The Importance of Presence-Based Living

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I want to tell you a story about a man I know. To society and himself, this man had everything he could need to be happy. He had a stable job with a sizable income, a family, and he always reached the goals he set out for himself. There was only one problem. He wasn’t happy.

Not only was he dissatisfied, but he would also reminisce about the days he was present. When he was younger and putting himself through school and just getting by, he remembers being very happy.

He would surf when he wanted to, hang out with friends, or he could go for a run. There are so many things he did that didn’t cost anything, but all brought him so much joy.

This man had big goals about becoming successful and making money one day. How is it that he achieved all of his dreams and goals but was not any happier? To examine this predicament, it is important to highlight a very core truth that exists in our reality.

In life, no matter what we have, we could always have more. If we always focus on achieving more, we risk not being happy in the present moment.

So often, when “it” arrives, when the dream is accomplished, we're quickly looking for the next thing instead of enjoying what's happening right now. At its core, this is why so many people struggle in life. Waiting for life to change instead of celebrating and loving the way life is, is a definitive way to always be unhappy.

Always waiting for someday means we're missing out on all we have right now. I would bet that there are probably many things that we could celebrate that we have right now. Though I know this is simplistic, it works. Right now is where happiness is. Right now is where we need to live.

You may be asking, “If I am focused on being happy with where I am, how can I still become a better human? What about goal setting and self-improvement?” My response would be: Yes! These are necessary and healthy practices to have in life.

You can strive to reach goals but be conscious of how much your emotional state is weighing on accomplishing the goal. Ask yourself what you are expecting to change when you reach this goal. Do not wait for someday to be happy. You hold the power to choose happiness today!

Goals exist to point you in the direction of a path you find fulfilling. The achievement of the goal itself is not the purpose of the goal. So, set goals you feel good pursuing.

For example, let’s look at art as a profession and the goal setting that could go along with following this path. Like any skill, taking classes is beneficial for improvement. So, in this case, say you take a class to earn your MFA. If your goal is to get a degree, you also benefit from engaging in creating art along the way. It's a win-win. We'll get a skill that we learn, and we get to do what we love.

If your goal is to make a lot of money or be ultra-successful, you may engage in a journey of achieving that goal that makes you miserable. Society has a twisted view of sacrificing the moment for an end goal. What if you never reach that goal? Would the sacrifice be worth it? Or even worse, what if you reach the goal and you are still unhappy.

Think back and remember a time when you desperately wanted something. Do you remember thinking about how happy you would finally be when you got it? When you got it, you thought you would be the happiest camper on the planet, but when that day came, it wasn’t what you expected it would be. Or maybe, you got a thrill when achieving the goal, but the thrill didn’t last very long. Then like clockwork, you thought of another thing to achieve or goal to pursue.

Taking a calculated risk of making goals that allow you to be present and enjoy every step of the journey is a much better way to live your life. Asking yourself what journey you would enjoy engaging in and choosing to follow that path is the key to fulfilling presence. Being happy someday isn’t enough for me, and I would guess it isn’t enough for you either.

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A helpful guide to keep in mind is engaging in present moments that you won’t regret the next day. You could potentially live in the now and engage in high-risk activities like having unprotected sex or binge drinking. This is being present, but the risks involved could be extremely high. Not only that, but this type of presence can leave somebody feeling unfulfilled in life long term.

Powerful wisdom exists in engaging in presence that makes us happy at the moment and sets us up to continue on the path of happiness in the future as well. Having the awareness to analyze what we are engaging in at that moment and how it benefits our lives going forward is a conscious approach to living a beautiful life.

In so many ways, we could come to the end of our days much sooner than we thought. Wouldn't it be better to accept the reality that today may be your last, or that I may only have a few years left of my life, and if that is true, I will suck the marrow out of life and live as well as I possibly can.

Potentially, the last day of your life could be today. How could you ever live life with the mentality of “someday” knowing it will never come? Instead, ask: What is worth my happiness today?