Boundaries in Therapy

Boundaries are an essential part of effective therapy, but they are often overlooked until a boundary is crossed, misunderstood, or called into question. Clear boundaries help both the therapist and client understand what to expect from the therapeutic relationship and ensure both sides of the relationship are protected. Boundaries can help build trust, reduce confusion, and make it easier to address concerns if they arise.

This article outlines common areas where boundaries may come up in therapy, along with “dos” and “don’ts” for navigating them effectively.

Issues in therapy

DO: Raise any issues about the therapeutic process with your therapist, including those about boundaries being crossed. Many therapists are open and capable of changing their approach. Competent, ethical therapists will take your concerns very seriously and be willing to address them. If your therapist is dismissive, rude, or threatens you in some way, it is likely in your best interest to terminate therapy.

DON’T: Ignore concerns until they become larger or assume the therapist’s intentions. If something feels uncomfortable or unhelpful, naming it early can create an opportunity for clarification and redirection.

Therapist self-disclosure

DO: Notice if your therapist is using self-disclosure. While some self-disclosure can be helpful when it supports the client’s goals or strengthens trust, over-disclosure can also be problematic. If a therapist shares something personal, consider whether the disclosure felt helpful, distracting, or even harmful.

DON’T: Feel obligated to engage with the therapist’s self-disclosure through questions about their personal life, or other topics that shift the focus away from your needs. Therapy should remain centered on you as the client, even when the therapist occasionally shares something about themselves.

Physical touch

DO: Ask about your therapist’s approach to physical touch, if it feels relevant. In many forms of therapy, physical touch is not part of treatment, and any physical contact should be appropriate, consensual, and clinically justified.

DON’T: Assume physical touch is expected or acceptable in therapy. You have the right to decline any form of physical contact. If physical touch feels uncomfortable, confusing, or inappropriate, it should be addressed immediately and reported if necessary.

Confidentiality

DO: Ask about the therapist’s confidentiality policies at the beginning of treatment. You may want to ask what information stays private and what situations would require a therapist to break confidentiality, such as concerns about serious self-harm.

DON’T: Wait until a concern arises to learn about the rules around therapy confidentiality. Therapists are generally required to keep your information private, but there are important legal and ethical exceptions.

Communication outside sessions

DO: Set clear expectations for communication outside of sessions, including whether email, text, or phone calls are used. It can also be helpful to ask what types of topics are appropriate for between-session communication and what to do in a crisis.

DON’T: Use between-session communication as a substitute for therapy. Significant clinical concerns, ongoing processing, or urgent safety issues usually require a session or emergency support, rather than casual messaging.

Conflicts of interest

DO: Discuss potential conflicts of interest, such as if the therapist has another role in the client’s life (connected through a school, workplace, or community organization). Therapists are expected to avoid relationships that could impair their judgment or interfere with treatment.

DON’T: Ignore outside connections that may affect your therapy, including those that seem harmless as well as those that create discomfort, privacy concerns, or confusion about the therapist’s role.