substance use disorder may also be less emotionally stable, creating challenges for new relationships. And because new relationships are less stable, the end of a new relationship might spur a relapse.

It is critical that individuals in recovery, as well as therapists guiding these individuals through recovery, be aware of thirteenth-stepping behaviors and “work to eradicate the painful self-blame and silencing that is experienced by so many...who have been sexually victimized” (Bogart and Pearce, 2003, p. 47).