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Life Administration: What Caregivers Need to Know
What a caregiver needs to know to help their loved one manage life's tasks.
Posted April 15, 2024 Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
Key points
- It is helpful to know a loved one's wishes in the event they need someone to make decisions on their behalf.
- A power of attorney and health care directive are two key documents that can assist in decision-making.
- Preparing now can prevent stress later.
If you’re a caregiver, you may want to know the whereabouts (or lack thereof) of the following:
- Health care directive.
- Power of attorney.
- Long-term care insurance (or related planning).
- Veteran Affairs benefits (if applicable).
- Signatures on bank accounts.
- Automatic payments for recurring bills.
- Attorney.
- Accountant.
- Up-to-date identification cards.
- Location of Social Security cards and birth certificates.
Read on for more.
What do I need to know?
If you’ve become a caregiver, you may have been prepared by your loved one. More likely, you have not been and now is a good time to gather some information.
Do they have a power of attorney (POA) in place? If so, are you it?
If a POA is in place, you’ll want to know about it. That’s how decisions can be made in the event that your person is unable to make decisions for themselves. It is something that’s in effect only during the person’s lifetime—and it expires the moment they die—and it is important. It can mean the difference between having your hands tied in trying to help, feeling unable to manage a situation, and making changes and decisions to help your person maintain some dignity and order in their life. You or someone else can keep things from going off the rails so they can focus on healing.
What does the POA mean to them? What’s the gist and what does it mean by law?
If legal documents were always clear, we wouldn’t need lawyers. The POA itself could be clear on the surface, but it’s worth discussing with your loved one what they imagine a situation could be.
Having this conversation serves two purposes. One, it provides an opportunity to get clarity about what the possibilities are, even if those possibilities are nearly unfathomable. Two, it demonstrates to your loved one that you are thinking ahead and wish to honor their desires independent of template language on paper.
Maybe one person is listed as the POA, maybe several. What are the expectations for consultation among family and friends? Who is most likely to be in the best position to actually use the powers? Is everyone who needs to know aware of how things are laid out?
Does your loved one have a health care directive?
Health care directives are often fairly standardized language about what level of intervention someone may want—or not want—in the event of a major health incident or overall deterioration. It’s important to know who is listed as the agent as well as the alternate health care agent in case the primary person is unable or unwilling.
It’s also important to be familiar with the language in the health care directive. It should outline your person’s perspectives on life-saving interventions—when to do them, to what extent, and when to stop. It tells you what quality of life theoretically means to them in the event of serious illness and when they would prefer to let go.
This can be a sensitive issue for some folks. It sounds like a matter-of-fact document, but there can be deep-seated fears related to sharing them. Some may worry that the doctors won’t work as hard to save their life if they see a health care directive. Many worry about being a burden on their friends and family, yet sincerely want to live a long and meaningful life, even if the definition of that evolves along the way. Some may even think that their value would be reduced to organs for a younger sick person because we live in an ageist society.
These fears are real and should be treated as much. They are the very reason it is important to have these conversations. Your loved one may be feeling their mortality in new ways and it is a great kindness to express your intentions: to honor their wishes as they express them and to fervently advocate for their quality of life.
People flippantly refer to the agent as the person who “will decide when to pull the plug.” This is delusional on their part and I urge you not to believe that things are so simple. It is unlikely that your person will be strolling along one day, with no cares in the world, then land in a hospital, and you receive a call asking if you’d like the doctors to “pull the plug.”
That’s not how it works.
Does your loved one have insurance? What types?
There’s an insurance for everything. I’m not talking about life insurance here, but the types of insurance a person may benefit from during their lifetime.
Long-term care insurance is a thing that some people have. Your loved ones may have been early adopters so they have a lifetime benefit policy, which means that most of their long-term care expenses—assisted living, memory care, or a nursing home—would be covered for their lifetime, however long they need it, once the deductible is paid.
It’s more common to have a policy that covers for a limited period of time, say three or five years. In any case, it’s useful to know if that is an option, if your person intends to self-finance any care, or if they really have no plan at all.
I don’t need to tell you that health insurance is important. Even if your person is old enough to qualify for Medicare, they likely need supplemental insurance as well. Scan all their insurance cards and IDs in case a health care provider needs them and your loved one doesn’t have them on their person.
If they are a veteran, then they may also qualify for benefits from Veterans Affairs. This coverage can make the difference between an expensive medication being fully covered or paying for it in cash. It can also mean nurses, physical therapy, and occupational therapy in your own home each week. Scan that card, too.
A foundation
While sorting out these details will take time, even if it's just a matter of locating and scanning documents, it can reduce stress during times of crisis when a caregiver is able to readily provide the documentation needed for the situation. And when that moment comes, you'll remember that you're in this role because you're so capable.
