Therapists in Oyster Bay, NY

Imago relationship therapy is a form of couples counseling meant to help partners address conflict, communication problems, and related issues. Imago sessions typically involve couples sitting facing each other and participating in guided conversations. Therapy will also involve exercises such as re-imagining one’s partner as a wounded child; re-romanticizing a relationship through appreciation, surprises, and even gift-giving and restructuring frustrations by transforming complaints into requests. The ultimate goal is to re-envision the relationship as a source of safety and happiness.

A core technique of Imago therapy is the Imago dialogue, in which partners learn to avoid hurtful statements and establish ways to interact based on each having equal space and power. In the dialogue, partners take turns as the “sender,” who shares their thoughts, and the “receiver.” The receiver is asked to “mirror,” or paraphrase, what their partner has said, without response or rebuttal, and then validate their statements, acknowledging understanding even if they do not personally agree with it. Finally, the receiver displays empathy by stating what they imagine the other is feeling, and showing appreciation for it.

As with most forms of talk therapy, there is no set duration or end point for Imago therapy. After becoming comfortable with a therapist and the core techniques of Imago coaching, some couples quickly make progress, but most should expect sessions to extend for months, encompassing at least 12 to 20 sessions, along with extensive “homework” from their therapist.

There is limited empirical evidence to support the benefits of Imago therapy, but some smaller studies suggest that it does help couples, at least in the short-term. A 2017 study found that marital satisfaction increased significantly after couples completed 12 sessions of Imago therapy, and remained higher for some time after that, but did not always result in “complete recovery.” Other studies found greater empathy and fewer feelings of relationship burnout in couples after therapy. Some research suggests that Imago therapy can aid individuals as well as couples; people with ADHD in particular may benefit from the development of communication, self-control, and listening skills that form the basis of the technique.