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Key points
- You need to consider your child's strengths and limitations as a learner.
- Think about your budget and what you can afford to spend on school.
- It's important you do your research and visit different schools.
As you begin selecting a school for your son or daughter, be clear about what your child’s strengths and limitations are as a learner.
Where does your child excel? What causes problems and frustration? Is your child a creative spirit or a structure seeker? Is your child an independent learner or a child who prefers working in groups? Is your son or daughter outgoing or more reserved?
Be certain about how much you can afford to pay for school and stick to your budget. There is no agreement among gifted educators on whether or not public school is better or worse than private school.
Advocates of public school believe that public school is better because of the diversity of students and the lack of elitism that can exist in private schools.
Advocates of private education believe that the curriculum and instruction in private school is more individualized and as a result, that gifted kids are better educated. There is no definitive research on this dilemma, just a lot of opinions and speculation.
Most parents look to other parents, teachers, and educational experts as a part of their decision-making. You, at the end of your research, have to make the choice because every child and every family has different needs.
There is no one-size-fits-all choice for gifted and talented children, who vary greatly within the general parameters of gifted and talented. To help you find the best option, I am suggesting 11 strategies based on my experiences with gifted families that will allow you to make a good-enough choice.
Remember, there is no perfect choice, just the choice that fits into your ability to get your child to school and back, connect with the teachers, and make sure your son or daughter’s homework is being completed. If a school can provide this kind of connection to your family, then it will be the right one for your child and family. And let me assure you, no matter how hard you try to make the best choice in the world there will be unforeseen problems.
Here are the important issues to consider when choosing a school, whether private or public.
1. Teachers and administrators have experience working with gifted children and their families. And their experience is apparent because they know that gifted children have special learning needs, emotional intensity, and some degree of social development immaturity. If the school personnel suggest that “all children are gifted,” this is not going to be a good match for your child and family because they are not taking into account the intensity of the truly gifted child.
2. A parent is able to stay with their child if necessary when separation anxiety is a stress for the child. If the teacher says, “All children cry and miss their parents,” you can surmise that this school does not know about the intensity of the gifted child and will not necessarily be helpful.
3. My first choice is a project-centered curriculum that uses a learning-by-doing approach to instruction, as this is the very best way to educate gifted kids. In other words, teaching is not based on memorizing facts and concepts but focused on understanding concepts through hands-on learning. This approach helps to prevent the boredom of the gifted child (the gifted child becomes bored easily; gifted children are far from boring) and their perfectionistic attitudes. Project-centered learning promotes imagination and deep thought, which challenges the gifted.
4. The school values the importance of individual attention for each child.
5. Teachers and administrators understand that gifted children have social skills problems. They need help learning to deal with non-gifted children who don’t understand or share their interests.
6. The teachers are aware that gifted kids learn quickly and that acceleration is encouraged when a faster pace is necessary. Awareness of the difficulty a gifted child has when they are not good at a subject or social interaction is also critical. Most often, gifted children have learning highs and lows, which makes their educational development extremely challenging for parents and teachers.
7. Parents are welcome to participate in classroom activities. Parent participation is important to gifted children, who are often very reliant on their parents when they are young. And parents like to know how their child is doing in the classroom.
8. Parent education and conferences are a part of the school policies, as this type of communication ensures that issues that you are having with homework or friendships with your son or daughter will be understood and addressed.
9. The emotional tone of school revolves around encouragement. Criticism is not a way of teaching children to behave.
10. The rules of the classroom are understandable to children. School rules are respected and followed. Consequences for breaking rules are reasonable and adhered to without favoritism or excuses.
11. Mistakes are seen as a normal part of learning. Sharing mistakes in the classroom will counterbalance the perfectionism of the gifted child.
Conclusions
Considering the choice of school as an important issue is extremely valuable to your son or daughter’s overall development. However, taking a perfectionistic attitude about having to get your decision absolutely right and faultless will lead to unhappiness for you and your child: There is no perfect choice.
While trying to predict what will be best is an important strategy, often some variables are hidden from sight and will lead you in the wrong direction. Stay positive and focused on what you are doing but be aware that there may be some disappointments.
If your child gets upset about school try to stay calm and come up with a reasonable solution. My advice is, do not react too strongly, as your reaction could make everything harder to resolve.
