Songs of Subtle Suicide From Metallica

In a previous post, I wrote about the cathartic and therapeutic effects of contemplating the lyrics of Metallica’s song, “Fade to Black.” Though the song takes the form of a long suicide note, its effect is to encourage the listener to live.

In this post, I would like to consider the way two Metallica songs illustrate the concept of subtle suicide. As Church and Brooks (2009) described it, subtle suicide is characterized by ambivalence about living and a pattern of self-destructive behavior. Subtle suicide can manifest as something like a death wish. It is suicide by other means, especially through drug addiction.

The lyrics to the Metallica song “Rebel of Babylon” depict the pathetic existence, self-aggrandizement, and death of a drug addict called Rebel. No single act of shooting up is an act of suicide for Rebel, but the pattern of behavior constitutes subtle suicide in which death is welcomed, even though it is not strictly planned. Rebel is slowly killing himself by living the way he does, and he knows it. In effect, he is playing Russian roulette. Any injection could bring an overdose and death. As the song’s narrator chides poetically, “Go take your poison ink / Sign life away / Then take your dirty spoon / And dig your grave.”

Rebel’s actions and attitude suggest that he thinks it is cool to die young from addiction. The world will see him as a sensitive soul who gave all he could. The narrator mockingly imagines Rebel jabbing himself with the needle and saying, “Kill me one more time / Stigmata / Kill me one more time / Neo martyr.” Rebel sees the track marks on his arms as stigmata, the wounds of the crucified Christ. He believes he’s martyring himself, dying for a cause.

But what is the cause? In his warped vision, he must see himself as sacrificing his life for his art, believing that only by feeling the pain of life so deeply can he create art. The pain, though, must be treated with the drugs, which eventually bring more pain than relief. He is thus spiraling towards death, towards martyrdom.

It is a losing cause, and he knows it. Rebel is past the point of thinking that he can live successfully in the throes of his addiction, but his inflamed ego makes him more than a mere martyr. The narrator sees through Rebel’s grandiosity, “Renegade fights the fight / That no one wins / He claims a crown of thorns / To pierce the skin.” Rebel thinks of himself in Christlike terms. He is persecuted and misunderstood. The needles he injects are like the crown of thorns, meant to mock him but (in Rebel’s mind) a sign of his true glory.

Still, why does he do it? Why is he killing himself? The narrator has the answer when he describes Rebel’s deluded state of mind: he thinks he will achieve immortality by living on in fame. As the narrator tells the story, “He climbs his crucifix / And waits for dawn / Thinks they’ll remember him /After he’s gone.”

We find another cautionary tale in “Moth into Flame” from Metallica’s album Hardwired … to Self-Destruct, a song inspired by Amy Winehouse. Indeed, the album’s title reflects the addict’s apparent inability to avoid self-sabotage.

The song title, “Moth into Flame,” suggests a degree of freedom. We can imagine the moth having a choice, so we are perplexed as to why it would fly into the fire. Telling the story of a “pop queen,” the song is another case of subtle suicide; the diva drinks a heady brew of narcotics and fame to tame her dissatisfaction with herself. As the narrator describes it, she will “Overdose on shame and insecurity.” Unlike Rebel, the pop queen doesn’t see the end coming. In fact, she thinks she’s still on the way up, not the way out: “You’re falling, but you think you’re flying high.”

The pop queen seems to think that a life of excess is required for artistic success, and she deludes herself into thinking that she is unique in her creativity despite being a cliché in her indulgent behavior. Really, she is just acting out the same sad pattern that the public has seen many times before. As James Hetfield sings, “Same rise and fall / Who cares at all? / Seduced by fame /A moth into the flame/ Addicted to the / Fame.”

As with Rebel, the pop queen was not just addicted to drugs. She was hooked on fame. But whereas Rebel craved fame that would live on after his death, the pop queen was most interested in keeping her name in the tabloid headlines with outrageous, drug-fueled antics. The immediate aftermath of tragic death boosts notoriety, as “The vultures feast around you still.” The paparazzi take pictures, the newspapers run stories, and trend-chasing fans buy music.

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Soon enough, though, the pop queen is forgotten, “Now you’re thrown away.” Her story, her life, is disposable entertainment. People have seen it before, and they will see it again. When it comes to the real person who suffered and died, “Who cares at all?” The implicit answer to the rhetorical question is no one.

Some rock and roll saints live in infamy for a time, but most don’t last long. All the more so, regular people who follow the tempting path of the pop queen and Rebel to self-destruction are soon forgotten.

In writing “Rebel of Babylon” and "Moth into Flame," James Hetfield from Metallica embodies a better alternative, continued creativity in a life of fulfilling sobriety.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK, or the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, see the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.