The Case for Embracing Our Emotions

By Julia Ditzer, M.Sc., and James Gross, Ph.D.

Imagine being in a cozy coffee shop. People around you chat softly, and cups clink as you sit across from someone you’ve recently met and hope to get to know better. Your conversation goes beyond the usual small talk. You open up and share your feelings. As you do so, they reciprocate, and something special happens: your connection deepens.

In a world that so often values thinking “logically” and holding back emotions, these genuine moments can be rare and the idea of being more rather than less emotional with others may seem counterintuitive. Society has shaped our collective beliefs about emotions, often leading us to think of emotions as distracting and unwelcome. However, these beliefs might not be true and could be holding us back. In fact, sharing our emotions can benefit our self-awareness, mental well-being, decision-making, and relationships.

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Benefits of embracing our emotions

• Emotions can help us learn about ourselves. Embracing our emotions enables a deeper understanding of ourselves. Rather than suppressing feelings, acknowledging and exploring them can lead to increased self-awareness—for instance, we get insight into our needs and whether they are being met or not. This heightened self-awareness, in turn, becomes a catalyst for personal growth, as we learn to navigate and overcome challenges with resilience and grace.
• Emotions can help us relieve stress. Research consistently shows that being aware of our emotions goes hand in hand with effective emotion regulation and resilience in the face of stress. The act of expressing emotions, whether through talking, writing, dancing, or other outlets, can serve as a natural stress reliever. Bottling up emotions often leads to increased stress levels, whereas acknowledging and processing them in healthy ways provides a cathartic release, promoting a sense of calm and mental well-being.
• Emotions can help us make good decisions. Emotions play a crucial role in decision-making. Rather than divorcing ourselves from emotions when faced with choices, embracing them can provide valuable insights reflecting our “gut” reaction about what is good or bad for us. Emotional awareness allows us to make more informed decisions by considering the emotional meaning and potential impact of a situation.
• Emotions can help us connect with others. Emotions serve as a powerful tool for connecting with others. In fact, many scientific studies have found self-disclosure to be a vital and rewarding part of forming social relationships. By allowing ourselves to be more in tune with our emotions, we open the door to empathy and understanding. When we express our emotions authentically, we create a space for others to do the same, strengthening the bonds that form the foundation of our relationships.

Recognizing the value of emotional expression is only the first step; the journey toward a richer, more fulfilling emotional life involves putting this understanding into action. Before we delve into the specific steps of embracing our emotions, it is important for us to address some barriers that might keep us from doing so.

Breaking down barriers to embracing our emotions

• Embracing our emotions can often evoke feelings of vulnerability, acting as a barrier to open expression. Creating a safe and nurturing environment is paramount, where the freedom to express emotions is met with understanding, free from judgment. This secure space can be fostered within the trusted circles of friends, family, or under the guidance of a mental health professional. Establishing such a supportive foundation sets the stage for a more open and authentic dialogue surrounding your emotions.
• The journey towards reconnecting with our emotions is not an instantaneous process. It requires time and some degree of effort. This often poses a barrier when we don’t plan accordingly. What can help is to set aside moments for self-reflection and exploring your current emotional state and the underlying reasons for these feelings. This intentional practice deepens your connection with emotions, peeling back layers to uncover their root causes.
• Embarking on the path to heightened emotional awareness is a personal and gradual endeavor. It's crucial to be patient as you navigate this exploration, discovering what resonates best with your unique emotional landscape. Allow the process to unfold naturally, recognizing that each step contributes to a more profound understanding and acceptance of your emotions.

Taking steps toward embracing our emotions

Now that we've laid the groundwork for creating a supportive emotional space and recognized the importance of self-reflection, here are a few concrete tips to help you embrace your emotions more fully. These practical strategies are designed to cultivate your emotional awareness and empower you on your journey of discovering your emotions:

• Practice mindfulness. Engage in mindfulness exercises to increase your awareness of the present moment. Mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, creating a space for a deeper understanding of your feelings.
• Identify and label your emotions. Take time to identify and label your emotions. Sometimes, we may struggle to articulate what we're feeling. Practice labeling your emotions without judgment—whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, or a combination. Acknowledging your feelings is a crucial step toward allowing yourself to experience them fully.
• Don’t sweep your emotions under the rug. Be mindful of the tendency to suppress or ignore your emotions. While distraction can be useful in certain situations, constant avoidance may lead to a "boomerang" effect, where emotions resurface later, often stronger. So, it’s important to find a balance between distraction and acknowledgment of emotions.
• Build new beliefs about emotions. Many of us have been taught that emotions are at least somewhat bad/unhelpful and make us weak. But all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, are a natural part of the human experience. When we build new beliefs about emotions and see them as a useful part of life, this can make it easier to embrace them more fully.
• Engage in creative outlets. Explore creative activities, such as art, music, or dance, as a means of expressing your emotions nonverbally. Creative outlets provide a unique space for emotional release and can be a therapeutic way to process complex feelings.
• Seek professional support. If you find it challenging to navigate your emotions independently, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy provides a structured and confidential space for exploring your feelings with guidance
• Celebrate your small wins. Acknowledge and celebrate small victories in expressing your emotions. Whether it's a candid conversation with a friend or successfully navigating a challenging emotional moment, recognizing your progress can be motivating.

Remember that embracing your emotions is a personal journey, and progress may take time. Be patient with yourself, celebrate even the smallest of progress, and allow the process to unfold gradually. This is a powerful step.

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How do we know it is working?

How do you know you’re moving towards embracing your emotions? Watch for the subtle shifts—a deeper connection with others, a growing understanding of yourself, and a newfound resilience in the face of challenges. In these moments, emotions add depth to life, like different colors in a painting. Keep exploring, acknowledging the little wins, and know that each move toward being more emotional is a step toward more self-awareness, well-being, and connection.

Julia Ditzer, M.Sc., is a Ph.D. student in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology at Technische Universität Dresden, Germany. Her research is focused on the long-term implications of early adversity for emotion processing and interoception.