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I was recently asked, "What still needs to be changed to make it more accessible for people in the LGBTQ+ community to become parents?"
Some states have yet to begin treating all of their citizens equally. Some won’t give a nonbiologic gay partner custody along with the bio-parent. Some won’t even let you do an after-the-fact adoption. You have to go to another state, do the adoption there, then come home to your home state and have them recognize the adoption. I am not aware of any legitimate government aim advanced by this, but it adds stress and stigma and time and costs to surrogacy journeys, which takes resources from kids.
The previous administration advanced several policies which discriminated against LGBT families. It sought to let adoption agencies reject gay parents. It fought the automatic parentage of nonbiologic parents, even in married same-sex couples. It removed protections against discrimination of trans soldiers in the armed forces and of LGBT Americans by government agencies. All of this, particularly changes in the last weeks of the previous administration, did not advance a clear policy goal. For example, the administration cited the cost of transgender medical care, but the military itself did not consider it burdensome and it was actually a remarkably small sum in comparison to overall military healthcare. In addition, this claim did not account for the personnel costs of losing trained trans soldiers.
An Indiana law recently prevented same-sex parents from both being listed on birth certificates, even though straight couples have that privilege automatically. The Supreme Court invalidated that law by allowing a lower court decision to stand. Indiana said it was a question of biology, with only biologic parents obligated to take care of children until an adoption. But that wasn't true for straight couples (some of whom could have used gamete donation) and the additional costs of $4,000-5,000 for adoption would fall only on LGBT families and detract from childrearing. Leaning on recent rulings on marriage equality, the Supreme Court did not find Indiana's argument convincing.
More children would benefit from adoption if governments took a pro-adoption view and facilitated adoption instead of limiting eligible families. Children would also benefit from easier surrogacy and adoption procedures for LGBT families because legal battles drain resources and can be demoralizing. Every effort spent resisting parenting by LGBT families does NOT go toward helping the homeless kids, hungry kids, poorly educated kids, and abused American kids that unfortunately can be found across the country. A pro-child policy, then, would refocus efforts on kids at greatest need.
The kids perhaps most obviously at risk, because of government action: Those deprived of their parents at the border. The family separation policy was intended to deter migrants from seeking asylum and a safer and better life for their kids because immigration officials and migrants alike knew that separation would be painful and harmful to their children. A physician group called this policy “torture,” and lasting harm to children has been documented by medical professionals. Curiously, political and religious groups most opposed to LGBT rights are more likely to support the family separation policy, suggesting that these views have less to do with child welfare and more to do with political tribes and views of LGBT Americans apart from objective evidence of parenting skills.
What needs to change? Americans can vote for true child-centric priorities, ones that treat all kids the way they'd want their own kids treated. They can put fair-minded people in legislatures and courts, to replace existing anti-LGBT policies with non-discriminatory ones. These policies could support child welfare, including equality-related issues (like helping kids have two parents instead of one) but also efforts to improve childcare access for working parents, education, nutrition, housing, and medical care for children.
Everyone, ideally, but especially children.
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