Are You Better Off Single or in a Relationship?

Single woman

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We can safely conclude that we probably all want to experience happiness and satisfaction in life. One way in which we can achieve this is through a happy and satisfying romantic relationship. Indeed, previous research seems to show that those who are single score lower on life satisfaction and emotional well-being measures than individuals who are in intimate relationships.

However, there are those who choose to be single in order to enjoy a sense of freedom or to pursue challenging career paths, where being in a relationship may interfere. There are also those who report being single because they may be between relationships. Alternatively, some individuals may be single due to poor interpersonal skills or because of an inability to detect positive signals from those who may have been potential mates. These people are single but may choose not to be (involuntary singles).

Relationship Quality

Being in a relationship comes with potential benefits such as economic and emotional support and physical closeness, yet even for those who are in relationships, some may be dissatisfied because the cost of the relationship may outweigh the benefits. Therefore, it is not necessarily being in a relationship that affects life satisfaction and emotional well-being, but rather, it is the quality of the relationship that is important.

Relationships also exist with economic and emotional ties, such as joint possessions and children, which may bind people together. Therefore, for those considering terminating a relationship, the simple question is whether it is better to persevere in a bad relationship or be single.

In order to address this question, Menelaos Apostolou and colleagues studied participants from twelve countries around the world, namely China, Egypt, Greece, Japan, Oman, Peru, Poland, Russia, Spain, Turkey, the UK, and Ukraine (Apostolou, Sullman, & Błachnio, et al., 2024). Of those studied, 29.4% were married, 23.5% were in a relationship, 19.3% were single by choice, and 12.2% were involuntary single being unable to secure a mate. Of the remainder, 9.1% reported being between relationships, and 6.5% reported themselves as “other”. The researchers used a Life Satisfaction Scale, a Happiness Measure, a Positive and Negative Affect Schedule, Optimism and Meaning in Life Measures, and for those in a relationship, a measure of Relationship Satisfaction.

The effect of being single

Overall, across all twelve countries, the researchers found that those individuals who were single reported lower levels of life satisfaction and emotional well-being compared to those who were married or in a relationship. The lowest levels of life satisfaction and emotional well-being were reported by individuals who were involuntary single (that is, single, but not by choice). People who reported being between relationships or who chose to be single scored somewhere in between those who were single but not by choice and those who were married or in a relationship.

It was also found that individuals in relationships were more optimistic and saw more meaning in their lives than those who were single. Again, the differences between those in relationships and those who were single in terms of feeling lonely were small to moderate, but they do suggest that those who were involuntary single did experience feelings of loneliness.

The effect of relationship quality

Individuals in a good intimate relationship reported greater life satisfaction and emotional well-being than individuals in a bad relationship or who were single. Overall, single individuals had greater life satisfaction and emotional well-being scores compared to those who were in a bad intimate relationship.

Those in good relationships had the highest levels of life satisfaction and positive emotions compared to those in bad relationships or who were single. While overall differences were small, the differences were more pronounced for the more specific emotions of happiness, loneliness, and life satisfaction.

It should be noted that this study is based on self-report, and as the researchers point out single participants may be unaware of the reasons as to why they are single or alternatively be reluctant to report why. Furthermore, the researchers also acknowledge that while being in a relationship may bring about positive attributes such as emotional well-being, it may also be that those individuals who display positive emotional traits such as happiness are more likely to attract a partner, and so we can’t say for definite which causes which.

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The findings from this study go some way toward answering the question of whether it is better to be single than in a bad relationship. However, the answer must also depend on various other factors, such as how much we are choosing to be single and the relative qualities of our current relationship. Thus, the answer is really down to the individual.