Photo of Mary M Clarke, Psychologist in Alameda County, CA
Mary M Clarke
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Oakland, CA 94610
Waitlist for new clients
Other specialty areas: personality concerns (BPD, etc.
For 20 years, I have provided safe, affirming trauma therapy for adults, couples, and groups. I also have the experience and education to provide therapy for many other relationship, mood, and dissociative concerns. I am straightforward, collaborative, and endeavor to be empowering. My therapy style is relational and includes a focus on emotion & body connection and your whole picture of health. We will work together to create peace and fullness in your life.
Other specialty areas: personality concerns (BPD, etc.
For 20 years, I have provided safe, affirming trauma therapy for adults, couples, and groups. I also have the experience and education to provide therapy for many other relationship, mood, and dissociative concerns. I am straightforward, collaborative, and endeavor to be empowering. My therapy style is relational and includes a focus on emotion & body connection and your whole picture of health. We will work together to create peace and fullness in your life.
(773) 770-8540 View (773) 770-8540
Photo of Brenda Barba, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Brenda Barba
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Fremont, CA 94538
I enjoy doing individual therapy with adults ranging from 18 to 75 years of age who struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, anger, borderline or bipolar disorders.
I am so glad you are taking the first step in this journey! Now Let me introduce myself. My name is Brenda Barba, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have been in the mental health profession for 5 years, but in the field for nearly 10. I enjoy what I do and constantly continue to educate myself to provide the best service to individuals who want to grow, heal, control their emotions, increase self-awareness and confidence, and learn coping skills to reach the best version of themselves. I have worked with a wide range of mental health diagnoses including but not limited to personality disorders, bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety.
I enjoy doing individual therapy with adults ranging from 18 to 75 years of age who struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, anger, borderline or bipolar disorders.
I am so glad you are taking the first step in this journey! Now Let me introduce myself. My name is Brenda Barba, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have been in the mental health profession for 5 years, but in the field for nearly 10. I enjoy what I do and constantly continue to educate myself to provide the best service to individuals who want to grow, heal, control their emotions, increase self-awareness and confidence, and learn coping skills to reach the best version of themselves. I have worked with a wide range of mental health diagnoses including but not limited to personality disorders, bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety.
(510) 871-8689 View (510) 871-8689
Photo of Kari Ann Tuggle-Nord, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Kari Ann Tuggle-Nord
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, RD, CHES
Verified Verified
Fremont, CA 94536  (Online Only)
Hi, I’m Kari, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Registered Dietitian. I support individuals experiencing anxiety and depression, struggling with an eating disorder, caught in addiction, or navigating a life transition. I have specialized training in the treatment of eating disorders and common co-occurring disorders such as OCD, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and substance use. I also support people who want to improve their lives by setting healthier boundaries, building confidence, and living more aligned to their values.
Hi, I’m Kari, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Registered Dietitian. I support individuals experiencing anxiety and depression, struggling with an eating disorder, caught in addiction, or navigating a life transition. I have specialized training in the treatment of eating disorders and common co-occurring disorders such as OCD, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and substance use. I also support people who want to improve their lives by setting healthier boundaries, building confidence, and living more aligned to their values.
(657) 214-3144 View (657) 214-3144
Photo of Rachel Willimott, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Rachel Willimott
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94609  (Online Only)
I help people with anxiety and trauma find freedom from their emotions and thoughts to live a more meaningful life. Maybe you find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety and self-critical thoughts, even though on the outside you appear just fine. Or perhaps you have a history of trauma or difficult relationships and you don't know how to handle the strong emotions you feel at times. These experiences can be confusing and overwhelming, and I can help you learn to work with them in a compassionate and insightful way so that you can be the person you want to be.
I help people with anxiety and trauma find freedom from their emotions and thoughts to live a more meaningful life. Maybe you find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety and self-critical thoughts, even though on the outside you appear just fine. Or perhaps you have a history of trauma or difficult relationships and you don't know how to handle the strong emotions you feel at times. These experiences can be confusing and overwhelming, and I can help you learn to work with them in a compassionate and insightful way so that you can be the person you want to be.
(510) 560-7097 View (510) 560-7097
Photo of Kelli McLean, LMFT , Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Kelli McLean, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94612  (Online Only)
Psychotherapy is unique & takes courage. It's fulfilling-yet challenging. Using empathy, collaboration, intuition, open mindedness & humor, we will identify automatic ways of thinking, & behaving- that show up as internal conflict, self sabotage, low self esteem, depression, relationship struggles & anxiety. I have a wide array of experience, working with diverse populations, including POC, people diagnosed with personality disorders, those experiencing psychosis, queer identified folks, folks with learning differences, & students with achievement struggles and imposter syndrome. My practice is trauma informed.
Psychotherapy is unique & takes courage. It's fulfilling-yet challenging. Using empathy, collaboration, intuition, open mindedness & humor, we will identify automatic ways of thinking, & behaving- that show up as internal conflict, self sabotage, low self esteem, depression, relationship struggles & anxiety. I have a wide array of experience, working with diverse populations, including POC, people diagnosed with personality disorders, those experiencing psychosis, queer identified folks, folks with learning differences, & students with achievement struggles and imposter syndrome. My practice is trauma informed.
(424) 370-0778 View (424) 370-0778
Photo of Alice Hamlin, Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Alice Hamlin
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT, PPSC
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94603  (Online Only)
Waitlist for new clients
If you are struggling to move on from previous hurts and struggle with emotional outbursts due to memories from your past, I am here to help you process, grieve, and begin anew. I am happy to listen and guide you through life's twists and turns in a way that is best suited for you while also offering my therapeutic perspective. Therapy is YOUR TIME to be heard without judgment or biases!
If you are struggling to move on from previous hurts and struggle with emotional outbursts due to memories from your past, I am here to help you process, grieve, and begin anew. I am happy to listen and guide you through life's twists and turns in a way that is best suited for you while also offering my therapeutic perspective. Therapy is YOUR TIME to be heard without judgment or biases!
(279) 202-9419 View (279) 202-9419
Photo of Lis Elle Werth, Marriage & Family Therapist Associate in Alameda County, CA
Lis Elle Werth
Marriage & Family Therapist Associate, MA, SEP, AMFT, LMHC-LP
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Oakland, CA 94611
I specialize in couples and relationship work. Clients I tend to work with are individuals, couples, and those in relationship who may identify as: unsure, big dreamers, creatives, somatically curious, spiritual seekers, longing for belonging, gender expansive, queer, non-heteronormative, neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, grieving, insecure, psychedelically-inclined, powerfully sensitive, emotionally dysregulated, substance users, attempting intimacy and deep relationship with others, and/or trauma survivors. I am offering ketamine-assisted therapy for NY residents. I am also an SEP.
I specialize in couples and relationship work. Clients I tend to work with are individuals, couples, and those in relationship who may identify as: unsure, big dreamers, creatives, somatically curious, spiritual seekers, longing for belonging, gender expansive, queer, non-heteronormative, neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, grieving, insecure, psychedelically-inclined, powerfully sensitive, emotionally dysregulated, substance users, attempting intimacy and deep relationship with others, and/or trauma survivors. I am offering ketamine-assisted therapy for NY residents. I am also an SEP.
(510) 369-1702 View (510) 369-1702
Photo of Danielle Comerford Worth, Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Danielle Comerford Worth
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT, LPCC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Oakland, CA 94610  (Online Only)
Waitlist for new clients
As humans, we are brilliantly complex, wired for connection, attachment, and survival. Our experience of joy and suffering are innately human and are connected to our physical and emotional wellness--inseparable realms. In somatic psychotherapy we hold space for the body to have a language of its own, honoring what it has to say, so that we may more clearly see what is beneath the surface. As a somatic psychotherapist, I am a collaborator, guide and mirror, supporting you in increasing your own sense of exploration of conscious and unconscious patterns of behaviors, beliefs, body signals and cues.
As humans, we are brilliantly complex, wired for connection, attachment, and survival. Our experience of joy and suffering are innately human and are connected to our physical and emotional wellness--inseparable realms. In somatic psychotherapy we hold space for the body to have a language of its own, honoring what it has to say, so that we may more clearly see what is beneath the surface. As a somatic psychotherapist, I am a collaborator, guide and mirror, supporting you in increasing your own sense of exploration of conscious and unconscious patterns of behaviors, beliefs, body signals and cues.
(510) 345-1765 View (510) 345-1765
Photo of Brittney Green, Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Brittney Green
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT, EMDR, IFS
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94609
Life can feel impossible to avoid struggling and we often don't feel we have the skills to cope successfully through. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't have all the resources we need for a given situation. Parts of us take on desperate roles trying to help us to survive. This might look like anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, and relationship/family issues. I aim to help you process unresolved issues and feelings and find solutions.
Life can feel impossible to avoid struggling and we often don't feel we have the skills to cope successfully through. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't have all the resources we need for a given situation. Parts of us take on desperate roles trying to help us to survive. This might look like anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, and relationship/family issues. I aim to help you process unresolved issues and feelings and find solutions.
(415) 582-4434 View (415) 582-4434
Photo of Jennifer Simon, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Jennifer Simon
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, JD, LCSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Oakland, CA 94602
I completed my Masters of Social Work at Smith College School for Social Work. I received my post-masters training at Kaiser Permanente Oakland Adult Psychiatry, where I practiced individual adult and group psychotherapy for six years before transitioning into private practice. Working at Kaiser afforded me experience with a wide range of client concerns and gave me the opportunity to work with clients from a wide range of socioeconomic, cultural, and relationship backgrounds. Before pursuing my MSW, I practiced as a corporate transactional attorney at two Bay Area law firms after completing my JD at Harvard Law School.
I completed my Masters of Social Work at Smith College School for Social Work. I received my post-masters training at Kaiser Permanente Oakland Adult Psychiatry, where I practiced individual adult and group psychotherapy for six years before transitioning into private practice. Working at Kaiser afforded me experience with a wide range of client concerns and gave me the opportunity to work with clients from a wide range of socioeconomic, cultural, and relationship backgrounds. Before pursuing my MSW, I practiced as a corporate transactional attorney at two Bay Area law firms after completing my JD at Harvard Law School.
(510) 662-0976 View (510) 662-0976
Photo of Sarah Wolfarth-Davis, Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Sarah Wolfarth-Davis
Marriage & Family Therapist, PhD, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94611
Taking the necessary steps towards mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being is not an easy task, and does not have to be done alone. My commitment is assisting and supporting you in finding the unique tool you need to move towards long term healing. My focus is on mind, body and spirit as we work together. I respect the unique and intricate experiences and identities you bring into the therapeutic relationship.
Taking the necessary steps towards mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being is not an easy task, and does not have to be done alone. My commitment is assisting and supporting you in finding the unique tool you need to move towards long term healing. My focus is on mind, body and spirit as we work together. I respect the unique and intricate experiences and identities you bring into the therapeutic relationship.
(951) 463-4863 View (951) 463-4863
Photo of Kalani Perreira, Marriage & Family Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Kalani Perreira
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Oakland, CA 94619  (Online Only)
I believe that we all have more potential than we know, and no matter where we might currently find ourselves or where we have been in the past, we each have the capacity for psychological and emotional growth. I have a special interest and passion providing therapy to couples, and individuals struggling with transition, and experiencing feelings of disconnection, isolation, and grief. In my more than 20 years of working in mental health, most of my work has been centered around supporting people in healing attachment wounds, trauma (complex, historical, intergenerational), and all symptoms that manifest as a result.
I believe that we all have more potential than we know, and no matter where we might currently find ourselves or where we have been in the past, we each have the capacity for psychological and emotional growth. I have a special interest and passion providing therapy to couples, and individuals struggling with transition, and experiencing feelings of disconnection, isolation, and grief. In my more than 20 years of working in mental health, most of my work has been centered around supporting people in healing attachment wounds, trauma (complex, historical, intergenerational), and all symptoms that manifest as a result.
(510) 319-3103 View (510) 319-3103
Photo of Fatemeh Laya Jamali, Marriage & Family Therapist Associate in Alameda County, CA
Fatemeh Laya Jamali
Marriage & Family Therapist Associate, AMFT, MA, MRes
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Oakland, CA 94612
Within all of us lives an inner healing intelligence that is unique to each individual. Although sometimes internal or external barriers prevent us from connecting with this internal resource. As a therapist, I am committed to creating a safe container where you can get in touch with your own inner wisdom. I will be a collaborator with you on your journey of self-discovery and meaning making, to examine and explore these barriers and patterns that contribute to feelings of stuckness.
Within all of us lives an inner healing intelligence that is unique to each individual. Although sometimes internal or external barriers prevent us from connecting with this internal resource. As a therapist, I am committed to creating a safe container where you can get in touch with your own inner wisdom. I will be a collaborator with you on your journey of self-discovery and meaning making, to examine and explore these barriers and patterns that contribute to feelings of stuckness.
(415) 234-0290 View (415) 234-0290
Kristen Rouse Nelson
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Fremont, CA 94538
Practices empowerment and the healing arts of psychotherapy for adults, couples, families, and groups. Experienced in supporting parenthood through fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, parenting education, coaching, and support. Treats multiple and co-occurring disorders. Experienced in supporting mood disorders and symptoms, including depression, anxiety, and compulsions. Trauma specialist. Grief and loss. Experienced treating first responders. Provides LGBTQIA safe and affirming space and is experienced and trained in transgender and non-heteronormative support. Works to strengthen families and partners with their goals and values.
Practices empowerment and the healing arts of psychotherapy for adults, couples, families, and groups. Experienced in supporting parenthood through fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, parenting education, coaching, and support. Treats multiple and co-occurring disorders. Experienced in supporting mood disorders and symptoms, including depression, anxiety, and compulsions. Trauma specialist. Grief and loss. Experienced treating first responders. Provides LGBTQIA safe and affirming space and is experienced and trained in transgender and non-heteronormative support. Works to strengthen families and partners with their goals and values.
(510) 519-3493 View (510) 519-3493
Photo of Emily Schiller, Psychologist in Alameda County, CA
Emily Schiller
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Berkeley, CA 94710
Life can be challenging in the best of circumstances, and during the pandemic (and since then,) we all know how much harder things became for so many people. Isolation. Frustration. Depression. Grief. Relationship conflict. Job stress. These stressors can be overwhelming for anyone. My therapeutic approach is flexible based on the needs of my clients. I frequently draw on clinical techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Attachment Therapy. I am also committed to helping couples navigate relationship difficulties using components of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and DBT.
Life can be challenging in the best of circumstances, and during the pandemic (and since then,) we all know how much harder things became for so many people. Isolation. Frustration. Depression. Grief. Relationship conflict. Job stress. These stressors can be overwhelming for anyone. My therapeutic approach is flexible based on the needs of my clients. I frequently draw on clinical techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Attachment Therapy. I am also committed to helping couples navigate relationship difficulties using components of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and DBT.
(510) 901-5293 View (510) 901-5293
Photo of Debra Milinsky, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Alameda County, CA
Debra Milinsky
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, MA, LCSW
Verified Verified
Berkeley, CA 94707
Every journey.. your first thought to call a therapist when you need to talk to someone, begins with a single step. When anxiety, depression, stress, personal, family, work relationship problems lead you to reach out, I will listen and help you find the best way through. Experienced licensed psychotherapist, 40+ years in general psychotherapy practice, I provide a safe place to talk, explore, resolve, heal what is challenging or troubling. I bring compassion, perceptiveness combined with patience, curiosity and many years of knowledge and skill to our collaboration to help you find effective solutions and make better life choices.
Every journey.. your first thought to call a therapist when you need to talk to someone, begins with a single step. When anxiety, depression, stress, personal, family, work relationship problems lead you to reach out, I will listen and help you find the best way through. Experienced licensed psychotherapist, 40+ years in general psychotherapy practice, I provide a safe place to talk, explore, resolve, heal what is challenging or troubling. I bring compassion, perceptiveness combined with patience, curiosity and many years of knowledge and skill to our collaboration to help you find effective solutions and make better life choices.
(510) 761-5931 View (510) 761-5931
Photo of Barbara Claire Freeman, Licensed Psychoanalyst in Alameda County, CA
Barbara Claire Freeman
Licensed Psychoanalyst, PhD
Verified Verified
Berkeley, CA 94708
Sometimes it seems life asks us to bear the unbearable. A heartbreaking loss, difficult transition, illness of yourself or loved one, the lack of anything that might make your life meaningful and pleasurable—these are some of the issues I respond to and can help with. If you’re suffering or your life lacks purpose look at my website and, if you feel a connection, please reach out. I work from a generous and flexible sliding scale and am committed to providing accessible treatment. Whatever you’re facing, you don’t have to do this alone. Psychoanalytic therapy, especially as practiced by Lacanian analysts, can be transformative.
Sometimes it seems life asks us to bear the unbearable. A heartbreaking loss, difficult transition, illness of yourself or loved one, the lack of anything that might make your life meaningful and pleasurable—these are some of the issues I respond to and can help with. If you’re suffering or your life lacks purpose look at my website and, if you feel a connection, please reach out. I work from a generous and flexible sliding scale and am committed to providing accessible treatment. Whatever you’re facing, you don’t have to do this alone. Psychoanalytic therapy, especially as practiced by Lacanian analysts, can be transformative.
(341) 888-7964 View (341) 888-7964
Photo of Iris Leung, Psychologist in Alameda County, CA
Iris Leung
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
Berkeley, CA 94704  (Online Only)
Dr. Iris Leung is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in gender and sexual identity, race-based stress, transitional periods, trauma, depression, anxiety, sleep issues, sexual health, and relationship strain. Dr. Leung’s integrative clinical approach is grounded in psychodynamic, relational, and evidence-based theories. They strongly believe in the importance of validating emotions and personal narratives, and creating an empathic space for introspection and change.
Dr. Iris Leung is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in gender and sexual identity, race-based stress, transitional periods, trauma, depression, anxiety, sleep issues, sexual health, and relationship strain. Dr. Leung’s integrative clinical approach is grounded in psychodynamic, relational, and evidence-based theories. They strongly believe in the importance of validating emotions and personal narratives, and creating an empathic space for introspection and change.
(415) 754-4732 View (415) 754-4732
Photo of Roli Sharma, Marriage & Family Therapist Associate in Alameda County, CA
Roli Sharma
Marriage & Family Therapist Associate, APCC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Berkeley, CA 94702  (Online Only)
Welcome! As an authentic and curious clinician who likes to meet clients where they are at and explore how they show up for themselves and others, I am glad you are here! I have experience working with folks of various ages and diagnoses, specifically couples, substance use, and other mental health concerns. As a bilingual therapist (Hindi/English), I am eager to explore varying cultural dynamics and how they show up in interpersonal relationships. In the therapy room, she values being grounded, authenticity, curiosity, and warmth. I am looking forward to meeting with you! If you feel we are a good fit, please reach out today!
Welcome! As an authentic and curious clinician who likes to meet clients where they are at and explore how they show up for themselves and others, I am glad you are here! I have experience working with folks of various ages and diagnoses, specifically couples, substance use, and other mental health concerns. As a bilingual therapist (Hindi/English), I am eager to explore varying cultural dynamics and how they show up in interpersonal relationships. In the therapy room, she values being grounded, authenticity, curiosity, and warmth. I am looking forward to meeting with you! If you feel we are a good fit, please reach out today!
(510) 984-9391 View (510) 984-9391
Photo of David Bowman Volker, Counselor in Alameda County, CA
David Bowman Volker
Counselor, LPCC, MA
Verified Verified
Berkeley, CA 94709  (Online Only)
Our experiences and lives are each unique, filled with a rich depth of nuance and meaning. I believe one of the profound ways therapy heals is in offering space for something vitally nutritive yet rare: presence that is both committed and neutral. This both intimate and non-reactive/nonjudgmental "being with” of contact with another, and with ourselves, of simply touching and holding our experiences, I believe communicates value and holds deep power for transformation. While trauma encodes in our nervous systems, beliefs and self-talk, neuroplasticity means that our brains can change with new experiences- internal and interpersonal.
Our experiences and lives are each unique, filled with a rich depth of nuance and meaning. I believe one of the profound ways therapy heals is in offering space for something vitally nutritive yet rare: presence that is both committed and neutral. This both intimate and non-reactive/nonjudgmental "being with” of contact with another, and with ourselves, of simply touching and holding our experiences, I believe communicates value and holds deep power for transformation. While trauma encodes in our nervous systems, beliefs and self-talk, neuroplasticity means that our brains can change with new experiences- internal and interpersonal.
(341) 895-7598 View (341) 895-7598

See more therapy options for Alameda County

Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.