Daring to Love

Fantasies

Recognizing and Escaping the Fantasy Bond

Tamsen Firestone on March 8, 2022

Taking concrete steps to challenge a fantasy bond empowers us to move beyond the attitudes and actions that have kept us from living our best, most authentic, lives.

Taking concrete steps to challenge a fantasy bond empowers us to move beyond the attitudes and actions that have kept us from living our best, most authentic, lives.

Cognition

No Resolutions for Me

Tamsen Firestone on January 12, 2022

Instead of creating resolutions that create more expectations and pressure for me, I’m taking a much-needed break this year.

Instead of creating resolutions that create more expectations and pressure for me, I’m taking a much-needed break this year.

Child Development

How Does Going Home Affect Our Mental Health?

Tamsen Firestone on December 28, 2021

When we go home to our families, we walk in the door as an adult. Yet childhood emotions can be revived in this old, familiar environment.

When we go home to our families, we walk in the door as an adult. Yet childhood emotions can be revived in this old, familiar environment.

Cognition

Unknowingly Guilty of Magical Thinking

Tamsen Firestone on November 3, 2021

In my magical world, I was missing out on the big, messy feelings and interactions and experiences that give life depth and texture.

In my magical world, I was missing out on the big, messy feelings and interactions and experiences that give life depth and texture.

Relationships

Advice From a Mother of the Bride

Tamsen Firestone on September 16, 2021

These are the pieces of advice that I have to offer my daughter to support her in keeping this most intimate of relationships alive and vital.

These are the pieces of advice that I have to offer my daughter to support her in keeping this most intimate of relationships alive and vital.

Relationships

Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Tamsen Firestone on August 4, 2021

To keep a relationship real, it’s best to avoid getting caught up in the fantasy of the perfect relationship.

To keep a relationship real, it’s best to avoid getting caught up in the fantasy of the perfect relationship.

Fantasies

How a Fantasy Bond Can Throw a Relationship Off Balance

Tamsen Firestone on May 27, 2021

These five questions can help you identify if a destructive pattern known as a "fantasy bond" is having a harmful effect on your relationship.

These five questions can help you identify if a destructive pattern known as a "fantasy bond" is having a harmful effect on your relationship.

Relationships

Being Vulnerable to Love

Tamsen Firestone on April 28, 2021

There are behaviors that we can engage in that will help us be more vulnerable: being generous, asking for what we want, and expressing and accepting affection. 

There are behaviors that we can engage in that will help us be more vulnerable: being generous, asking for what we want, and expressing and accepting affection. 

Trauma

Recovering from the Trauma of This Past Year

Tamsen Firestone on March 30, 2021

Understanding what trauma is, how people react to it, and how to recover from it will help us make the transition back into our lives again.

Understanding what trauma is, how people react to it, and how to recover from it will help us make the transition back into our lives again.

Mating

Going Back Out Into the Dating World

Tamsen Firestone on March 2, 2021

Now is the perfect opportunity to take a moment to think about what you are looking for going forward and to reflect on what you have been pursuing up to now.

Now is the perfect opportunity to take a moment to think about what you are looking for going forward and to reflect on what you have been pursuing up to now.

Anger

Accepting Our Anger During the Pandemic

Tamsen Firestone on January 28, 2021

When we deny our anger, we begin to deny what is meaningful to us, and we become dull and lose our vitality.

When we deny our anger, we begin to deny what is meaningful to us, and we become dull and lose our vitality.

Attachment

The Challenge of Receiving

Tamsen Firestone on January 2, 2021

Our particular style of attachment may be getting in the way of our being able to accept and fully appreciate what we're receiving.

Our particular style of attachment may be getting in the way of our being able to accept and fully appreciate what we're receiving.

Gratitude

A Time to Be Grateful

Tamsen Firestone on December 4, 2020

It’s challenging to be grateful when faced with hardships on a daily basis. But feeling gratitude is important for our mental health.

It’s challenging to be grateful when faced with hardships on a daily basis. But feeling gratitude is important for our mental health.

Depression

The Emotional Impact of the Prolonged Pandemic

Tamsen Firestone on October 30, 2020

During this “psychodemic,” we are all suffering from “emotional inflammation” exacerbated by the traumatic events of our current lives.

During this “psychodemic,” we are all suffering from “emotional inflammation” exacerbated by the traumatic events of our current lives.

Motivation

Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion

Tamsen Firestone on September 21, 2020

Being mindful of the qualities that define us as human beings can help to keep us connected to ourselves and others.

Being mindful of the qualities that define us as human beings can help to keep us connected to ourselves and others.

Relationships

Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion

Tamsen Firestone on September 1, 2020

We can achieve meaning when we ground our goals for a better life in sound mental health principles that reflect an understanding of what it truly means to be a human being.

We can achieve meaning when we ground our goals for a better life in sound mental health principles that reflect an understanding of what it truly means to be a human being.

Trauma

Dealing With Today’s Trauma

Tamsen Firestone on August 3, 2020

For many people, this current trauma is unknowingly triggering feelings that have been buried from traumas that took place in the past.

For many people, this current trauma is unknowingly triggering feelings that have been buried from traumas that took place in the past.

Relationships

How to Get Your Relationship Out of a Rut

Tamsen Firestone on June 29, 2020

There are actions couples can start taking today to stop taking each other for granted and re-enliven their relationship.

There are actions couples can start taking today to stop taking each other for granted and re-enliven their relationship.

Relationships

Maintaining Your Individuality During COVID-19

Tamsen Firestone on May 22, 2020

A fundamental factor that contributes to the success of a relationship is that both partners maintain and appreciate their individuality.

A fundamental factor that contributes to the success of a relationship is that both partners maintain and appreciate their individuality.

Fantasies

Daring to Love in the Time of Coronavirus

Tamsen Firestone on April 20, 2020

Being quarantined together along with the routine of daily life and lack of outside relationships and interests creates ideal conditions for a fantasy bond in a couple.

Being quarantined together along with the routine of daily life and lack of outside relationships and interests creates ideal conditions for a fantasy bond in a couple.