Emotionally Focused Therapists in Fair Lawn, NJ

Photo of Holistic Naturopathic Healing & Energy Psychology in Fair Lawn, NJ
Holistic Naturopathic Healing & Energy Psychology
PhD, ND
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
I've undergone rigorous training in therapies that work fast such as spirituality, hypnosis, emdr, eft, meditation, somatic therapies, traditional counseling and more blending them into a unique healing system to help you overcome your problems in a few short visits that anyone can afford.
Do You Want Improvement In Your Emotional/Mental Issues and Change Habits in 1 to 3 Sessions? .. Want To Move Forward From The Past Quickly and Easily? .. Find out how, in just 1 to 3 sessions, you could be much better, healhier, happier and accomplishing your goals, thanks to Dr. Robert's Energy Psychology & Mindy/Body Therapies. Dr. Robert has already helped hundreds of people accomplish what they desire and can help you in a short amount of time! .... It doesn't matter if you have trauma, PTSD, anxiety, want to lose weight, stop smoking, etc, I can Help You!
I've undergone rigorous training in therapies that work fast such as spirituality, hypnosis, emdr, eft, meditation, somatic therapies, traditional counseling and more blending them into a unique healing system to help you overcome your problems in a few short visits that anyone can afford.
Do You Want Improvement In Your Emotional/Mental Issues and Change Habits in 1 to 3 Sessions? .. Want To Move Forward From The Past Quickly and Easily? .. Find out how, in just 1 to 3 sessions, you could be much better, healhier, happier and accomplishing your goals, thanks to Dr. Robert's Energy Psychology & Mindy/Body Therapies. Dr. Robert has already helped hundreds of people accomplish what they desire and can help you in a short amount of time! .... It doesn't matter if you have trauma, PTSD, anxiety, want to lose weight, stop smoking, etc, I can Help You!
(201) 257-5689 View (201) 257-5689
Photo of Donna Hong, Counselor in Fair Lawn, NJ
Donna Hong
Counselor, MA, MHC, LAC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
Donna is passionate about providing a safe, nonjudgmental space to help her clients process and progress through life's joys and challenges and find hope and meaning in their journeys. She works with adults, women, couples, and adolescents, and believes in a holistic approach toward healthier living.
Donna is passionate about providing a safe, nonjudgmental space to help her clients process and progress through life's joys and challenges and find hope and meaning in their journeys. She works with adults, women, couples, and adolescents, and believes in a holistic approach toward healthier living.
(201) 956-6363 x10 View (201) 956-6363 x10
Photo of Larisa Mezhiborsky, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Larisa Mezhiborsky
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
Starting from the stresses of everyday life, trauma, or relationship issues, I am committed to providing compassionate and effective therapy to individuals seeking support and healing. As a mental health professional, I understand the profound impact that life's challenges can have on one's well-being and sense of self. I'm here to help you navigate these emotions and provide you with the tools for a happier life. I am a firm believer in the humanistic approach, drawing on empathy and compassion to establish a safe, nurturing, non-judgmental, and comfortable therapeutic environment.
Starting from the stresses of everyday life, trauma, or relationship issues, I am committed to providing compassionate and effective therapy to individuals seeking support and healing. As a mental health professional, I understand the profound impact that life's challenges can have on one's well-being and sense of self. I'm here to help you navigate these emotions and provide you with the tools for a happier life. I am a firm believer in the humanistic approach, drawing on empathy and compassion to establish a safe, nurturing, non-judgmental, and comfortable therapeutic environment.
(732) 629-9741 View (732) 629-9741
Photo of Golda Jewel Safren, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Golda Jewel Safren
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LSW, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
You're at your wits end. Things are not okay...and haven't been in a long time. It might be your marriage, your child or a personal struggle that torments you each day. It feels like you tried lots of things already, but nothing's worked Calling a therapist is not easy but you realize you can't really do this alone. You are not sure what changes you'll have to make, or if you're really ready to make them. You want a therapist who can help you make changes in a way that feels safe. Blinded by our own habitual thinking, it is almost impossible to find a new way of being-without a guide. I work with people to help them gain insight
You're at your wits end. Things are not okay...and haven't been in a long time. It might be your marriage, your child or a personal struggle that torments you each day. It feels like you tried lots of things already, but nothing's worked Calling a therapist is not easy but you realize you can't really do this alone. You are not sure what changes you'll have to make, or if you're really ready to make them. You want a therapist who can help you make changes in a way that feels safe. Blinded by our own habitual thinking, it is almost impossible to find a new way of being-without a guide. I work with people to help them gain insight
(862) 579-4179 View (862) 579-4179
Photo of David L Kriegel, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
David L Kriegel
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
I work with children and parents to provide strategic intervention combined with a supportive and non-judgmental approach. My technique is effective in reducing symptoms of anger, non-compliance, fighting, frustration and alienation in the parent/child relationship as well as the family as a whole. I have over 40 years of experience in a variety of clinical settings; all of them focused on children and adolescents. For the last 20 years until now I have been a school social worker in a private school program serving children with learning disabilities, attention deficit disorder, emotional and social problems.
I work with children and parents to provide strategic intervention combined with a supportive and non-judgmental approach. My technique is effective in reducing symptoms of anger, non-compliance, fighting, frustration and alienation in the parent/child relationship as well as the family as a whole. I have over 40 years of experience in a variety of clinical settings; all of them focused on children and adolescents. For the last 20 years until now I have been a school social worker in a private school program serving children with learning disabilities, attention deficit disorder, emotional and social problems.
(551) 243-7099 View (551) 243-7099
Photo of Sheila Robinson-Kiss, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Sheila Robinson-Kiss
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LCSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
I focus on short-term solution focused healing: Personal Rebalancing, Relationship Resolution Issues, Emotional Management Support, and Interactive Healing. I will help you realign your thinking and or successfully recover after life, relationships, and trauma have negatively impacted your well-being. Are you in need of a safe space to heal, recover, and share your thoughts? Over 25 years of experience providing counseling, writing books, lecturing, and hosting healing retreats. I walk you through your self-health journey with compassion. Visit me at youtube (Sheila Robinson-Kiss).
I focus on short-term solution focused healing: Personal Rebalancing, Relationship Resolution Issues, Emotional Management Support, and Interactive Healing. I will help you realign your thinking and or successfully recover after life, relationships, and trauma have negatively impacted your well-being. Are you in need of a safe space to heal, recover, and share your thoughts? Over 25 years of experience providing counseling, writing books, lecturing, and hosting healing retreats. I walk you through your self-health journey with compassion. Visit me at youtube (Sheila Robinson-Kiss).
(201) 571-1836 View (201) 571-1836
Photo of Debbie Oberlander, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Debbie Oberlander
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
If you are feeling stuck, anxious, depressed, struggling with feeling "not good enough", experiencing relationship issues, or just wanting to live a more satisfying life, I can help. Respecting your needs, individuality, and dignity, I tailor our work to produce the best results. Beyond my clinical expertise, I bring warmth, compassion and, (I am told) a sense of humor to our sessions.
If you are feeling stuck, anxious, depressed, struggling with feeling "not good enough", experiencing relationship issues, or just wanting to live a more satisfying life, I can help. Respecting your needs, individuality, and dignity, I tailor our work to produce the best results. Beyond my clinical expertise, I bring warmth, compassion and, (I am told) a sense of humor to our sessions.
(203) 941-6528 View (203) 941-6528
Photo of Rosa Taccetta, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Rosa Taccetta
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
NO Waitlist! I can begin right of way to work with you on feeling less stressed, depressed, and anxious . Give me a call so that we can start your journey to feel better. With new coping skills, perspectives, and refocus on what’s important, you can live a more balanced life. Let's work on this wellness together.
NO Waitlist! I can begin right of way to work with you on feeling less stressed, depressed, and anxious . Give me a call so that we can start your journey to feel better. With new coping skills, perspectives, and refocus on what’s important, you can live a more balanced life. Let's work on this wellness together.
(917) 563-4273 View (917) 563-4273
Photo of New Hope Psychotherapy LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
New Hope Psychotherapy LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LICSW, SIFI, CSAT-C
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
Hi, I'm Genesis Urena, founder of New Hope Psychotherapy. We are dedicated to working with clients seeking transformative experiences of self-discovery and understanding. We are committed to supporting individuals, families and couples struggling with relationship conflicts, generational trauma, work/life balance issues, depression, anxiety, and traumatic experiences. It’s hard to feel motivated when you’re feeling stuck at work, uncertain about your relationships, or trapped in the spirals of worry and lack of motivation. We are dedicated to helping you reach your goals with a relationship built on compassion and gentle guidance.
Hi, I'm Genesis Urena, founder of New Hope Psychotherapy. We are dedicated to working with clients seeking transformative experiences of self-discovery and understanding. We are committed to supporting individuals, families and couples struggling with relationship conflicts, generational trauma, work/life balance issues, depression, anxiety, and traumatic experiences. It’s hard to feel motivated when you’re feeling stuck at work, uncertain about your relationships, or trapped in the spirals of worry and lack of motivation. We are dedicated to helping you reach your goals with a relationship built on compassion and gentle guidance.
(929) 374-2370 View (929) 374-2370
Photo of Danielle Amaya, Counselor in Fair Lawn, NJ
Danielle Amaya
Counselor, LAC
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
My target populations are children, adolescents, and young adults. I am passionate about assisting these individuals to overcome struggles that commonly occur within these periods of development such as Anxiety, Depression, Mood Regulation, Stress Management, Adjustment, School Avoidance, and Oppositional Defiance. I help my clients to develop coping skills, build resilience, and engage in social skills training. I take into account the frequent co-morbidity between the aforementioned concerns and diagnoses such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and other various Learning/Developmental Disabilities.
My target populations are children, adolescents, and young adults. I am passionate about assisting these individuals to overcome struggles that commonly occur within these periods of development such as Anxiety, Depression, Mood Regulation, Stress Management, Adjustment, School Avoidance, and Oppositional Defiance. I help my clients to develop coping skills, build resilience, and engage in social skills training. I take into account the frequent co-morbidity between the aforementioned concerns and diagnoses such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and other various Learning/Developmental Disabilities.
(973) 604-4254 View (973) 604-4254
Photo of Michael Pagana, Marriage & Family Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Michael Pagana
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT, CSAT, BCC
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
I offer affordable & knowledgeable sexual addiction recovery care that is Biblically centered, and clinically sound. I'm a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) trained thru IITAP. I'm also a trained thru APSATS in the multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I work as a Marriage & Family Therapist, and Board Certified Coach. I alsoprovide pastoral counseling if desired, and I have experience supporting Jewish couples. I will utilize an individual's faith perspective to their desire or comfort. I help men and their partners, heal and grow, from unwanted sexual behaviors, infidelity & partner betrayal. Affair recovery is possible.
I offer affordable & knowledgeable sexual addiction recovery care that is Biblically centered, and clinically sound. I'm a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) trained thru IITAP. I'm also a trained thru APSATS in the multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I work as a Marriage & Family Therapist, and Board Certified Coach. I alsoprovide pastoral counseling if desired, and I have experience supporting Jewish couples. I will utilize an individual's faith perspective to their desire or comfort. I help men and their partners, heal and grow, from unwanted sexual behaviors, infidelity & partner betrayal. Affair recovery is possible.
(845) 867-2405 View (845) 867-2405
Photo of Erica Dietsche, Licensed Professional Counselor in Fair Lawn, NJ
Erica Dietsche
Licensed Professional Counselor, LPC, MA
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), I take a cognitive and holistic approach to help people of all ages identify and work toward realistic, achievable solutions in all areas of their lives—including those related to anxiety, relationships, transitions, parenting, health, careers, school, and many other issues. My goal in a counseling journey is to help you understand yourself, and set and accomplish your goals.
As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), I take a cognitive and holistic approach to help people of all ages identify and work toward realistic, achievable solutions in all areas of their lives—including those related to anxiety, relationships, transitions, parenting, health, careers, school, and many other issues. My goal in a counseling journey is to help you understand yourself, and set and accomplish your goals.
(862) 212-0482 View (862) 212-0482
Photo of Susie Wilson, Counselor in Fair Lawn, NJ
Susie Wilson
Counselor, MA, LPC, LMHC, LCPC, CCPS
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
You are not your story! If you feel alone, unseen or invisible, asking "what's the matter with me?"or "why aren't I enough?" I want to create an emotionally safe space for you to be seen and heard, to help you safely process whatever events, feelings, or family of origin issues have led up to where you find yourself today. I am a trauma-focused therapist seeing clients virtually throughout NY, NJ, and MD, passionate about my clients finding freedom, healing, and self-kindness through our work. I specialize in betrayal trauma, childhood abuse and CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect), addictions, emotional regulation, and suicide loss.
You are not your story! If you feel alone, unseen or invisible, asking "what's the matter with me?"or "why aren't I enough?" I want to create an emotionally safe space for you to be seen and heard, to help you safely process whatever events, feelings, or family of origin issues have led up to where you find yourself today. I am a trauma-focused therapist seeing clients virtually throughout NY, NJ, and MD, passionate about my clients finding freedom, healing, and self-kindness through our work. I specialize in betrayal trauma, childhood abuse and CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect), addictions, emotional regulation, and suicide loss.
(845) 237-5049 x10 View (845) 237-5049 x10
Photo of Lana Grintsvayg, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Lana Grintsvayg
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW-R
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
I am a compassionate, experienced (more then 20 years of practice), positive therapist. I will help and support you while you are dealing with problems, burdens, or fears that come your way. I work with children and adults, who experience difficulties coping with challenges of daily living, adjusting to situation change or struggling with relationship problems. My approach has a collaborative, integrative perspective, deeply rooted in humanistic and person-centered values.
I am a compassionate, experienced (more then 20 years of practice), positive therapist. I will help and support you while you are dealing with problems, burdens, or fears that come your way. I work with children and adults, who experience difficulties coping with challenges of daily living, adjusting to situation change or struggling with relationship problems. My approach has a collaborative, integrative perspective, deeply rooted in humanistic and person-centered values.
(201) 345-1309 View (201) 345-1309
Photo of Gloria Leder, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Gloria Leder
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
I have over 30 years of experience as a practicing clinician who uses a variety of treatment approaches, in order to provide you with the best possible outcome. My goal is to help you to navigate in any of the life experiences or situations that have created an impasse. I am interested in supporting you to achieve your best possible way of living. I work in a psychodynamic manner as well as a more direct solution focused paradigm. This can include using DBT, CBT, EMDR, and mindfulness. I see individuals and/or couples. I am strength based, in working with you to navigate towards healing.
I have over 30 years of experience as a practicing clinician who uses a variety of treatment approaches, in order to provide you with the best possible outcome. My goal is to help you to navigate in any of the life experiences or situations that have created an impasse. I am interested in supporting you to achieve your best possible way of living. I work in a psychodynamic manner as well as a more direct solution focused paradigm. This can include using DBT, CBT, EMDR, and mindfulness. I see individuals and/or couples. I am strength based, in working with you to navigate towards healing.
(201) 984-1590 View (201) 984-1590
Photo of Adult & Adolescent Learning Disability Ctr, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Adult & Adolescent Learning Disability Ctr
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, ScD
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
Struggling with reading, overwhelmed by math, and challenged by time management? You're not alone. Traditional methods might not have worked for you, but there's hope. Dr. Fradkov's innovative strength-based approach effectively addresses dyslexia, dyscalculia, and executive dysfunction. Our method recognizes that these challenges often coexist with untapped abilities like intuitive problem-solving, creative thinking, and adaptive improvisation. We don't just give you detailed instructions; we empower you to harness your unique strengths to navigate and overcome these hurdles. Discover and leverage your hidden talents! I'll help.
Struggling with reading, overwhelmed by math, and challenged by time management? You're not alone. Traditional methods might not have worked for you, but there's hope. Dr. Fradkov's innovative strength-based approach effectively addresses dyslexia, dyscalculia, and executive dysfunction. Our method recognizes that these challenges often coexist with untapped abilities like intuitive problem-solving, creative thinking, and adaptive improvisation. We don't just give you detailed instructions; we empower you to harness your unique strengths to navigate and overcome these hurdles. Discover and leverage your hidden talents! I'll help.
(201) 479-4334 View (201) 479-4334
Photo of Dr. Inna Matov, Psychologist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Dr. Inna Matov
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
As a psychologist, I assist people in acquiring greater creative and emotional competencies, reconnecting with themselves and significant others, and removing obstacles to personal happiness and joy. Psychotherapy is about personal growth, healing after emotional trauma and grief, and realizing one's fullest potential. In therapy sessions we examine meaningful relationships, communication styles, and barriers to success with a goal of restoring a sense of balance to your life and, by extension, to the lives of others who care deeply about you. For those who wish to deepen their self-understanding, we explore the unconscious by analyzing dreams, memories, and fantasies.
As a psychologist, I assist people in acquiring greater creative and emotional competencies, reconnecting with themselves and significant others, and removing obstacles to personal happiness and joy. Psychotherapy is about personal growth, healing after emotional trauma and grief, and realizing one's fullest potential. In therapy sessions we examine meaningful relationships, communication styles, and barriers to success with a goal of restoring a sense of balance to your life and, by extension, to the lives of others who care deeply about you. For those who wish to deepen their self-understanding, we explore the unconscious by analyzing dreams, memories, and fantasies.
(650) 516-6741 View (650) 516-6741
Photo of Karin Schoenfeld, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Karin Schoenfeld
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSSW, LCSW
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
Waitlist for new clients
My practice is dedicated to helping those who feel they have no where to turn or who have felt societal stigmas surrounding mental health. My strong passion and dedication for helping teens and young adults through counseling and advocacy is the foundation of my practice. Finding a place where you can feel safe to be yourself without any judgement is the first step in discovering the path towards healing and empowerment. Areas of focus include: anxiety, depression, self harm, self esteem/worth, eating disorders, bullying, LGBTQ discovery and coming out, social issues, sexual assault and relationship dynamics.
My practice is dedicated to helping those who feel they have no where to turn or who have felt societal stigmas surrounding mental health. My strong passion and dedication for helping teens and young adults through counseling and advocacy is the foundation of my practice. Finding a place where you can feel safe to be yourself without any judgement is the first step in discovering the path towards healing and empowerment. Areas of focus include: anxiety, depression, self harm, self esteem/worth, eating disorders, bullying, LGBTQ discovery and coming out, social issues, sexual assault and relationship dynamics.
(551) 655-2219 View (551) 655-2219
Photo of Jessica Nick, Licensed Professional Counselor in Fair Lawn, NJ
Jessica Nick
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LPC
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410  (Online Only)
People need solutions that work in real life. What I love most about the work I do, is that although I initially see people when they feel challenged or confused, as we work together they find courage, develop new skills, and feel more confident about themselves and in their lives. I have a passion for helping others, and with my insight and creative approach, I am able to help people to make profound, positive life changes. The purpose of my practice is to provide a trustworthy, non-judgmental space for exploration, and reflection.
People need solutions that work in real life. What I love most about the work I do, is that although I initially see people when they feel challenged or confused, as we work together they find courage, develop new skills, and feel more confident about themselves and in their lives. I have a passion for helping others, and with my insight and creative approach, I am able to help people to make profound, positive life changes. The purpose of my practice is to provide a trustworthy, non-judgmental space for exploration, and reflection.
(201) 512-8995 View (201) 512-8995
Photo of Carol Locurcio, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Fair Lawn, NJ
Carol Locurcio
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
As a stroke survivor, I understand the unique challenges that come with healing. What I know to be true is that consistency with patience will lead to resilience. I work with sensitivity and a focus on helping clients develop skills and strengths needed to reclaim their lives. Challenges are difficult. We all have them. Therapy can be a highly effective tool to assist in life's challenges and offer alternative strategies towards a solution. The time is now. Your time is now. I would like to help you create a supportive environment for those who struggle with ongoing patterns of self-defeating behaviors.
As a stroke survivor, I understand the unique challenges that come with healing. What I know to be true is that consistency with patience will lead to resilience. I work with sensitivity and a focus on helping clients develop skills and strengths needed to reclaim their lives. Challenges are difficult. We all have them. Therapy can be a highly effective tool to assist in life's challenges and offer alternative strategies towards a solution. The time is now. Your time is now. I would like to help you create a supportive environment for those who struggle with ongoing patterns of self-defeating behaviors.
(973) 358-6272 View (973) 358-6272
Emotionally Focused Therapists

Who is emotionally focused therapy for?

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is for couples who are emotionally distressed, stuck in an unsatisfying relationship pattern or feeling deeply alienated. They may even believe the relationship is beyond repair. Very often, the partners display intense anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal in the relationship. In addition, EFT is helpful to couples and individuals who have difficulty expressing emotions and those who have trouble regulating emotions.

Why do people need emotionally focused therapy?

People need emotionally focused therapy because the need for others is built into the brain, but the pressures of daily life can erode feelings of love, and couples often do not have the skills to find their way back to the comfort of each other. Instead, they may be stuck in repetitive patterns of anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal. Emotionally focused therapy regards such strong negative feelings as expressions of protest over the loss of connection and turns them into pathways of reconnection.

What happens in emotionally focused therapy?

Over the course of eight to 20 weekly sessions, couples de-escalate their negative emotional reactivity to one another so that they can listen to each other and be responsive to each other’s needs. Then the deep emotional and physical bond is restored, giving partners a sense of comfort and security, which they can use to solve whatever problems come their way. The therapist plays an active role, helping partners understand how anger and withdrawal are actually misguided cries for connection.

What problems does emotionally focused therapy treat?

EFT is designed to help couples stuck in dysfunctional relationship patterns regain closeness and rebuild their relationship. Typically, such couples experience considerable distress, with partners feeling alienated and distrustful of one another, not certain their relationship can survive. EFT is also helpful to individuals experiencing attachment-related fears of loss; it helps them learn to use their fears as a way of eliciting the closeness they desire.