The Art of Changing Your Mind

Shrimp Dinners

Source: Dall.E/OpenAI

I love shrimp. I’ll eat it grilled, sautéed, tossed in pasta, or dipped in cocktail sauce. But here’s the catch—my parents have no idea. Why? Because when I was a kid, I wouldn’t touch shrimp with a 10-foot pole. Convinced they were the bugs of the sea (a thought I still stand by, for the record), I refused to eat them no matter how they were cooked.

Fast forward a few decades, and I’m now the person ordering shrimp at restaurants and happily devouring them at parties. My relationship with shrimp has done a complete 180. And yet, when I visit my parents, shrimp never makes an appearance at the dinner table. They still think I hate it because I’ve never bothered to update them.

Why haven’t I told them? I suspect it’s because admitting I’ve changed my mind about shrimp might open the door to a deeper realization: If I can change my mind about this, what else might I need to re-examine? Do I need to admit that I now like Brussels sprouts too?

It’s a funny but meaningful reflection. If something as small as food preferences can evolve, what about bigger beliefs? What else have I been holding onto simply because it’s what I’ve always thought?

Why Changing Your Mind Feels So Hard

Changing our minds isn’t just about liking new foods—it’s a skill that has profound implications for personal growth and relationships. But it’s also something many of us resist. Why? Because admitting we’ve been wrong—or even just incomplete in our thinking—can feel deeply uncomfortable.

When we cling to being right, we activate the fear-based, reactive part of our brain: the amygdala. This part of our brain is designed to keep us safe from threats, but it doesn’t differentiate between a lion in the bushes and a challenge to our worldview. Both can trigger the same defensive response, leading us to dig in our heels, make assumptions, and cling to outdated beliefs.

This rigidity can limit us, stifling creativity, growth, and connection. In contrast, cognitive flexibility—the ability to adapt our thinking based on new information—is like a superpower for navigating life’s complexities. Research shows that cognitive flexibility boosts creativity, problem-solving, and resilience. It allows us to learn, grow, and embrace change rather than fear it.

The Benefits of Cognitive Flexibility

Being willing to change your mind doesn’t mean you lack conviction—it means you’re open to growth. Cognitive flexibility helps us:

1. Boost Creativity: Flexible thinking allows us to approach problems from new angles and generate innovative solutions. It’s the foundation of creative breakthroughs.
2. Improve Relationships: When we’re less defensive and more open to different perspectives, we foster deeper connections and reduce conflict.
3. Increase Resilience: Life rarely goes as planned, and cognitive flexibility helps us adapt to unexpected changes with less stress and more ease.

But the path to changing our minds isn’t always smooth. Admitting we were wrong can feel vulnerable and even threatening. So how do we overcome that discomfort?

3 Strategies for Embracing the Art of Changing Your Mind

If changing your mind feels daunting, these strategies can help you approach it with curiosity and courage:

1. Reframe Being Wrong as a Strength, Not a Weakness

Our culture often equates being wrong with failure, but in reality, admitting we’re wrong is a sign of strength. It shows that we’re willing to learn and grow rather than cling to outdated ideas out of fear or pride.

Try this: The next time you realize you’ve been wrong about something, celebrate it as a learning opportunity. Instead of saying, “I was wrong,” try framing it as, “I’ve learned something new.”

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2. Practice Curiosity Instead of Certainty

When we approach the world with curiosity, we shift from a defensive posture to an open one. Instead of focusing on being right, we focus on understanding.

Try this: When faced with a differing opinion or new information, ask yourself, What can I learn from this? What might I be missing? This mindset can help you see disagreements as opportunities for growth rather than threats.

3. Start Small

Changing your mind about deeply held beliefs can feel overwhelming, so start with something low-stakes—like revisiting a food you thought you didn’t like or trying an activity you’ve dismissed in the past. Small wins build the confidence and flexibility needed for bigger shifts.

Try this: Reflect on one small thing you’ve written off in the past. Give it another chance, and see what happens.

Honoring Who You Are Now

Changing your mind doesn’t mean betraying who you used to be—it means honoring who you are now. It’s a way of saying, I’m still learning, still evolving, and that’s okay.

So, perhaps it’s time for me to let my parents know that I like shrimp now. It’s not just about updating the dinner menu—it’s about acknowledging my capacity for growth and letting go of the fear of admitting I’ve changed. Maybe it’ll even spark a larger conversation about how we’ve all grown in ways we haven’t shared with each other.

The art of changing your mind isn’t about flipping opinions for the sake of it. It’s about being open to the idea that we’re all works in progress—and that’s something worth celebrating.

This holiday season, maybe my gift to myself (and my parents) will be a shrimp dinner. A small but meaningful way to honor the beauty of growth, flexibility, and the freedom to embrace who we are, one evolving belief at a time.