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Many of us prefer to bring a friend along to the movies or a trip to the museum. This may be because we feel awkward going alone or want someone to talk to. But new research suggests an additional benefit to these shared experiences — even if you don't much interact with your museum or movie buddy. Simply sharing a visual experience with a friend can make you like it more and make it seem more real to you.
We know that when it comes to the big things in life, sharing experiences with close others matters. For example, when we're able to share good news with friends or romantic partners, it increases our happiness.1 Our close relationships also help us make sense of the world and create meaning in our lives.2 But the influence of close others can be a lot more subtle—it can, for example, affect our physical responses to stress.3,4
What about the smaller moments in our lives? There are many occasions when you spend time with friends, family, or romantic partners — just being together. You're not necessarily conversing or having physical contact. You're just together experiencing something. Maybe you're watching a movie, sitting on your porch enjoying the view, or sharing a pizza. Does sharing these moments with those you care about change the way you experience them?
Along with colleagues at Yale and the University of California, Davis, Erica Boothby investigated this possibility in research recently published in the journal Personal Relationships.5 The researchers posited that sharing a visual experience with someone could enhance it for several reasons:
- The empathy you feel for close others allows you to vicariously experience their feelings in addition to your own, which should increase the intensity of your feelings.
- We tend to feel safe and secure when we're with people we know. We're not worried about protecting ourselves or making a good impression, so we're less distracted and can focus on what we're experiencing in the moment.
- Sharing experiences allows people to establish a sense of "shared reality." Things we share with close others can seem more real.
The researchers conducted two experiments to test the effects of shared visual experiences. In both studies, undergraduate students (70 in the first study and 60 in the second study) participated in a laboratory task in which they viewed a series of photographs of scenery, including landscapes, sculptures, and natural formations. For each image, they rated how much they liked it and how real it seemed. Some participants viewed the images alone, others with a stranger, and others with a student they knew (a friend or acquaintance).
The results showed that people liked the image most, and thought they were most real, when they viewed them with a friend or acquaintance. Images viewed with a stranger were perceived as the least likable and real. (However, the difference between participants viewing images alone and those viewing them with a stranger did not always reach statistical significance.) These results show that sharing a visual experience with a friend really can make that experience better, even if you don't directly interact with the friend.
In the second experiment, the researchers also asked participants to evaluate how much they liked participating in the study itself and how real that experience was. Interestingly, these ratings were unrelated to the participants' viewing condition. Taking part in the study with another person had no effect on the enjoyability of the lab experience. If it had, then it would suggest that maybe people were just generally in a good mood with friends, leading them to judge everything more positively. But instead, it was only the shared experience of the images themselves that was affected by the friend's presence.
The authors of the study pointed out that these effects could help to explain why some events are more memorable. If things we experience with close others are perceived as more real, they are more likely to become part of our memories and part of the stories we tell about our relationships. On the other hand, memories of experiences with strangers are more likely to fade over time.
A lingering question is what happens with negative experiences. The researchers argued that sharing experiences with friends would make our responses more positive due to vicariously experiencing the friend's pleasure, the ability to focus more on the experience itself, and the tendency for the shared experience to create a mutual reality. But what if the participants had been viewing unpleasant photos, showing upsetting or disgusting images? Vicarious experience of the other person's reactions, increased focus on the experience, and a feeling that the scene was more real would likely contribute to more negative perceptions of the images. And there is some research suggesting that the presence of friends increases feelings of distress during stressful situations, perhaps for these reasons. (Interestingly, this same research showed that while the presence of a friend increased distress, the presence of a pet decreased it.)6
This research focused on people viewing photographs in a lab, but it's easy to imagine that similar effects would occur for people engaged in other types of visual activities together, such as viewing art, watching a TV show, or enjoying a beautiful view. This might explain, in part, why people have a desire to engage in these activities together, even if they don't talk much to their companion. On the other hand, if the presence of strangers can diminish these experiences, doing these activities in crowded public spaces may not be the best way to enjoy them. This may help explain the appeal of private beaches, and what's so irritating about overcrowded museums.
If shared visual experiences make the experiences more enjoyable, they may also make us feel closer to our relationship partners. Previously, I wrote about research showing that romantic partners felt more connected if they shared fictional media with them, such as TV shows or books. The authors of that study argued that such effects were due, in part, to the fictional world creating a shared reality, similar to what happens when couples share mutual friends. This latest research suggests another reason why those experiences could bring couples closer.
So the next time you're planning to check out an art exhibit or look at cute animal photos online, consider sharing it with a friend. You just may end up appreciating the experience more.
Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., is an associate professor of psychology at Albright College, who studies relationships and cyberpsychology. Follow her on Twitter for updates about social psychology, relationships, and online behavior. Read more articles by Dr. Seidman on Close Encounters.
References
1 Gable, S. L., & Reis, H. T. (2010). Good news! Capitalizing on positive events in an interpersonal context. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 42, 195–257.
2 Przybylinski, E., & Andersen, S. M. (2015). Systems of meaning and transference: Implicit significant-other activation evokes shared reality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109, 636–661.
3 Kamarck, T. W., Manuck, S. B., & Jennings, J. R. (1990). Social support reduces cardiovascular reactivity to psychological challenge: A laboratory model. Psychosomatic Medicine, 52, 42–58.
4 Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., Bane, C., Glaser, R., & Malarkey, W. B. (2003). Love, marriage, and divorce: Newlyweds’ stress hormones foreshadow relationship changes. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 71, 176–188.
5 Boothby, E. J., Smith, L. K., Clark, M. S., & Bargh, J. A. (2017). The world looks better together: How close others enhance our visual experiences. Personal Relationships. Published online before print doi: 10.1111/pere.12201
6 Allen, K. M., Blascovich, J., Tomaka, J., & Kelsey, R. M. (1991). Presence of human friends and pet dogs as moderators of autonomic responses to stress in women. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 61(4), 582-589.
