Why Kids Need More Play Time and Fewer Structured Activities

Saying things like, “My child is so busy,” has become a bit of a status symbol for parents who want to raise kids who are prepared for the real world. Ironically, overscheduled kids are actually missing out on the thing they need most for their development: unstructured playtime.

Kids need time and opportunity to run around in the grass, build forts, and play dress up. Play isn’t just entertainment; it’s a critical tool that fosters mental strength and emotional well-being.

In my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, I share how raising strong kids sometimes involves doing less for them, not more. Allowing them to play is just one of those ways we can step back and give them the opportunity to learn about themselves, their environment, and other people.

Research Shows Play Is a Learning Tool

When your child is playing with blocks or creating some artwork, you don’t have to quiz them on what color something is for their play to become a learning experience. In fact, asking questions or insisting they do things your way might interpret their learning. Research consistently supports the importance of play in children's cognitive and emotional development.

Studies have shown that play-based learning can improve memory, language skills, and emotional regulation. Play is such a natural and effective way for children to process their experiences and emotions that many therapists use play therapy to help children work through issues. Through play, children gain a sense of control and mastery over their environment, which is foundational for mental strength.

Imaginative Play Unlocks Creativity and Problem-Solving

Imaginative play, also known as pretend play, gives children the opportunity to explore different scenarios, roles, and possibilities.

Whether they're acting as superheroes, doctors, or explorers, children use their imagination to navigate complex situations, which enhances their problem-solving skills. They may need to overcome real challenges–like how to build a castle out of pillows. Or they may tackle pretend challenges–like how to save a city from the monster.

Imaginative play encourages creativity, allowing kids to think outside the box and view challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles.

Physical Play Builds Confidence and Relieves Stress

Physical play, including activities like running, jumping, and climbing, is not only essential for physical health but also for mental strength. Physical play helps children release pent-up energy and stress, promoting relaxation and better mood regulation.

Doing the physical challenges on their own is important. Unlike a class where a coach or an instructor may give them directions on how to complete a task, unstructured play gives them the opportunity to fail, learn from their own mistakes, and try again without the pressure that they’re being judged.

The confidence gained from mastering physical skills carries over into other areas of life too. Children who have frequent opportunities and freedom to engage in physical play develop a stronger belief in their ability to overcome challenges.

Social Play Fosters Emotional Intelligence and Cooperation

Social play involves interacting with peers, which is vital for developing emotional intelligence and social skills. Through games and group activities, children learn to communicate, negotiate, and share, which are essential components of emotional resilience.

While there’s nothing wrong with team sports and adult-led opportunities for social play, opportunities to play without adult-made rules are important too. Kids need opportunities to practice their social skills—like speaking up, asking for help, or leading their peers.

Social play teaches empathy, helping children understand and respond to the emotions of others, which is crucial for building strong, supportive relationships.

Resilience Essential Reads

Imagine All the People: Building Inner Strength Through Social Connection

Uncertainty Requires Connection

Practical Tips for Incorporating Play

While some children will turn anything into an opportunity for play (including meal times), other kids may declare they’re bored when given unstructured time. Here are some practical tips for encouraging play:

1. Create a play-friendly environment. Designate child-safe spaces where your children can freely engage in different types of play without the fear of breaking things or getting hurt. You don’t need to provide elaborate play sets or tons of toys. Instead, everyday objects like cardboard boxes and extra pillows can provide wonderful opportunities for play.
2. Encourage unstructured play. Allow children time for free play, where they can choose activities that interest them. This can foster independence and self-motivation. Encourage them to find things to do when they’re bored.
3. Involve yourself in play. Join in playtime activities, which can strengthen your bond with children and provide insight into their thoughts and feelings. Address safety concerns but try to avoid making a lot of suggestions or asking too many questions. Instead, just step into their world and play along.
4. Balance screen time. While digital games can be educational, they shouldn't replace physical and imaginative play. Encourage outdoor activities and interaction with peers.
5. Use play as a teaching tool. Whether you’re teaching your child how to do a new chore or you want them to learn how to invite another child to play, use play as a learning tool. Singing, storytelling, or role-playing exercises are just a few examples of fun ways to teach life skills.

Foster a Playful Environment

While it’s helpful to give kids unstructured playtime, you can also incorporate play into their daily routine. Letting them pretend they’re dressing up as a superhero when they’re getting ready for their day or allowing them to turn their snack into a dinosaur will help them thrive.

Keep in mind that learning about mental strength doesn’t have to be a sit-down lesson. Instead, it can be a playful adventure that helps them grow into confident, mentally strong adults who had plenty of free time to play.