Self Tests > Relationships > Family Estrangement Test for the Adult Child
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Family Estrangement Test for the Adult Child

20 Questions
3 Minutes

Can my relationship with my parent be repaired?

For an increasing number of young adults, cutting all ties with one or both parents—going full no-contact—is seen as a necessary way to manage difficulties in the relationship. But it is rarely a satisfying one. How likely are you to deploy this strategy when things get contentious?

Using the key below, answer the questions based on how strongly you agree or disagree with the statement.

Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neutral
Strongly Agree
Agree
1. I believe that going no-contact with a parent is necessary to solve some problems.
Disagree
Agree
2. I feel ashamed that my parent and I aren’t speaking.
Disagree
Agree
3. If a parent disapproves of your lifestyle choice(s), it’s okay to cut them off.
Disagree
Agree
4. I often think of my parent even though we are not in contact.
Disagree
Agree
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5. When my parent apologizes for how they hurt me growing up, I will consider talking to them again.
Disagree
Agree
6. I didn’t realize how deficient my childhood was until I became an adult.
Disagree
Agree
7. My parent is too emotionally rigid.
Disagree
Agree
8. Until my parent can admit what they did wrong, it’s best not to talk to them.
Disagree
Agree
9. In adulthood, having a relationship with a parent is optional.
Disagree
Agree
10. My parent has no clue that their child-raising approach was harmful.
Disagree
Agree
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11. I do not see eye-to-eye with my parent on many things, but we have an okay relationship.
Disagree
Agree
12. If I mention anything bad about my childhood, my parent acts as if I’m accusing them of a crime.
Disagree
Agree
13. My partner helped me understand that cutting off contact with my family is best for me.
Disagree
Agree
14. My parent cannot accept that anything they did was traumatic to me.
Disagree
Agree
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15. I have tried to set boundaries with my parent, but they always wind up violating them.
Disagree
Agree
16. I would consider reconnecting with my family but only under specific terms for contact.
Disagree
Agree
17. My parent keeps trying to contact me, and I wish they would stop.
Disagree
Agree
18. Because my relationship with my parent is stressful, contact is best avoided altogether.
Disagree
Agree
19. If my parent wants to see me again, they’re the one who will have to change.
Disagree
Agree
20. Feeling lonely is not enough of a reason to be in touch with my parent.
Disagree
Agree
Psychology Today's online self-tests are intended for informational purposes only and are not diagnostic tools. Psychology Today does not capture or store personally identifiable information, and your identity cannot be determined from your responses. Aggregated self-test responses are stored to improve the tests and provide performance comparisons. Psychology Today uses third party cookies such as Google Analytics to collect visitor data on this page without sharing any personal data, ensuring your identity cannot be determined from your visit. There are no advertising partners included on these self-test pages. If you wish to remove cookies from this site or opt out of data sharing, please click 'Do not share or sell my personal information' below. For a reliable medical diagnosis, please consult a professional.

Who Is This Test of Family Estrangement For?

This test is for any adult who has concerns about continuing contact with one or both parents. It is designed for adults and is not intended to be prescriptive.

We value your privacy - see how we protect the info you provide when you take this test.

Get Help for Family Estrangement

If you are challenged or distressed by difficulties in maintaining a relationship with one or both parents, you can speak to a mental health professional about ways to actively address them. You can find someone in the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

References

Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict. Harmony. 2024

Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. Fault Lines: Fractured Families and  How to Mend Them. Aery. 2022.

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